[Read Time - 7 minutes]

Photographing a wedding is challenging enough.

Adding extra and unnecessary drama on top is especially challenging, and few things are more challenging than working with a genuine “Bridezilla.”

In Issue #18, I talked about what turns a perfectly lovely young bride into the legendary wedding creature known as Bridezilla. (Read that issue here).

Knowing how to deal with her is great, but the bigger question is,

“How do you screen her in advance and avoid that pressure altogether?”

Well, I have good news and bad news.

First, the bad news - Early in your wedding photography career, you’ll more than likely be unable to avoid Bridezilla.

This is unfortunate but also necessary for building a successful business. When you’re starting, it’s important to “get your reps in.”

You need to shoot weddings and get comfortable with all the personalities that come with weddings.

When you’re building your business, you don’t have the luxury of being choosy about the weddings you shoot or the brides you shoot when you’re getting your reps.

Of course, everyone wants that perfect bride - beautiful and kind, loving everything and everyone she comes in contact with - imagine Disney’s original ANIMATED Snow White only in a wedding dress.

Reality isn’t always that easy.

There are some brides who, for lack of a better way to put it, are a handful.

You know people who are demanding and difficult, right? Those people get married, too, and they’re not likely to become a different person on their wedding day, but they do deserve a good photographer for their wedding and early on, that photographer might be you.

Now, the good news. Once you feel like you’ve established yourself, shot a few weddings and are ready to make wedding photography a serious career, it’s time to start setting some boundaries for yourself and your business.

Priority #1 - Hire the people you like and will feel the most comfortable around.

I cannot emphasize how important this is.

Look at it this way - You do your best work when you’re comfortable, right? And if you’re not comfortable, you won’t do your best work. You don’t need to be reminded how important and stressful this day already is.

Would you want to spend the entire day hanging out with AND SERVING someone you didn’t like and didn’t feel comfortable with?

My answer is a resounding NOPE, and I hope yours is too.

This is why it’s so important to meet with your couple before booking them.

Yes, this meeting is about showing off your work, but it’s also about the bride getting to know what you’re like (you’re awesome), AND you getting to know what they’re like (this is what you’re going to find out).

Consider this a creative job interview, and you get to decide who you want to work for.

For starters, if you go into the wedding meeting with this mindset, you will feel massively empowered, which is great for your confidence and selling ability.

This meeting is your opportunity to ask questions and learn what’s important to the bride (Hint: if she doesn’t mention her soon-to-be husband at least once, that’s a red flag).

Of course, the bride cares about the details, but if you hear things like, “I want this to happen, and I want that to happen,” there might be unrealistic expectations (another red flag).

These expectations can set you up for failure.

This is a wedding day, after all, and with so many moving parts, it’s not uncommon for something to go wrong. If you sense this bride won’t be able to handle something going wrong, that’s another sizable red flag.

You want to look for a bride who cares about what this day means more than what it’s supposed to look like.

I know that may be a lot to ask, but your job is also to ask questions.

Ideally, you want a bride who cares about you, your creativity and preserving the great things that will happen throughout the day, not demanding specific things that could realistically be out of your control.

Rain is tough to control. Wind is impossible to control. The Sun is also challenging to control, but good photographers find ways to do it. However, when Mr. Sun decides it’s time to go home for the night and goes down, he’s not coming back up for a while.

There are things you CAN control, but it’ll take cooperation.

If your bride is willing to work with you to help make her wishes come true, then you have something you can build on. It’s your job to communicate with her and discover those little things. It’s a relationship (both business and personal), so treat it like one.

Talk to your bride, take this interview process seriously, and you’ll avoid challenging clients waving all those red flags.

Oh, and one more thing - This also goes for the Mother of the Bride. The bride could be super cool, but if the parents are going to vex you beyond your comfort level, don’t be afraid to make the hard choice.

This doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.

And lastly, if you find yourself feeling like you’d be better off NOT working with a bride or a couple, it’s best to say it kindly and honestly.

I recommend taking a day to breathe in and out and think about the time you spent together. If you still feel like you’d prefer NOT to take their wedding, a simple call will do (I prefer to decline with a call rather than an email. It’s a classier move).

Here’s a script you can use.

“Thank you so much for meeting with me yesterday. Your wedding day sounds terrific, but I don’t think I’m the right photographer for you. I need to feel confident for me to do my best work, and given my photography style and what you’ve described for your day, I don’t think we’ll be a good fit.”

You should mention some of your concerns, but don’t be mean and don’t make it personal. Take a tip from Michael Corleone, “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

Keep it businesslike and explain why your style isn’t compatible with her needs.

This may take some practice, but you’ll find the right things to say, and then you can offer other photographers who might be a better fit (This is also a classy move).

I’ll say it again - Do not make this personal.

The bride-to-be is doing her best to create the best possible day for herself (she wants to hire you, after all). She’s not guaranteed to become Bridezilla, but some personalities come together like Lego, and others are like Lincoln Logs (they sort of fit, but not perfectly).

On the wedding day, you want to deliver your very best work, so yes, personalities that are aligned are good.

Be kind, be professional, and if she’s genuinely not going to bring out your best work, do what you feel is best.

But also be very careful who you refer this bride to. The last thing you want is to burn a bridge with a colleague.

But what can you do when you find your bride is actually a Closet Bridezilla? (Here’s an excerpt from Issue #18)

Yes, it does happen. You do your due diligence, and despite your best efforts, you find your lovely bride has a bit of a dark side. Don’t sweat it.

I can tell you that the best defense against a Bridezilla is a strong and syrupy-sweet offense. Don’t go overboard, and don’t “act” like you care if you really don’t, but try these.

• Be a great advocate for your bride.

• Be compassionate and reassuring. Tell the bride how well things are going.

• Go above and beyond and fix whatever is bugging her.

• Be the strong and steady one and always remind her, “No matter what, I’ll make sure the wedding doesn’t start without you” (you can borrow that line if you’d like :)

Believe it or not, this is a way to really gain massive points with Mom and the bridesmaids. By being the coolest head in the room and the most calming person possible.

Everyone sees the little things you do, especially the bridesmaids.

Being comfortable and doing your best work despite personality challenges is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 7 minutes]

This is one of the harder topics to write about because I know how important it is to an aspiring creative to turn their passion into a profession.

I know how easy it is to start a business.

I also know how easy it is to fail at growing a business.

I don’t know where you are in your journey, but I’ll assume you’re a good photographer who has already spent a good amount of money on cameras and is now considering how to make some with all this groovy gear.

I don’t want you to decide if you’re going to become a FULL-TIME wedding photographer at this point.

I do want you to ask yourself if you’re ready to turn your photography into a business and a serious form of income for yourself.

My guess is you’ve already crossed that bridge of possibility, and you’re curious how this might look for you.

Now there are several ways to start a small business, and depending on your state or country, you’ll likely do so in the most efficient way possible.

If you’re unsure, go to your local bank and chat with someone there. You can start with a DBA (Doing Business As) Account right away and take the first step. It’s important if you’re making money with your photography that you keep records, pay taxes and do things by the book.

You can run a DBA for a long time until you want to get really serious. Then you’ll have to visit your city and state government offices for the next steps.

The main point here is getting your head straight that THIS is your path, you’re prepared to go down it, AND you’re willing to commit to it, bumps, curves and all.

Starting is easy - Continuing is where it’s challenging. Let’s talk about the next steps.

I don’t know your situation, but let’s look at two common ones.

Scenario #1 - You’re working a job, though NOT as a photographer, and you want to get started in wedding photography. Congrats, this is a GOOD start.

My best advice to everyone interested in wedding photography is to work as a second shooter for a pro who shoots weddings every weekend.

This is THE BEST place to start, and will let you shoot weddings and see if you even LIKE weddings. Not everyone does, and that is just fine!

I talk about second shooting in more detail in Issue #15, and you can read it here.

As you build your skills and confidence shooting weddings and perhaps even other things, you can turn this into a nice side hustle.

The good news here is that everything you do to set up your business transfers easily to another area of photography, like Commercial, Portraits, Sports or Photojournalism.

Scenario #2 - You still have a day job but you’ve been a second shooter and loved it. Perhaps you even booked a small wedding or two of your own and loved that as well. You can see yourself as a professional wedding photographer.

This is a special place to be, and it’s also a dangerous place because you have some money now, a little street cred and a passion that’s pretty hot.

You have a legit side hustle going, and you’re probably thinking, “When is it time to make this a business?” Another way that’s probably close to the mark is, “When can I quit my day job and make THIS my full-time gig?”

This is a very good question and a big one.

Someone smart once told me that the best time to quit your “day job” and make your side hustle your new full-time job is when the day job gets in the way of your growing side hustle. This is good, but there is a bit more to this sage advice.

Of course, this will take some time. Your day job is where your money is (assuming you’re working, of course) and you can’t exactly just take that big step all Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade-style.

Your side hustle is where your heart is. I get that, but I also get that you need more than passion to pay the bills. And before you start spending that extra income you got coming in, I want you to do something hard - Save your money.

Let’s back up just a bit before you poo-poo my money advice.

I’m sure you’ve done a little research and found you need a few more things before you can shoot weddings full-time...namely, backup gear.

That means you’ll have to spend a little more money, but you’re determined to pay for this with your earnings, right? Right?

Start slow and, if you can, I recommend borrowing gear as needed until you can shoot enough weddings to justify buying the bare essentials: two cameras, two lenses, two flashes, and plenty of batteries and cards.

Once you have the essential gear, your backup gear and everything you need to shoot wherever and whenever, NOW you’re in a place to start considering making this your top job.

Are you ready to pull the trigger?

Hold on there, cowboy! Remember the saving part? NOW you’re ready to save.

Since we’ve already established you’re working, and money is coming in, when you shoot a wedding, put that money away.

Shoot another wedding and put that money away too. During this first year or two of growth, you’re building your skills (photography and marketing), you’re building your relationships, and you’re building your confidence to do this for a living.

What you also need to build is a little nest egg of savings to get you started.

Have you ever borrowed money for something?

It’s not fun. You have the money, but you still have to pay that money back, and you won’t be free unless you do.

What I’m suggesting is a plan of saving that creates a Personal Pad of Pecuniary Protection (a really fancy phrase for a safety net that I’m now calling your PPPP).

While you’re working your day job and building your side hustle, you’re putting yourself in a position where you can fund The Big Launch.

My recommended PPPP is one year of income and a steady stream of bookings for the next year.

You need a backup savings account equal to your full-time income, and you have enough weddings committed to start a new year to pay all bills.

Once you’ve run the numbers and have a comfortable number of weddings “on the books,” you’ll be able see how much you’re projecting to make this year.

“But wait, Chris, this means I’m working practically two jobs! I’ll be really busy!”

Yes, you are and will be, my friend, but you’re building something for yourself and hopefully doing something you love (Remember that part about seeing if you even LIKE weddings?)

You’ll work VERY hard, but once you fill your PPPP, you get to make the decision you’ve been waiting for... dreaming of, dare I say.

And if you’ve built your PPPP properly, you can sleep easily knowing you have plenty of backup savings to help you build your business the right way.

Look, I’m not a professional money manager. I’m also admittedly a bit overly cautious about making life-altering decisions like this.

When I told my wife I wanted to quit my day job, the security and the insurance, it wasn’t easy.

We had two kids, and I was good at my job. But I had a vision, and I made a plan that made sense and made her comfortable. That’s all that mattered.

You can do this.

You can do it slowly or quickly, but the important thing is to decide TO DO IT and commit to doing whatever you need to make it happen.

With the right mindset, preparation and execution, you can design the work and life you’ve always dreamed of.

Preparing yourself to “take the leap” is just one of the little parts of the inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time > 4 Minutes]

This is a somewhat peculiar and personal segment to cover in a newsletter about wedding photography, but it’s definitely an “inside issue and I’m pretty sure you’ll never see or read about this from another photography magazine or blog.

The mystery topic…Taking care of your feet.

I was just over six years into my professional wedding photography career. I was shooting every weekend, and at the end of each night, I was miserable.

When I woke in the morning after a wedding, my legs, back, feet and hips were in tremendous pain, and I could barely walk.

This was not good.

My career was just taking off, but after each wedding, I felt like an octogenarian. Something had to change, and soon.

On one memorably debilitating Sunday afternoon, I was watching the movie Forrest Gump, with my feet up, of course.

When Forrest and Bubba landed in Vietnam, the first person they met was their commanding officer, Lieutenant Dan Taylor. He had two standing orders for every member of his platoon:

“One, take good care of your feet, and two, try not to do anything stupid.”

This is surprisingly good advice, and if it was good enough for soldiers in combat, I decided it was good enough for wedding photographers.

I started with the shoes. You’ll be happy to know I decided NOT to go down the road of horrible-looking orthopedic shoes.

I have some pride and at least a small amount of fashion sense, after all.

My shoes did need an upgrade, however, and I bought some good ones.

I’ll let you decide what “good” means to you, but I’d suggest something in the $100-$300 range. They need to be quality leather shoes with a good build and great support (no fashion slippers! I don’t care how cool or expensive they are)

I could hardly believe what a difference a high-quality pair of shoes can make!

I noticed the difference the very next weekend. My legs were still plenty fatigued at the end of the night, but at least I could walk the next morning with only a small amount of pain.

The next step (no pun intended) - my socks. Lieutenant Dan’s advice finally hit home.

Full disclosure: I’m not a fancy sock guy. I know it’s trendy for some people to wear brightly-colored socks and appear all edgy in their dark pants, but that’s not me.

I’m moving a LOT on the wedding day, so I needed socks that would stay up all day and not look like mini legwarmers every 20 minutes (shout out to those who remember the 80s).

I went with the looong black dress socks that honestly look like they came out of the 80s. Those suckers came up to just below my knee, and thanks to the industrial-strength elastic band, they stayed up no matter how active I was. But then I added my own personal touch...

Athletic socks underneath the dress socks. Don’t laugh, they worked.

I went with golf-style ankle socks so my ankles didn’t look like I was nine months pregnant.

Were they difficult to put on, you bet! Did they give me a cushiony support that kept me moving all day?

You betcha!

And not only did I feel great at the end of the night, but when I woke the next morning, I felt like I hadn’t worked at all, despite having worked a 12-hour wedding just 7 hours earlier.

Look, I know this sounds stupid, but good shoes and socks changed everything for me.

I wouldn’t have made it to over 25 years of shooting weddings without this odd wardrobe change.

Oh, and it works really well for shorter gigs, too.

Now, on to Lieutenant Dan’s second order.

…OK, I’m still working on that one.

Taking care of your feet and extending the life of your wedding career is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also give valuable tips and tales all week as Notes.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 7 Minutes]

This is one issue that keeps good photographers from becoming great wedding photographers. It’s debated by many, but usually only between amateurs vs pros.

How much editing should you put into your photos?

This debate also came up in my recent conversation with a former wedding photographer-turned-Uber driver (I talked about him in Issue 28).

One thing he didn’t regret about being a former wedding photographer was the time he spent editing each photo from his wedding. For him, every photo was meticulously touched up to perfection.

I don’t agree with this mindset or this practice.

Early in my career, I attended the big Wedding and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI) event in Las Vegas.

I was a new wedding shooter, and everything about the wedding business was new. I talked with everyone, and it probably sounded even greener than I really was, but I was learning, and that was the best part.

During one conversation with a veteran wedding photographer, I asked how long it took him to deliver the photos to the couple. “Most people take four weeks, but listen, it’s got to be within two weeks,” he said with authority. “But how is that possible?” I said incredulously. “I have hundreds of photos. I can’t edit them that fast.”

I’ll never forget that conversation because it not only changed my thinking, but it changed my business.

“Your bride doesn’t know the difference between a well-edited photo and perfectly edited photo,” was his prompt response.

If flies were buzzing in the convention center, my open mouth would have caught at least two when I heard that.

How could this be? This highly regarded professional wedding photographer does NOT edit every image they take to perfection before delivering them to their couple. I was floored.

You have to understand that this was early in the digital days. Things were not highly automated like they are now. The images that came out straight from the camera were good, but they were not great. You HAD TO work on them if they were to be ready for prime time.

“Are you now telling me ‘good’ is good enough?”

Yup, that’s what he was saying…and you know what? He was right.

Getting your photos to your couple faster is BETTER than getting them perfect. Remember The Glow?

Before you scream and call me a Photo Blasphemer, let me ask you this - Will your version of “perfect” be the same version of perfect as your couple? Probably not.

So, if your perfect is not really perfect, then WHEN should you strive for perfection?

Oh, pick me, pick me! I have an answer for that one!

Before I reveal my answer, let me hop on a chair like Hamilton and make this proclamation - Your style is YOUR style. What you deliver is a direct reflection of your unique approach to photography. Stand up for it. “If you stand for nothing, Burr, what will you fall for?” (OK, that last line was actually from Hamilton, but it works)

Your secret black-and-white recipe may be super groovy and admired by hundreds, but some folks simply won’t see what all the fuss is about.

Some may even (dare I say) hate it. And that’s just fine because photography is a form of artistic expression, and everyone likes what THEY like and hates what THEY hate.

So what should be perfect…Every. Single. Time?

Your group photos should be perfect. Your “Formals,” as I call them, should be perfect, Every. Single. Time.

The rest of the day is subjective. Sorry, but it’s true.

Your bride and groom hired you for your photographic style, your unique and artistic approach to preserving a wedding day with photos.

The edgy black and whites, the buttery soft complexion on the bridal photos - those things are cool.

The group shots aren’t exactly cool, but they are essential and admired by every member of the family who is in them, and even more so by those who weren’t.

Ever seen one of those ancestry commercials? Your group photos are a part of history. They are the official photos of record of the family members and the closest friends in attendance at your wedding. They’re what I like to call the “team photos,” and they may not be as sexy as the “game photos,” but to many, they are just as important (psst, check out more about how to shoot these in Issue #17).

And that’s why the group shots have to be perfect.

OK, fine, but I thought we were talking about editing. Don’t worry, we still are because while it’s not essential to perfectly edit every photo throughout the day, ALL the formals need to be edited perfectly. Your photo style should also shift toward the middle. Not too light, not too dark, everything should be just right.

Now, the big one.

Other than your bride and maybe the groom, people won’t appreciate the nuances of the game photos, but you want to know what kind of photo EVERYONE universally hates?

One where eyes are closed in a photo.

Can you hear them admiring your photo? “Oh, what a great group photo! That is such a perfect…wait, are my eyes closed in that one?”

Boom, moment blown. Photo fail. Sorry, thank you for playing. That one will certainly NOT make it in the album or be purchased.

I might sound a bit harsh about this, but I’m not, I promise.

I’ve heard the feedback in the days of film and I NEVER want to hear it again.

So what do you do?

When you shoot your group photos, take 3-5 of each group. Yes, they’re the same shot, but with ten or more people in a photo, the likelihood of someone blinking is rather high.

When you shoot a few, you’ll have at least one photo of everyone’s eyes open, even Mr. Blinky McBlinky in the back row.

When you’re editing your photos, if your favorite selection has a blinker, just edit their eyes with another photo using your favorite photo editing software (Do NOT use AI for this).

When you do this, your group photos, the official team photos for the wedding, have everyone looking good, properly posed, perfectly exposed, and all eyes open. Who won’t like these photos? (Besides that one person who never likes seeing themselves, but they don’t count).

Chris, this is pretty obvious, isn’t it? As a professional, isn’t this something everyone does?

I thought so. But I’ll never forget the day a fellow wedding photographer and I had lunch to chat about our businesses and trade war stories.

He pulled out a new wedding album he was about to deliver to his client. He was so proud of it. The book was beautiful. His work was inspiring, and…wait, there, in that group photo of the wedding party - one of the bridesmaids has her eyes closed!

Before I could even put my kindness filter on, I blurted out, “Her eyes are closed!” and his reply is WHY I’m writing this.

He replied blandly, “Yeah, that happens sometimes.”

Let me be so crystal clear that even Colonel Nathan R. Jessup will approve, this should NEVER happen at a time when digital editing is so easy and available!

Since that conversation, I have never assumed that something so basic, like making sure all the eyes in group photos are open, is something every photographer does.

Since then, I now compete against the careless by making my workflow a selling point for the couples I meet.

“Your group photos will be perfect because I know though they might not be the favorite part of the day, they are one of the most important parts of the day, and they should be perfect.”

That line woos the moms Every. Single. Time.

When I shifted my workflow toward delivering faster and making sure the BEST moments were perfect, my business grew.

Now I was able to deliver my weddings in one week (take that veteran wedding pro), make my brides extremely happy, and dedicate more time to perfecting all of the selections for their wedding books or special orders.

And the faster I got at editing, the better I got, which raised the bar even higher in my work with no more time invested. That never would’ve happened if I’d still been trying to make 750 perfect photos for each wedding.

This scenario is a great example of what I call the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also give valuable tips and tales all week as Notes.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 6 Minutes]

So, is it possible to be TOO prepared when shooting a wedding?

No.

Well, that was a short issue! I suppose I should elaborate a bit on WHY you can’t be too prepared.

I’ll give you three good reasons.

#1 It’s not over until it’s over. This is the same mentality when shooting baseball, football, or any sporting event. Until the buzzer sounds, the third out is made, or the clock runs out, the game is still on (and sometimes even after the game is over).

Let’s define our terms.

The “game” is the wedding day. If you’re shooting a wedding and the bride and groom are still there, the game is still on. Never pack up your gear until the game is over.

Now, a quick caveat - You’ve negotiated a set amount of time, and your time is up for the night.

You can leave AFTER you check in with the bride and groom, then the parents and have thanked them all. Once all parties KNOW you’re leaving the wedding, you can leave. Until you do this, the game or wedding is still on.

Who knows. They might want you to stay the rest of the night, they might want you to stay another hour for some group photos, or they might want something else. Don’t fret, this means they want to give you more money.

It’s your job to be prepared for this. Don’t be too hot to head out, and don’t ever make plans to meet up with friends after a wedding.

There are way too many variables at play, and your first concern is for your couple.

Being prepared means being ready for something to happen, ANYTHING. When you’re shooting a wedding, EXPECT someone to ask for something more...even at the moment you’re ready to clock out.

#2 Bad things happen to good people. I found this out a few times, unfortunately (and yes, I do consider myself a good person, in case you’re wondering).

This is the A-#1, Most Important, Super-Special reason for having backup gear. They are tools, and sometimes your tools break.

I’ve never met a bride I could walk up to and say, “Sooo, bad news, my camera broke. I’m sure this would’ve been fun, but I gotta go now. Thanks!” without expecting some significant pushback.

Nope, you gotta be prepared for the worst, and sometimes the worst thing is your tools break. Wipe the tear from your eye, grab your backup and keep going.

Having backup gear may seem obvious, but especially when you’re starting out, this is a valuable sales benefit to a bride on a budget.

I’ve heard more than a couple of stories about photographers who didn’t have enough backup gear and had to scramble. Don’t be that person. Be prepared and act like the professional you are. No one like to scramble.

#3 Skate to where the puck is going, not where it has been. Wayne Gretzky isn’t considered the greatest hockey player ever because he has great reflexes. He knows the importance of preparation.

Like all sports, you need to anticipate what is going to happen next if you want to do your best right now. To do this, you keep your eyes open and be ready to point your camera in the direction where things are moving. It takes practice but you do this so you can get the shot when it actually happens. I’ll give you a great example.

It’s the first dance, and you have a pretty good idea the groom is going to perform a world-class dip at the end of the song. How do you know? Because you were prepared and asked the groom if he was planning anything special for the first dance (it’s quite the thing on TikTubigram if you’re into that social media thing).

He said he’s been practicing this epic dip with his bride-to-be for weeks and tonight will be the big reveal.

OK, now you’ve got a couple of nuggets to work with. There will probably be a dip, and it will either be as epic as they hope...or it’ll crash and burn. Both are important because even they flub, they’ll probably laugh and that makes for great photos too.

It’s time for the dance. The song is playing and nearing the end. How do you know? Because you’ve heard it before (you prepared and didn’t even know it!) OR You don’t know the song, and you ask the DJ how long it is (also a good way to be prepared).

Here comes the big moment...but something isn’t right.

Your keen sense of timing (like a Spidey-sense, only for wedding photographers) can sense that the pace of your newlyweds’ turns on the dance floor does not sync the the end of the song.

If the song ended where you are currently standing, you’ll be out of position to capture the big moment. (Hint: no one wants to see the dip from behind.)

If you’ve been simply “following the puck,” you’d be in the wrong position, and you’d miss the moment the couple has been preparing for for weeks.

So what would a prepared photographer do?

You watch the couple, you listen to the music, and you move, then move, and move again, positioning yourself for the perfect shot. You’re moving to get a front-row view of the big dip, and then, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, you nail the shot like a seasoned pro.

That’s what preparing is all about.

But wait, there’s more!

As a bonus preparation tip, try this.

Do a quick search and find out what’s in a Bridal Survival Pack or Bridal Emergency Kit, and add the most essential pieces to your camera bag.

“What?!!! keep a sewing kit in my camera bag?”

Yuuup! It’s sad but true. Not every bride gets one of those survival kits for her wedding day.

But YOUR bride gets a prepared photographer, and when a seam pops on her dress or something gets torn, and YOU are the only one with the supplies to fix it, all of a sudden, YOU look like a genius...because you are...a prepared genius!

Here’s a quick list of essential items you should have in your bag that won’t take up hardly any space at all.

• Crochet hook - For lacing up the button hooks on dresses (SUPER PRO)

• Heel pads - Some ladies don’t wear heels often and get blisters

• Band-aids - For you or them, whoever needs them first.

• Sewing kit - Next time you’re at a hotel, ask for one and pop it into your bag

• A quarter - For tightening or loosening screws

• An old penny - Brides are sentimental, and sometimes they forget theirs for their shoe

• Bobby pins and Safety Pins - Faster than sewing

• Double-sided, hypoallergenic adhesive for skin - Also known as “boob tape”

• Small scissors - I keep a small Leatherman multi-tool that also includes a knife

• Tide or Shout wipes - The to-go versions are perfect

All of this will fit nicely into one of the small flat pockets in your camera case. You won’t even know they’re there...until you hear that call, “Does anyone have some scissors?” And guess who will be the prepared one? (Hint: they’ll be the one that looks exactly like you)

If you’re still wondering why being prepared matters, let me leave you with this.

Brides talk. Bridesmaids talk. Wedding day stories become something like lore or an iconic anecdote and if one of these historic tales involves you, the wedding photographer, saving the day because of something you had in your wedding bag, that is what they call a story of legend…and bountiful referrals.

Being prepared for the unexpected is just one part of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also give valuable tips and tales all week as Notes.

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Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

I was reading a newsletter from a legendary copywriter this week.

He told a story about copywriting, but I couldn’t help but translate it to the world of wedding photography or any service-based business, for that matter.

His story is about a mentor of his who revealed a secret when he was struggling to build his business. Here’s a mildly edited version with the part about Copywriting replaced with Wedding Photography.

“I call it a ‘secret’ because it’s precisely that.

Most service providers truly don’t know or understand this simple fact.

And many of those who do know the secret ignore it, because it clashes with their view of the way the world should work.

But I’m not interested in the way the world should work. I’m interested in the way it does work.

And the way the world works ... at least when it comes to the way people buy services...is the harsh reality that this principle reveals.

Within a year of discovering this secret, sales of my Wedding Photography services more than doubled ... and within two years, were more than triple my first year’s earnings.

Here’s the secret he told me that day, decades ago:

‘It’s all well and good that you provide clients with quality service. But so do a lot of your competitors.’

‘The fact is this: those who make the most money selling their services in any field are not necessarily the best at their profession or craft...they are the best at MARKETING and SELLING their services to others.’

What this means is that it’s not enough to be good or even great at what you do.”

I learned this lesson when I started many years ago and I honestly didn’t know how powerful this was and how level the playing field became until I embraced it fully.

Photography is not unlike other creative endeavors. Painters, writers, musicians, and artists of every kind, in every medium, since the beginning of history, have competed for their share of recognition and fame in their creative space.

I can easily imagine Neanderthals fighting over who created the best cave drawings.

But the very moment art and artistry became revered, they also became valued and thusly, something to profit from. I think you understand the history lesson, so let’s talk about what this means to you.

You may be a brilliant photographer, or you may be amazingly average.

It does not matter.

What matters is how you position and market your wedding photography to your prospective brides (Note I said “your” and not every)

Now, for the photographic purists, this statement may sound blasphemous. “Of course, only best photographers command the best rates!” And to that, I say respectfully,

“Well, that depends on what you consider The Best.”

Have you ever seen a priceless painting that you hate? I have. I’ve also seen some terrible photography regarded as brilliant. So who’s right?

The person PAYING for the work is right.

You’ve heard the line, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? I agree, but I also think Value is in the eye of the buyer. That doesn’t sound as sexy though does it?

Folks much smarter than I am have repeatedly said,

People buy with emotion and justify their purchase with logic.

Value is a mixture of both emotion AND logic - ask anyone who pays six figures for a car why they paid that much, and you’ll see.

This is a very important thing to recognize when you are selling your work.

Another equally important thing is to ask yourself, “How can my wedding photography be positioned uniquely so I have no competition?”

It’s not an easy one to answer, but this is where YOUR positioning comes in.

OR you can not answer and take an easier path.

If your work is good and your prices are below the market average, you’ll book brides. Guaranteed.

I consider this to be the middle-of-the-road approach.

You may not get rich, and you may not make enough to become a full-time wedding photographer, but you’ll book brides and make some money.

You may call it a “side-hustle approach” if that makes you feel better, and that’s fine. Again, you won’t make a living, but you’ll make some money.

I get it, you’re modest.

You’ve accepted the reality that you’re not the best photographer (and you’ve never claimed to be.) You’re also not the most expensive photographer, so you will get clients who are (more than likely) shopping on price first and quality second.

They’re Value-Shopping and, as Jerry Seinfeld would say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

If you want to make a living from your photography however, you must make some hard decisions.

You have to position your work and your services to match the lifestyle you want for your business.

From an economic perspective, I recommend starting with your COGS, factoring in your desired profit, and dividing by the number of weddings you want to shoot in a year. That’s basis business stuff, though.

For the bigger question, “How can my wedding photography be positioned uniquely so I have no competition?”

Remember that modified quote from above? The answer is in there.

The power of marketing…and marketing well will pull you apart from your competition, IF you have “the goods.”

Want to be a great photographer who commands top prices in your market?

You need to walk the walk (as in BE a great photographer) and talk the talk (as in POSITION your work as a premium product).

Your marketing will help you talk the talk, and how you position yourself will help you walk the walk.

Trust me, if you’re NOT, The Market will tell everyone, but if you’re good, there’s no reason you cannot be The Best for YOUR brides.

I know the purists hate to hear that. You’ve heard of “starving artists?” Those are the ones who refused to embrace marketing and positioning in the sales process.

That does NOT have to be you.

You CAN make a profit from your passion.

Feeling a bit forlorn right now because you love photography and hate the thought of all that sales & marketing stuff?

Try reading Start with Why by Simon Sinek. It’ll get you started on the right foot.

Want more? Keep reading this free newsletter and get targeted, educating and motivating information on how to master the inner game of weddings and become a professional wedding photographer.

Good information, combined with action, builds confidence every single time.

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Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 5 Minutes]

This issue is a bit different.

For those who enjoy my poetic waxing about dealing with drunks, bridezillas and making guys look cool at weddings...sorry.

We live in a digital world, and when I started shooting weddings, we did not, at least as far as photography went.

Film cameras, printed proofs, and wedding albums were the norm.

Now we have digital cameras, online photo galleries, and phones that shoot photos, video, and serve as a mobile showcase for favorites.

I don’t have any problem with technology and its advances, but there is one area of wedding photography that rises above tech and tenaciously touches tradition.

The Wedding Album

As I describe to my couples, “This is your best of the best collection of favorite images telling the story of your day. This is what you share with everyone who ask about your wedding day. This is what you show your kids, and if there’s a fire, this is what you’ll grab…after your kids are safe.”

I love these albums. I call them Wedding Books because they are books, and it sounds cooler than “wedding album.”

As a wedding photographer, there are some great reasons to add these to your collection of photo services when meeting with brides.

• Tremendous value to the couple

• Huge return for the parents (THEY get something)

• Easy to sell (though not everyone can afford it)

• A huge deal closer if used as an add-on

• Additional copies can be printed for venue samples (HUGE)

• Fantastic upsell potential (sell small and let them expand AFTER the wedding)

• Albums can be purchased long after the wedding for great residual income

• The couple chooses the photos, so you don’t have to, BUT…

• You can “gift” extra images to your couple and look like a hero

• Books can include rehearsal and wedding for the full wedding experience

• You can sell multiple volumes

• These are the best samples you can show at a meetings or wedding shows

• These are neither easy nor inexpensive to make (ie. business opportunity)

• Wedding Books are THE heirloom of the wedding day

This last one is the biggest because that’s how I like to sell this to my couples.

There’s no pressure to sell a Wedding Book.

Just show these books when you meet and let them picture their wedding without one. EVERY bride wants one, but not every couple can afford it. That’s OK, because in a year, this will make a fantastic first anniversary or Christmas gift.

Today’s books are different from the wedding album my wife and I own (and yes, it was definitely an “album” with white leather, gold metal page corners, gold letters that said “Our Wedding,” and all the photos were taped into square mats).

Today’s books are cool yet classic. Personalized and timeless with a look and feel that will be as amazing today as it will be in twenty years.*

You’re probably familiar with them, so I’ll show you one of my designs that is a classic example of a full wedding (prep / church / ceremony / reception / dancing / farewell) with each image as a two-page spread in a 10x10in Wedding Book

As the gurus like to say, “I don’t show these to impress you but to impress upon you” the importance of offering Wedding Books in your wedding business.

If you’re impressed, thanks. The bride and groom cherish their Wedding Book, and that’s what matters the most.

Believe it or not, many wedding photographers choose NOT to offer these, and that’s a mistake for them and and opportunity for you.

As I mentioned, these are not easy to make, nor are they cheap. The cost is high because the quality is high and the value is higher.

These need to be priced accordingly, and they will be treated accordingly.

As for the design process, it can be tedious because, if done correctly, the story has a flow that is completely personalized using the couple’s chosen photos. It’s not simply a drag and drop into boxes process.

Good news, many of the album companies offer design services with their production.

Better news, I love designing these, and I’d be happy to design yours for you.

* There are many amazing album companies using the latest technology to create books on archival paper and cover materials that will last for generations.

The design and style of your photography, however, will determine how “dated” these books will be.

Just a subtle heads-up if you’re considering stretching your digital design and creative retouching muscles.

The Wedding Books are one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

They’re married!

For months, your couple has been planning this historic day, and it’s official!

The ceremony just ended, and we have newlyweds in the house. Now it’s time for what everyone has been waiting for...The Reception!

We have just one more requisite item on the agenda before we can lose the jacket, hit the bar and dance floor (usually in that order).

The First Dance

“The first dance is the traditional opening of a wedding reception where the newly married couple dances together alone for the first time as spouses. It serves as a symbolic expression of their unity and partnership as they begin their life together.” Thanks, Google AI.

For the wedding photographer, it’s something bigger...and no, I’m not being dramatic.

If you’ve ever looked through a couple’s wedding photos, this moment holds a featured place in the story of the day.

This is the transition point that takes us from BEFORE the wedding to AFTER the wedding. It lasts three and a half minutes, and it’s one of the most important parts of the day.

Quick Sidebar - Not every couple has a first dance at their wedding. Some don’t want to be the “center of attention” (this is my favorite laughable excuse), and others don’t like to dance at all. That’s fine.

We’ll stick to the more traditional couples who DO embrace this wedding day ritual.

For those who do eschew the customary dance, I will always ask them if they might consider dancing during a slow song with everyone else. These are great photos, and they really make the story of this day special, so if you can make it happen, it’ll be good for everyone.

Two Schools of Dance

Your couple will choose one of two types of dances for their first dance together - The Choreographed or The Freestyle.

The Choreographed dance has been rehearsed. The Freestyle probably has not.

The big thing to note here is FIND OUT WHICH ONE IS HAPPENING.

The Freestyle is easier because it’s just your couple swaying back and forth and turning slowly.

The Choreographed version is structured so you not only have to keep up with the many twists and twirls, but also focus on getting natural expressions.

Your couple has been practicing something new for weeks to be performed live in front of everyone. They’ll be nervous, and they’ll look like they’re trying to remember every step. YOU have to make them good, and that means finding that little smile or laugh between the mental gymnastics they’re going through.

IMPORTANT NOTE: No matter which version they decide on, ask the groom if there’s a big finish like a dip. You want to make sure you’re in the right position to get a great photo of it. (and it is a great photo!)

On with the show!

Now, there’s a lot of little pieces to this puzzle, so rather than dump the whole box out on ya, I’m going to bullet these out. Take the bullets you like, and load ‘em in your gun. Leave the rest... don’t forget the cannolis.

• You need to shoot a lot of photos during this dance - wide, medium, closeups

• Pretend this is the only time your couple will be this close like this all night long, and you need these photos

• Focus on faces! They might not look at each other, so be ready when they do.

• Move, move, move. Get lots of angles

• Look at your background - frame them nicely

• Vary your shot types.

WIDE SHOTS - Vertical

• Head to toe, so you see the full dress

• Be patient and get them turning. The back of the dress is just as important as the front (sometimes more)

• Go really wide and show off the cool ceiling or lights

WIDE SHOTS - Horizontal

• Position your couple on the far side of the frame so you can see the expressions of the parents and friends

• Move around - each five shift creates a whole new scene - move the couple on one side, then the other.

• This is a great shot for the wedding album.

MEDIUM SHOTS - Vertical

• Now you can pay attention to the expressions - as your couple turns, watch how they look at each other - this is the really good stuff.

• There’s some real magic between the wide and closeup shots, so again, be patient and shoot plenty.

MEDIUM SHOTS - Horizontal

• Here’s where you dance. Watch the couple, their expressions and focus on the parent and siblings in the background. You can see their expressions, and they are priceless.

• Keep moving! You can get the couple so many cool backgrounds (the band, groovy lights, friends)

CLOSEUP SHOTS - Vertical

• Use this to capture details of the dress (perhaps with the groom’s hands around her waist).

• Look for great expressions. This close framing is made for one face, so when you see it, shoot it!

CLOSEUP SHOTS - Horizontal

• In my opinion, this is where you’ll get some of your most intimate and memorable shots.

• Your couple locking eyes with each other, the bride’s newly ringed finger on the neck of her groom.

• Hand holding hand, the shoes, the hair, the dress details - So many details.

I know I mentioned this earlier, but let me reiterate - This dance happens fast. You’ve got to the end of the song to get as many great shots as possible - Wide, Medium and Closeups from every angle you can get to.

Do this right, and you’ll feel like you juggled a basket of kittens while playing the piano and doing a riverdance, but the results are going to be fantastic!

If you have a second shooter, give them the longer 70-200mm for this and tell them to get great expressions.

This will free you up to focus on wide and medium shots and to look for creative ways to use them in the wedding album.

Insider Advice

Talk to the band or DJ to find out what the first dance song is and how long it is.

If you’re familiar with it, you’ll know when it ends and can put yourself in a good position for the dip or big kiss (there’s always a big kiss).

You can also talk to the planner or coordinator at the reception and find out any details you don’t know.

Speaking of not knowing, when you chat with your bride at the beginning of the week before the wedding, this is a good time to ask questions about the reception.

• Is the B&G coming straight into The First Dance?

• Is The First Dance later, after dinner?

• Will there be any special singer for The First Dance?

All of these details will help you be prepared for the most intense and most rewarding 3.5 minutes of the day.

Final Tip

Have fun during this dance. You’re doing your own little dance with your moving and shooting and it is work, but it’s also fun. Everyone is watching the couple and they’re watching you so let the joy you’re experiencing show.

Photographing The First Dance is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 7 Minutes]

This is somewhat of a personal preference, and I fully understand if you don’t want to entertain this. I don’t fault anyone for being wrong :)

When you’re shooting the guys, your focus is to make ‘em look cool, period.

Why?

For starters, most guys really don’t want their photos taken anyway.

Maybe it’s just me and the 500+ weddings I’ve shot, but I have yet to see a group of groomsmen genuinely excited about getting photos of themselves.

But of course, you gotta take ‘em, so just know that the dudes are not going to be super stoked about this part of the wedding ritual.

How can you turn this into a good experience?

You guessed it, you make ‘em look cool.

That’s exactly right, you put the guys at ease and even enjoy this process by making them look cool during this part of the day.

How?

• Make them feel cool right off the bat

• Tell them how good they look (most guys feel uncomfortable wearing someone else’s “monkey suit,” so this helps)

• Have a game plan

• Try to avoid anything goofy or campy

• Make it fast

You’re probably not going to have a pre-wedding meeting with the groom, so I’d recommend having a strategy for guys in advance.

Your goal is to assemble the guys in a cool, casual way, perhaps even something fun in case they want to play (this is your game plan part).

If you’re pretty new to this, take a look at some men’s magazines...no, not THOSE men’s magazines! Something like GQ, Esquire or The Rake will work.

You’re looking for style and fashion, but specifically how the guys modeling the clothes are posed.

If they look cool, grab a screenshot. Now imagine getting something this cool for your group of guys, and you’re ready.

You might also troll some wedding sites and see what the interwebs have to offer.

Sometimes, though very rare, the groom might have something in mind. Perhaps a little throwback to the college or high school days. It’s not a bad idea to toss in a little, “Hey, [groom], did you have anything in mind for the shots with your guys, or should we just keep this quick and painless?”

Let them know they are important and they’ll respect the job you have to do.

They all understand…they may not love this part, but they understand.

So let’s take some photos!

When it comes to shooting all of them together, you have a couple of options - a formal lineup or a stylized posse. If you want to do both, cool! Both are fine, but you still have to make them look good.

The Lineup is an essential core shot that moms want. The Posse is great if you have a cool place to shoot and show off in the photos.

The Lineup

Don’t get fancy here. When it’s 103 degrees outside, and there’s nowhere nice to shoot indoors, this is a solid way to go. The key is to keep them close (no gaps).

I prefer to stagger them so they look nice and packed in, but they don’t feel like they’re stacked on top of each other (any gaps in this shot and they look like strangers).

Position them with a subtle angle, and everyone looks tidy and cohesive (”Tidy & cohesive,” Isn’t that what every guy likes to think of themselves?).

What you have here is your basic lineup of soldiers. Nothing more.

Hands are always a concern. What do the guys do with their hands?

You have four options (IMO).

1. The Dead Arms

2. The Fig Leaf

3. The Soldier

4. The Pockets.

To offer some verbal visualization, you have (1) hands hanging straight down, (2) hands in front overlapping below the belt, (3) hands behind their back, and lastly, (4) their hands in their pant pockets.

If your goal is to make ‘em look cool, you really only have one option - The Pockets

As a bonus, since the majority of rental suits don’t fit properly, putting those paws in the pockets covers up the overly long or overly short sleeves.

BTW, no one ever notices this unless you’re doing the Dead Arms, and everyone notices a poorly fitting jacket.

The Stylized Posse

Here you’re going to draw on your GQ poses for inspiration. Your dudes are going to be clustered up but not too close.

Each guy gets his own space and his own pose. You still don’t want any big gaps, so instead of side-by-side, they’ll still stagger but a bit looser this time.

The trick here is in the assembly process. Some are slightly up, and some are further back.

Of course, I don’t have to mention that the groom is the coolest of the bunch, so he gets prime positioning in the center and perhaps a bit closer up.

Don’t get too linear for this. Switch up the angles. Maybe you have something for a guy or two to lean on. Perhaps there’s a fence or something else. Think of this as an environmental portrait.

But what’s the key thing to focus on? That’s right!

Make the guys look cool!

And then, if you’re feeling brave, once you get that shot, you can put it into motion.

Have the guys start walking and talking to each other. If there’s a brother, a best man, or both, have the groom focus on those guys so you can see their faces.

If you do decide to go for the “walk and talk,” put that camera into motor drive and blaze away.

I don’t recommend doing this more than once. The first time will have genuine smiles as they play along, but if you repeat it, they’ll start to feel awkward, and it’ll show.

BONUS POSE: Bro Love

Since you’ve got them all together, bring ‘em in for a little Bro Love. Nothing weird, just a nice brotherly group up with arms on shoulders.

Quick note - unbutton the jackets for this one. When their arms go up, a buttoned jacket bunches up and looks weird and “weird” is not what we’re shooting for here.

I prefer to add this quickly right after The Lineup to loosen things up, even if I don’t do the stylized shot.

I’ll say something like, “OK, let’s give [groom] a little love,” and boom, the guys make it happen. If the group of guys has a tight bond, this could be a really special shot.

Occasionally, there’s some inappropriate groping behind their backs, which makes for some genuinely funny reactions.

This does NOT have to take long, and it shouldn’t.

The guys understand the need for these shots, but unless you’re really good at keeping them interested, I wouldn’t push any boundaries here. Cheesy is cheesy, and nothing brings back an uncomfortable moment quite like seeing the photos a week later and remembering HOW uncomfortable that moment really was.

And that’s the BTS of shooting the guys and making them look cool.

So now you’re probably asking, “Why do I need to go through all this trouble if the guys don’t care anyway?”

Fair question, and I got your equally fair answer, but first, a question for you.

Will the guys ever see these photos? The answer is, of course, YES, and when they do, they’ll say to themselves, “Dude, I look pretty cool!” and who do you think they’ll consider for their wedding?

Wait, almost forgot!

Posing the dudes using Paws in the Pocket™ method isn’t just for their group photos. Use this for the guys for all photos, even at the reception. And yes, this goes especially for the groom. Never, I repeat NEVER let the groom hold the flowers with the bride!

Your goal is to make them cool and that’s your biggest responsibility to the groom and groomsmen. A guy with his paws in his pocket can’t help but look cool!

Photographing the guys and making them look cool is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography.

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

“The machines are coming for the high-wage, high-skill jobs as well.”

– Martin Ford, The Rise of the Robots

I was on a recent trip to California and had a very interesting chat with my Uber driver as we headed from the airport to my hotel.

After some brief intros, I discovered he was a former wedding photographer.

We were both about the same age and had shot about the same number of weddings, but there was one big difference between us - besides the obvious fact that I had camera gear next to me and he was driving the car to my hotel.

“Brides have just changed so much and all this AI is killing photography.”

Hmm, interesting. I probed.

I’ll call our former wedding photographer “Cameron,” just to give him a name.

Cam was clearly disgruntled, though he had accepted his current situation with a fair amount of grace.

He was a musician and artist, and now had the time to pursue these creative outlets more. He no longer had to worry about all those brides, those long hours shooting, those longer hours editing and making money doing what he loved.

While I understood his issues with the changing landscape of bridal expectations, it was the AI part that perked my ears.

I started in photography before digital cameras. I saw first-hand the massive impact they had on photographers and their businesses. Some died, some survived, and some thrived.

Don’t call me callous, but whether they died, survived, or thrived was the photographer’s choice.

It was a supply-and-demand situation at its core, and supply increased significantly with the introduction of digital cameras to the market. Many photographers couldn’t handle the “competition,” so they bowed out.

I understood this reaction. I didn’t agree with it, but I understood it. The photographers who saw the shift as a marketing opportunity, however, thrived.

This is what I see with the introduction of AI into wedding photography.

For Cameron, the future doesn’t look bright - it looks artificial and contrived. He sees a decline in the craft of photography and AI cutting into his business somehow. Cam is missing the opportunities.

AI will NEVER replace wedding photographers.

Some may see this as a bold statement. I do not.

There’s an opportunity here to make the photographer more valuable than ever…if you’re willing to embrace what may seem scary. I want you to see this for what it really is…a tool.

“AI is the dumbest, most willing, talented, confident, patient and available intern you’ll ever have.” – Me

This is exactly how I describe AI to the college students I teach. It may be ready and willing, but it knows nothing about your wants and especially the wants and desires of a bride and groom…and does not care (ie, it feels nothing).

Oh sure, it may “think” it knows because it can scan the entire internet and gather data from people’s words, but let’s be honest, no heart = no mind.

Of course, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of AI is ChatGPT, but there are plenty of other “learning models” out there. If you’re an average writer who aspires to nothing more than being an average writer, AI will probably be coming to take your job.

If you’re a wedding photographer, AI is coming to help make your life easier.

Here are 4 reasons AI will NEVER replace you as a wedding photographer.

1. AI, at the moment, has no physical presence.

This might change with the advent of robots, but for now, this reality makes it rather difficult to attend an actual wedding or reception. OK, let’s be serious though.

2. No one connects and communicates with your couple better than you.

Wedding photography is about building trust with couples and understanding their desires for this day. AI can’t FEEL, and it can’t replicate the essential human connection needed to make clients feel at ease.

Oh, and did someone mention relationships? Try building a long-term, personal relationship with your phone or laptop. It didn’t work for Joaquin Phoenix in the movie Her, and it won’t work for your couple. You build and earn trust - you don’t buy it or download it.

3. The moments you capture are real

Sure, a bride can AI generate a photo of herself and her handsome groom on the precipice of a sun-drenched vista in San Juan (I assume they have something like that there), but it won’t be real. It’ll be cool, but there won’t be any “Do you remember that moment” in that artificially generated image. YOU get to deliver moments that preserve a memory.

There are emotions in moments, and a wedding day is filled with a LOT of moments. Each moment is a little slice of THEIR story, and you get to help preserve that for them.

4. The wedding day IS the experience

Someone brilliant once said, “You don’t buy a wedding, you assemble it from a hundred small, personally selected pieces with your signature on them.”

Ask any bride, and she tell you everything about her day...in every small, meaningful detail.

Every wedding is uniquely personal, and your presence becomes a part of it. Just like family and friends, every person lends themselves to making this day one of a kind. AI simply cannot do that.

When the ring bearer trips and tosses the little pillow, when one of the groomsmen drinks a bit too much and shows everyone how good of a dancer he really is, or when the bride throws the groom the cutest little glance during the ceremony - THIS is what a wedding is about, and there’s 0% artificially generated content here.

Your photographic style, your special brand of guest interaction, and your legendary care and consideration for your couple and the family are all part of what makes this day special and 100% real.

Of course, this all sounds a bit ridiculous, but trust me, someone right now is trying to figure out how to build an AI camera bot to take photos at a wedding.

It’ll be all fun and games until someone who has downed one too many Gin Rickeys grabs the bot and tries to have some fun with it.

“OK, Chris, I get it, AI can’t replace me, but how can it help me?”

I’m glad you asked.

Here are 3 big ways AI can help you build your wedding photography business.

1. AI photo editing is surprisingly good and getting better

There are AI tools that can help with your editing and photo processing, allowing you to get your photos to your clients faster.

I mentioned back in Issue #12 the importance of The Glow. Getting your processing done faster will help you deliver the photos to your couple while they are still in The Glow, making you look like the hero you are. AI can help make that happen.

2. AI is a really good retoucher

Photobombing mishap? Poof, they’re gone. An unfortunate wrinkle in the maid of honor’s dress? Poof, it’s gone too.

There are many ways AI can streamline your retouching faster than you can. Why poo-poo this fantastic feature? Incorporate this into your system and get things done faster.

3. AI marketing is a real thing

Using AI for inspiration with marketing or creative idea generation is fun, for lack of a more colorful adjective, and surprisingly helpful if I’m being kind to my dumb intern.

I’ve also seen some new, more efficient AI CRM tools that will certainly become industry standards very soon.

The bottom line? AI isn’t your competition - it’s a tool to enhance your business.

Nothing will replace the craftsmanship, artistry, authenticity, love, and genuine human touch you provide to your clients.

Brides hire you because of YOU. Embrace your work and your special approach to photographing weddings, and you’ll never have to worry about the robots coming to take your job.

As long as you’re not a robot yourself or a stockholder in Skynet, the future looks bright.

Helping you fight off the robots of creativity is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting out and haven’t quite figured out to how to handle the hundreds or even thousands of photos from an event, I’ve created something special to help you with the organization.

It’s a guide to help you process a wedding in one week and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use it to this day. Don’t spend weeks trying to process and missing out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

A photographer’s style is their aesthetic, their look and their signature.

From a visual standpoint, it’s the first thing a bride looks for when choosing a photographer. When they see work that connects with them, they can almost see themselves in that photo.

Of course, this initial attraction is a lot like dating or shopping for a car.

You might love the car from the outside, but once you get behind the wheel, something doesn’t feel right.

He might look cute from across the room, but then he opens his mouth...

Judging might not be appropriate for some things, but when you’re selecting the person to take photos of you on the biggest day of your life, and you’re prepared to pay them thousands of dollars, first impressions are not only huge, they MATTER.

Your photographic style matters…but differently than how you may think.

Now, first off, when I say “style,” I don’t mean editing style. That’s different.

The treatment or “special sauce” you add to your photos when you process is like the color palette you prefer to paint with.

Some like vibrant colors, others muted pastels. Some dark and moody, others bright and high key.

Not to confuse the issue, but that is also a part of your look. What I’m referring to is about your shooting style before you process.

I’m talking about the way you shoot.

Despite what some may say, there are really two main styles of wedding photography, and though you may choose to be flexible and play both ways, your portfolio will quickly show which camp you’re in.

Let’s keep it simple.

You’re either a Posed Photographer or a Candid Photographer (unposed).

If you’re reading any bridal magazine, you’ll see more colorful categories, and here’s how to define them.

• Editorial - Posed

• Documentary - Candid

• Traditional - Posed

• Photojournalistic - Candid

• Fine Art - Posed

• Lifestyle - Candid

Don’t worry, there’s not one that’s better than the other. Both styles are effective and popular and marketable. The takeaway here is about you and how you want to be seen by your brides.

Full disclosure, I’m a wedding photojournalist, so when I sell myself to my bride and groom, I’m selling MY candid style to them. I do not sell a posed style.

I do get asked quite often, “Do you shoot more traditional and group photos as well?” and to that I say, “Absolutely.”

The difference is how I treat the rest of the day. You may have different questions asked of you if you choose to shoot with a more posed style.

If you’re going to be a success in any endeavor, you must be true to yourself and to your way of creating.

When I started, there was only one style of wedding photography - Posed.

If you got married before 1997, most likely, your wedding photos were all posed unless you were lucky enough to have an artsy friend take candid photos of you.

I worked for two photographers in the 90s who created beautiful wedding photos and were loved by their clients, but as a photographer, I saw things differently. I loved documentary films, and when I shot my first two very small weddings, I shot the way I wanted, candid.

Then I met Denis Reggie, the guy who coined the term Wedding Photojournalism, and everything changed.

As I watched him display his photos to a group of professional photographers, most scoffed and said things like, “This isn’t how you shoot weddings.”

But I saw his photos, heard the term “Wedding Photojournalism,” and said, “THIS is what I do!”

When I moved to my new home in the Midwest a few months later, I brought my new, candid style of wedding photography with me, and it was very different from what other wedding photographers were doing (call me a trailblazer!)

These days, wedding photography is less “regulated” by style, and anything goes.

You get to decide what YOU want to do and how your work is represented.

There are a LOT of different brides with a LOT of different tastes, and the good news is that you don’t have to shoot them all. You only have to shoot the weddings that connect with your style.

I’ve attended dozens of wedding shows, and I can tell you with 100% accuracy that my style did not connect with every bride there.

This is also awesome news because we’re not even talking about price at this point - it’s about style.

Your photographic approach will be loved by many if you are true to yourself, and sell your style and what it means to you and your couples.

There are tremendous benefits to the way you shoot - posed or candid. It all comes down to how you sell your work.

Don’t be afraid to be bold and conform to the “way it’s always been done.” And absolutely DO NOT change what you do for a bride who wants something different. This will only hurt you both.

One of the hardest things I had to do in my wedding career happened when meeting a TV personality who wanted me to shoot her wedding.

She was beautiful, everyone knew her, and it would’ve been a big deal to my career as I was just starting out and still working a day job.

She loved my work and wanted to fly me to Chicago for her wedding. During our initial meeting, however, she said something that would ultimately be a deal-breaker.

While I was describing my hands-off style, she told me how important it was to look perfect in every shot.

“If you need to jump in during the first dance or another important moment to make sure so I look perfect, that’s what I want you to do.”

For a photographer with a posed style, this would have been perfect - A bride who is giving me a license to create the perfect shot.

For me, I simply couldn’t make this promise. It’s not who I am and how I work. I want my bride to look amazing but I won’t sacrifice an emotional moment to fix a hair.

I had to say no to Chicago, no to the guest list that would have been impressive and filled with referrals, and no to the beautiful bride.

But as hard as that was, I knew I did the right thing.

She wanted something I could not give her, and rather than disappoint her on the greatest day of her life (or pretend and be someone I’m not), I chose to let a professional photographer who would be more attentive to perfect posing take this one, even during the first dance (yikes).

So the moral of this story is to adopt a style that is your own - posed or candid, and to sell what makes you and your work amazing.

Haven’t shot many weddings? That’s OK because YOU know what your style is and YOU know how you’re going to make your bride look amazing, and THAT is what you’re going to sell.

Trust me, it’s easier to let your passion pour out when you’re honest with yourself and your brides. It’ll show in your work.

Show and sell with integrity, and you’ll make a fantastic connection to the brides who love your work and your style of creating.

Choosing your photography style is essential to your success, and THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

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I know it’s a semi-silly question to ask, but it’s also tough to answer easily and succinctly.

For new or aspiring wedding photographers, it’s a very important question to ask, especially if you haven’t attended many weddings.

Of course, you’re familiar with the basics (bride, groom, etc). I’m guessing you’re curious about the “other things.” Let’s start with this:

The wedding day is a special day filled with emotions - LOTS of emotions from many different people.

Many people attending the wedding are simply guests. Some people have a special role in the wedding, and some people play a very special part.

Everyone is important.

Of course, there’s happiness and joy, that’s the primary emotion, but there can also be some sadness, uncertainty, often anxiety and perhaps even fear.

I start with the emotional part because that’s the part new photographers often overlook and find out the hard way how powerful this is.

A wedding day starts very early and usually ends very late. This adds to some of the emotion because, by the end of the day, most folks are pretty spent - both mentally and physically and often a bit “lubricated.”

Three quick things to remember:

• This is a day that’s been planned for many months

• This is a day that’s been hoped for and anticipated for years

• This is a day that is expected to be perfect in every...single...way. *

A wedding day is a series of smaller events smooshed together into one big, fantastic event. It’s like an amusement park.

There are some big rides and some smaller rides. There’s food and entertainment along with costumed characters, dancing and revelry (a fancy word for partying). And it’s all under one big tent called The Wedding Day!

And then there’s you, the humble yet capable wedding photographer, right in the middle of everything being paid to photograph everything, all while trying to figure out ISO, f-stops and shutter speeds of every lighting situation (of which there are many) while attempting to find and capture that perfect shot at the perfect moment (of which there are also many).

Did I mention anxiety yet?

There is a LOT going on for everyone, and for every one of those people, everything is important. Your job is to help make that happen…and take incredible photos.

Oh yes, you’re not JUST the wedding photographer. Your role is much more than that.

If you’ve read any previous issues, you’ve probably noticed a theme -

This day is NOT about you.

The best thing you can do is make sure you’re putting the needs and feelings of others first before you worry about yourself…and take incredible photos.

“Oh sure, that’s easy for you to say! You don’t have [insert your problem here] or you’re not dealing with [insert your other concerns here].”

That’s kind of the point.

Of course, you have a life. You have things you’re dealing with at the very moment (family, kids, money, etc.)

But ALSO, at this very moment, the couple, YOUR couple, who is paying you money to be there with your camera, is experiencing the biggest day of their life so far, and they hired you to preserve it with photos.

You MUST put your things aside and focus on the people at this wedding, along with all the wonderfully crazy things you’ll experience on this day.

What’s a wedding day like? It’s not just a day or even an event, it’s an experience.

If you’re genuinely interested in becoming a wedding photographer, my best advice is to attend a wedding or three, which you probably have already. But the next time you go to one, I want you to LOOK at things differently. Look for all the small and special things that happen.

Watch people’s faces. See the laughter, tears, smiles, frowns, actions, and reactions because THOSE are the things you need to pay attention to as a wedding photographer. THOSE are the things other people will take for granted and ignore. THOSE are the things you’ll be photographing.

THOSE are the moments that define the day and make every wedding day unique.

There’s a reason I don’t talk too much about photography in this newsletter.

Photography is awesome, but it’s also very technical, and it’s the easiest part to master when you’re shooting a wedding.

In my very biased opinion, mastery of wedding photography comes from mastering everything around weddings INCLUDING the photography - the people, the details, the relationships, the timing, the anticipation and the emotions.

Keeping up with all the other things outside of the actual photography is the tough part...and the fun part.

Weddings are not for everyone, but when you master the photography along with the “inner game,” you’ll do much more than make a living as a wedding professional. You’ll find a purpose for your art and creativity…and a WHY for your photography.

For me, that’s what a wedding is like.

The “inner game of wedding photography” is what happens outside of the photography part. Photography is the sexy and technical part of weddings. The inner game is the part that keeps you IN business, and THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

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Quick Caveat - Although I’m discussing a wedding with a bride during our initial consultation, this could apply to any initial meeting with a potential client.

When you sit down with a bride and groom for the first time, you’re going to be tempted to unload the full force of your fantastic photography as fast as possible.

But hang on a sec, Buckaroo. Holster them smoke wagons for a sec and take a look at a few ways to make a solid connection BEFORE you meet.

The goal here is to make the “show and tell” part of your presentation as powerful as possible.

(And NO, I won’t be using any more alliteration. It’s out of my system, I swear)

Q1. How can I make a positive first impression during a wedding consultation?

• Be on time, or better yet, be early. If you’re meeting at a neutral location, secure a good seat with good lighting and have everything prepared. This puts you in control of the surroundings, and control = confidence.

• Show them you’re happy to see them. Stand up, smile, shake hands and tell them how glad you are you could get together. NOTE: I didn’t say, “Thanks for meeting with me.” Saying this starts things from a position of weakness. Instead, try, “I’m so glad we could get together.” This is both true and balanced.

• Listen to them. If you ask them something, listen for the answer and follow up with something BASED ON what they say. Everyone likes to be heard.

Q2. What materials or presentations should I bring to a wedding consultation?

• Bring more than you’ll need. Albums, books, prints, whatever photo samples you use to sell your services - bring plenty. You never want them to see your stuff and feel like, “Is that all?”

• Let them finish with one album, see that there are four more and think, “OK, this photographer has the goods!”

• Bring your rates and a version they can take home with them. I use a cool bound presentation booklet that we both look through together, and then I let them take it with them. I almost always get a surprised look when they realize they can keep it (it’s pretty cool, I admit).

• And if they don’t hire you today, they can easily pass your rates along to a friend…which they often do.

• Also, don’t try to be too salesy and “close” them on the spot. Be classy and confident, and encourage them to look around, if they’d like. If they’re smart, they’ll be back to you.

Q3. How do I handle objections or concerns raised by potential clients?

• Objections will come up, BUT you can keep them to a minimum if you do one simple thing…Address the objections before they come up.

• This might sound difficult or like a mind-reading trick, but if you put yourself in the shoes of the bride (not literally, of course) and run through your pitch, you’ll find those holes where the objections can hide.

• “Are you the only photographer on the day?”

• “What happens if you get sick?”

• “How long before I see my photos?”

• Those are just a few of the common ones. Ask yourself what the bride might be thinking and bring those issues up BEFORE she does.

• If you bring them up first, they are no longer objections.

And here’s your Bonus Question

Q3.5 What happens if a bride wants to book me without meeting up first?

Repeat after me, “I will meet/talk with every bride before I book the wedding.”

You’re going to meet a lot of people at weddings. It’s not uncommon for a guest or a bridesmaid to have seen your work, the way work at a wedding you both attended, love the results and want to hire you on the phone.

Please, just take a little time to talk to each other before you move forward.

You don’t have to have a lengthy meeting or conversation, especially when it’s a bridesmaid or a sister of a wedding you shot. They know you, and you might know them, but people are different (even sisters).

It’s essential that you learn more about THEM and their desires and preferences.

Besides, meeting with a bride is fun. I know that’s not what you signed up for when you chose to be a wedding photographer, but it’s an important part of the selling process, so you might as well find a way to enjoy it.

Every wedding you shoot begins with a meeting with either the bride and groom, the bride and her mom, the bride and her whole family, or just the bride alone.

I DO NOT recommend booking a bride without talking with her first. And let me tell you, it will be oh-so-tempting to do so.

You’ll get a call from a bride, and she’ll say something like, “I absolutely love your work and I want to book you for my wedding! Reserve June 5th for me right now, please.”

Even if it’s a Zoom call, you PLEASE have a conversation with the bride first. Find out what she’s like, what she likes and doesn’t like, and how she envisions her wedding day, and what she wants from her photographer.

You need to know if her wedding dreams line up with your ability (or tolerance) to fulfill those dreams.

This conversation is so important because you’ll have access to her wedding day like no other vendor, and the wedding day is not the day to find out that your personalities don’t appreciate each other (that’s a nice way to put it).

It’s good for you, it’s good for her, and it’s good for the groom and the whole family that both of you fully understand and appreciate each other.

Weddings are a big deal and meeting with a potential bride is great way to build rapport and trust.

When you invest your time preparing for a wedding meeting, you’ll see huge returns every time you meet with a bride-to-be.

Every bride is different, and every meeting you have makes you more comfortable with the business part of your photography.

Comfort also = confidence, btw.

Meeting with the bride (and having a GOOD meeting) is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

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So you want a real peek inside wedding photography?

Fair Warning: It’s not always glamorous.

This is the first of many issues on “dealing with” the many, many different personalities you find at a wedding. Of course, there are the brides, bridesmaids, grooms, and groomsmen - those are the obvious and important ones.

You also have dads, moms, stepdads, stepmoms, cousins, aunts, uncles, best friends, and people who think they are best friends - you get what I’m painting here, right?

Everyone is special, and it takes something special to know how to “deal with” everyone.

This first one might sound like an odd one, but trust me, it’s a real one.

Weddings are a party. Alcohol gets served at parties. People often drink too much at parties, so you will eventually face this situation.

For the Female Photographers

If you’re a female, which I am not, you’ll have a different degree of issues I cannot speak completely confident about. Though I have been hit on by guys before, I can’t imagine dealing with this on a regular basis.

I’m sure, as a female, you’ve been trained in one form or another to be tactful yet tough, so I’ll offer the same advice I’ll give male photographers, but with a different emphasis.

Keep your head and don’t take anything personally.

This might not be easy, and you WILL experience a rainbow of unpleasantries like shock, insult, or verbal abuse, but unless it falls into the category of something physical or dangerous, try to remember that free alcohol is powerful in the hands of some people (I’m so proud of myself for not calling these people idiots).

On the other hand, although I’m not a lawyer or law enforcement officer, I will say that if you ever feel threatened or in physical danger, seek out one of the dads and let them know immediately (hopefully, it’s not one of the dads you’re in danger from and if it is, the mother of the bride is your goto).

Weddings do not typically come with security, so family members are the highest folks on the food chain of responsibility. I wish I could offer more.

For the Male Photographers

OK, for the fellas, you have two things to look out for.

The first is the delightful ladies who have consumed too many sparkling spirits and find themselves attracted to a man in uniform…or a man holding a camera.

The first time this happens, you’ll probably feel flattered. OK, that’s natural.

Feel flattered, then flee.

There’s absolutely no good that comes from getting cozy with ANY wedding guest.

Be polite, of course. Be charming, if you must, but DO NOT ENGAGE in any way. Period.

The second problem is more common, and sadly, you’ll have to deal with the same guys that will plague our female photographers...only for a different reason.

Dopey dudes who can’t handle their alcohol are not uncommon at weddings and the best course of action is to avoid them altogether.

If you want to have a little fun and get some great photos of them displaying their plastered prowess for your portfolio, you have my permission (the couple will love them, too).

Alas, sometimes, trouble finds you, especially when you have to be a little bold or assertive at certain times of the night.

The most common is at the end of the fiesta, when you have to round everyone up for the farewell. You can read more about this process HERE.

When the party has ended, and the newlyweds are ready to drive off into the sunset, they’re traditionally sent off with a big farewell. Lucky for you, it’s traditionally your job to gather folks up for the send-off.

For this departure, time is usually a factor because when the couple is ready to go, they’re really ready to go.

At the same time, the event staff are ready to get their work started by cleaning the room, and the band or DJ is anxious to pack up their gear and head home as well.

Bottom line - This is not a time to dilly or dally

While I recommend being a club bouncer for a couple of years to gain proper training in this practice, I know that might not be possible for everyone.

Do your best to be polite yet firm and herd the folks to the door, where they are often handed incendiary sticks to wave at the departing couple (this is such a good idea!)

As you begin the wrangling process, it is pretty common for at least a couple of the more passionate party people to resist the closure of the festivities.

But, as the saying goes, “You don’t have to go home, you just can’t stay here.”

If (when) you are confronted by someone who doesn’t take a shine to you shutting down the party (of course, it’s your fault), please take the same advice I gave the female photographers.

Keep your head and don’t take anything personally.

Because you’re more than likely not nearly as attractive as your female counterpart, you should expect to receive significantly less wooing vibes and a bit more, “Hey, Bro, stop telling me what to do!”

The clinical term for this is “conflict.”

My best advice is just keep your head, smile, and keep moving folks toward the door.

Try to ignore the problem child and stay on task. You’re still the photographer, you still have a job to do, and you’re a professional, so act like it.

I’m sure any good defense instructor will tell you - Don’t square up to an aggressor and don’t make unnecessary eye contact. Take this advice too.

One good play is to look for a less drunk friend or girlfriend to ally with. That usually helps calm things down.

In the unlikely event that things escalate, follow these three simple rules:

#1 Keep your head.

#2 Be gracious and slowly back things down.

#3 Apologize (yes, even if it’s not your fault that things got heated).

A dad or uncle is a good person to bring in at this point. Family members are typically not the problem, so bringing family in is also a solid play.

PLEASE DO NOT ENGAGE in any way.

And also (this one is tough for me) DO NOT toss in a snarky yet funny verbal jab that might fling fuel on the fire.

Being clever, playful, and assertive all at the same time is an advanced move, but you must always remain professional.

Regardless of whether you’re a male or female, remember, this one wayward wedding guest is NOT worth your energy and certainly NOT worth damaging your reputation.

Pull out your best Elsa attitude and LET IT GO.

You should never forget that people are always watching you.

How you handle challenging situations can be a significant factor in whether you are considered for a potential wedding referral.

There will be many more wonderful weddings without hooch-filled hooligans, so don’t worry too much about this…just be prepared.

Handle things well, and you will be rewarded.

At one particular wedding, I was approached by a guest I’d seen at another wedding months before and received a very kind apology from them for their drunken demeanor at the previous event.

I’m not sure how in the world they remembered me, given the amount of alcohol they ingested that night, but I appreciated the act and am grateful that I didn’t let my bravado get the best of me.

Here’s one more for the road.

Remember - Keep your head and don’t take anything personally.

Dealing with alcohol-challenged people is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

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A significant part of being a successful wedding photographer is the mindset behind your role. You’re a wedding professional.

There’s a lot of power being the one with the camera, and if you enjoy being the point person at an event, you’ll LOVE being a wedding photographer.

Look, I know you’re an artist. Artists want control, and artists want to create their way, with their style.

Let’s start at the end - This is NOT your day.The bottom line is…as the wedding photographer, you’re documenting this day for your couple.

Let’s start at the end - This is NOT your day.

This day belongs to everyone except you. If you can accept that, you’ll be just fine and quite successful.

I’ve met some extremely talented photographers, brilliant artists and masters with a camera who talk about weddings as though they’re a canvas for them to pour their brilliance upon...they are NOT.

I know weddings are amazing, and some weddings are more amazing than others, but this day is about the couple and their families. Your job is to preserve that day for THEM, not you.

If, in the process of your pictorial preservation, you capture something amazing that will help in the future marketing of your services, that’s fantastic, but please don’t go into the day looking for that.

Try to picture yourself as a spectator, not a player - but a spectator with a camera.

If you approach this day as an observer, you’ll not only see more, but you’ll see things differently.

You’ll find yourself LOOKING at angles, reflections, and details - light and shadows and the almost magical interplay of all these elements.

You won’t just be standing waiting for the next thing to happen - you’ll be hunting for something to shoot.

This is what makes weddings so much fun!

Now, as a caveat, when I talk about looking for things, I’m not necessarily talking about shooting “the things.” You know what I’m referring to - the invitations, save the dates, etc., that the bride brings for you.

Those are cool to shoot, too, but I see those more as requisite details, like the dress and the rings.

I’m talking about the personal items - notes, gifts, mementos, personalized glasses and robes - all those cool things that set the scene without being too obvious.

Those things that won’t be special tomorrow.

There’s also the endless supply of activities happening around the wedding day, completely away from the bride and groom.

A wedding day isn’t just an event people attend.

In every wedding, family and friends are working behind the scenes to make everything perfect. Sometimes is just little touches, and sometimes it’s the entire event.

These are the moments that are so easily forgotten (or completely unseen in the first place).

Imagine the couple revisiting their photos years later and seeing a favorite aunt and uncle helping to put the finishing touches on the reception decor, a moment they would’ve never seen.

Or seeing Dad ironing the groom’s shirt because it got wrinkled the night before, and he didn’t want his son-in-law-to-be to look less than perfect on his wedding day.

It’s the little things that make a wedding day so memorable…and these are the things you look for.

In no other photography work (or any other career, for that matter) do you get paid to explore and find something quirky or funny, touching or mysterious.

It’s like your job is being a professional scavenger hunter, and yes, the clock is ticking!

This hunt is for one day only!

In about 10 hours, all these little emotionally charged details will go away, and you’ll never see them again.

I’ve mentioned it before, and I tell every bride when we meet that a wedding isn’t something you buy as a package (not counting Vegas, of course).

A wedding day is composed of a hundred little things, each personally selected and carefully chosen, assembled and crafted to create the perfect day. That’s why each wedding day is uniquely special.

Hunt for these things. Have fun. Move around and look for the unexpected moments that make this day personal and memorable for the couple.

Excel at this, and you’ll be more than just a photographer. You’ll be the one who brought this entire day back to the couple through your photos.

Selling with confidence is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography and THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

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This is one of the most fundamental sales lessons I am aware of.

You cannot be a profitable wedding photographer if you cannot sell with confidence.

What does “confidence” mean?

It means believing in your skills and your ability to deliver exceptional wedding photographs to your clients so much that if they don’t want to choose you, it’s their loss, not yours.

Yes, that may sound a bit arrogant because it probably is…and that’s the point.

I used to work for a national opinion poll when I was in college. It was a telemarketing gig, so if you couldn’t handle rejection, even over the phone, this was NOT the place for you.

There were plenty of people hired who couldn’t handle it when someone hung up on them.

There’s not much you can tell someone who gets discouraged except, “Pick up the phone and call someone else.”

You can’t take it personally.

Remember the line from The Godfather? “This is business, it’s not personal!”

I like how this line is featured in You Got Mail more, but that’s another story.

The Bottom Line - This is a business, so whatever happens, you can’t take it personally.

Someone doesn’t like your work? Fine, that’s their opinion. There are a LOT of people out there who will like your work, and those who won’t - that’s business.

Someone doesn’t like your attitude or personality? That’s fine too because it’s their opinion.

Others will love you because of your attitude or personality - that’s business.

This is about the confidence you have in yourself.

Bad News - Your confidence is not something you can simply go out and buy.

Good News - You can generate confidence within your mind and your heart for free, but it’s gonna take work.

Now, let’s be clear - confidence is not arrogance.

You can be arrogant with or without confidence, and you can be confident with or without arrogance.

I prefer to be confident, go easy on the arrogance and heavier on humbleness, but that’s just me.

How does this translate to selling?

Two big ways.

The first is being confident in yourself and your product.

If you’re not confident in what you’re selling, you’ll have a much more difficult time selling it (unless you’re a psychopath or a scammer).

It’s important, NO, essential to offer and deliver the best product you can sell.

There is a fine line between perfectionism and personal satisfaction in your work, but you’ll have to consult a shrink for more details on that one.

You know if your work is good enough to position yourself in your local marketplace.

If you really have a complex about this, ask a stranger or coworker what they think about your photo, and tell them to be honest. (Don’t ask your mom)

Once you’re comfortable with that space between your ears, set a high standard for your work and then strive to improve every week.

When you do this, The Market will determine if the price you put on your product is worth the value or if it needs to be lower or higher.

It’s your responsibility to listen to The Market.

Your confidence begins this transactional process, and your integrity (and love for weddings) will determine how long you’ll remain in business.

The second way is actually a byproduct that comes from NOT being confident.

It’s called desperation, and it’s one of the most insidious parts of selling.

Going back to my tele-polling days. When I saw someone getting discouraged and that discouragement turned to desperation, it was only a matter of time before they hung up the phone and then the towel.

No one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to hear someone beg, especially on the phone.

When you’re selling, NO one wants to hear how badly you need the sale. NO ONE wants to hear about your troubles. That is NOT a successful part of the business process.

Do you know what IS a successful part of selling?

Confidence with a little bravado, yes, even for the ladies!

Guys, you’ve probably been through it - that girl you always liked being attracted to the “bad guy.”

Why is that?

You’ve always been the good friend - always been there for her, and she’s attracted to HIM, the guy who doesn’t care? Life isn’t fair!

OK, enough about high school. The truth is, life isn’t fair, and the cool guy with the cool camera will sometimes book the wedding you wanted, but he didn’t do something you might have. He didn’t beg for it.

Sure, he might have wanted it too, but he didn’t let the client know. He played it cool. He might have even thrown in a little hard to get line like, “I’m not even sure I’m available on that day. Lemme find out,” just to stir up the emotions a bit.

(Cool guys are so cool!)

There are a couple of basic truths we need to understand here:

• People only care about themselves.

• People want what they can’t have.

• People don’t want things to be handed to them.

• Sometimes (many times), people want to chase what they want.

That explains high school, at least for me.

This may sound like I’m getting off the rails, but stay with me.

This is about your confidence and handling yourself when meeting with the bride.

You want to be genuine.

You want to be honest.

You want to keep your head even when the bride says she wants to fly you out to Napa for the engagement session (breathe…breathe…don’t smile just yet).

If you’ve honed your skill and you’re a good photographer, then this isn’t about photography...

This is about you.

That’s what this uber-niched wedding photography newsletter is all about.

Your confidence in you and your skills WILL make the difference between booking the wedding or not.

If the bride feels your confidence and does not feel any desperation, you’re in a good place.

If the bride is impressed with your work and feels a connection with you, you’re in a better place.

Now, just make everything else all about them and not you, and you’ll be in the best place...BOOKED.

If the bride cannot afford you, that’s OK. Another bride will. You must be prepared for that.

But that also brings up a really important part - Saying no to a bride you don’t want to shoot for.

If you have the confidence to say, “We’re not a good fit,” then you’ll be ready for anything. I can’t emphasize this enough.

Confidence is not about being arrogant.

Being a wedding photographer is about serving, and you must be confident in your ability to serve. You must be confident in your skills, and you must be confident in your ability to sell your skills.

Don’t forget, you’re not selling “photography,” you’re selling the preservation of the greatest day in her life. You’re selling the memories she’ll share with her grandkids.

You don’t have to wear a leather jacket or drive a motorcycle to be cool and confident. Just be yourself, let your confidence and class as a wedding professional show naturally, and you’ll be as attractive as if you rode up on a Harley with a Hasselblad

That’s why the bride is talking to you in the first place, right?

Selling with confidence is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography and THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

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I’ve never been a fan of hunting...although I completely get why it’s an attractive sport.

You’re moving slowly and quietly, peeking around corners, looking for the right angle, waiting, waiting, waiting and THEN your prey shows itself...Bang, or in our case, CLICK!

Photographing weddings is not simply showing up, gathering groups, click, click, and moving on to the next staged event.

I suppose for some, it might be, and that’s unfortunate, and it also explains why many photographers can’t handle the gig for very long.

But you are different. You’re a hunter. You may not wear a photographer’s vest and look like a boujee “enthusiast” (don’t get me started on photo vests), but you’re doing what a wedding photographer SHOULD be doing for their couple – you’re preserving their day for them.

Every venue and every room you walk into is an opportunity to capture a moment that will define the day.

“Whoa, that’s big talk there, Mr. Photographer!”

Yeah, it is...and it’s true. Whether or not you’re going to embrace that truth or not will determine how long you’re going to be successful in your wedding photography career (Yeah, I went THERE.)

I wasn’t born with a love for journalistic integrity and photographic purity. Far from it!

When I started, I did what everyone did, I took of ordinary things. But it didn’t take long before I became bored with taking still images of still things.

I tried other things, but didn’t like wildlife enough to go stalking animals for a living. Sports was cool, but I preferred to play. The first time I attended a wedding with a camera, however, everything changed.

As I looked at the fruits of my labor after I shot my first wedding, I saw moments that were gone forever – perfectly preserved in these proof prints.

Laughter, tears, quick glances, long, loving stares and joy in the eyes of a couple.

Each photo holding heaps of emotion in a micro-moment in time...and I owned them.

By simply pressing my finger on a button at just the right time, I froze a priceless event in history.

And the very best part was that I could now share this moment with someone who would cherish it more than I would – and they would cherish it so much, in fact, that they would pay me money for it!

And you just thought you were taking pictures!

You’ve heard the tropes:

“Every picture tells a story.”

“A picture is worth a thousand words.”

These may be good for ad copy, and they may be true for some people, but for the wedding photographer, I want you to look at these differently:

“Every picture tells someone’s story.”

“A picture is worth a thousand words AND a hundred emotions.”

This is the power you have with your camera, and this is what makes your role at a wedding THE MOST IMPORTANT at a wedding (sure, the chocolate fountain is important too, but you get the point).

Selling Differently

When you meet with your couple before the wedding, it might feel like a sales opportunity.

For some people, sales is as attractive as dental work, so this part will certainly help.

Whether or not you like the “pitch process” part of the wedding meeting, let me suggest a way to look at it differently – in a STORYTELLING way.

You’re probably familiar with the Features vs Benefits aspect of selling. Features are what you say about your product (bells, whistles, etc), whereas Benefits are HOW these features will create a positive outcome for the buyer (this bell improves my life because...).

For a wedding photographer, a feature might be owning the latest and greatest camera gear, and you might spin that as a benefit to your bride because the photos you take for her will be extra sharp and colorful because of your gear (please don’t use this on a bride).

I’ll let you in on a secret – Brides don’t care about gear.

I pitched brides during the transition from film to digital in the early 2000s and had to repeatedly answer the question, “Do you use film or digital?”

Initially, digital photography got a bad rap – not because it was inherently bad, but because photographers didn’t know how to make it look good, or like film.

We all know how that story ended, and we know that in the big picture, brides don’t care what made their picture.

However, they DO care how it was made, and the best way to translate the “how” is by telling them the story behind the photo.

Now we’re talking about your portfolio or what you show your brides when you meet with them.

When I started booking weddings, I didn’t have hundreds of photos to show off. I had ten 17x11 prints mounted on matboards.

On each board was a 5x7 photo with a lot of white space around it. It looked like something you’d see in a gallery.

I presented each photo one by one and told the story behind it, exactly as I did in last week’s photo breakdown issue, with the story behind the photo Dignity.

These photos were my ten favorite photos, and I loved telling these stories because they did two things:

First, this storytelling described my process – I prefer to seek out moments rather than waiting for something to happen.

Brides knew I took this seriously, and they could see artistry in my work even if I didn’t think of it as art.

Second, these stories drew the bride into each photo and made her feel like these moments were her moments.

Don’t forget, most brides are rookies at weddings, so the more you can make them FEEL the wedding, the stronger the connection you’ll have with them.

Each photo was a story told from my vantage point. Some of the stories focused more on the process, and ALL of them described the emotions surrounding the scenes.

I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy telling these stories over and over. Not because it was repetitive but because these were REAL moments in people’s lives, and I often got a little emotional when describing them.

This was not my intention, nor was it ever faked.

That’s the power of storytelling. Combine it with a powerful image, and the emotion is tough to hold back.

I lived that moment, and now this prospective bride and her mom did too.

Selling your wedding services should not be difficult if you’re passionate about your work and how you create it. It certainly shouldn’t take hundreds of photos to convince a bride you know what you’re doing, either.

Even after shooting 500 weddings, I still pitch my brides with a dozen individual photos. Each photo is a memorable moment with a unique story behind it.

It might not seem polished enough for some photographers, but for me and those who want to connect with their brides, this is honest and puts the bride front and center into my world and into the photos that define a wedding day.

Peeking behind the camera and into the photographer’s mind (and heart) is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’re a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please reach out and let me know.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

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Author’s Note:

This is a bit different than my usual newsletter content.

Photographers are visual people, and we gain insight from viewing each other’s work.

I truly believe the mindset of a wedding photographer is an essential part of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

If you like it, I’ll add more of these to the mix to spice things up and give you a deeper peek behind the camera. If you don’t...well, I’ll probably do it anyway :)

I love photographing kids on the wedding day.

They’re almost always nieces or nephews, so they’re much loved by the bride and groom and often given surprisingly prominent roles on the big day.

The historical importance of shooting kids should never be overlooked.

Someday, these kids will also get married, and your priceless photos of them will bring your brilliance back into the spotlight (and quite possibly bring you and your camera back as well!)

Kids make for some terrific moments on the wedding day. Yes, they are unpredictable and often exasperating, but they often create some of the most memorable photos of the day…if you’re looking for them.

Here’s the story behind Dignity

I arrived at the church early and did my typical scouting of the surroundings. This was an out-of-town wedding, so everything was new for me.

I like to get the “lay of the land” at a venue so I can move quickly once the shooting starts. I know this sounds like I’m plotting a big heist, but it’s more of a safari, as you’ll see.

I saw the bride, got a few establishing shots, and then, as I tend to do, I left the room. The guys hadn’t arrived yet, so I was looking for more things to shoot.

As the family members trickled in, I introduced myself and kept moving to other rooms.

I try to establish a good rapport with family and friends early on so they’re not surprised to see some strange guy with a big camera poking around and looking at them curiously.

By not spending too much time in any one room, the family better understands my role and my approach to photographing the day.

I’m not just waiting for something to happen…I’m constantly looking for something to photograph.

This pop-in/pop-out practice also prevents early guests from thinking, “Hey, that’s the photographer, he’s not busy, let’s get some family photos!”

There’s a time for that, but not during bridal prep.

I saw a dad and his son arrive and noticed the boy was not wearing his “wedding clothes” yet.

I wasn’t sure if he was a part of the wedding or not, so I said hi and went back to see the bride...but I kept a close eye on this duo and where they were headed (this is the stealthy part of the job I rather enjoy).

After taking a few more photos of the bride getting her hair worked on (it takes a while, so there’s plenty of time to shoot other things), I went looking for the dad and son. I suspected that this young boy might be the ringbearer, and I was correct.

I found Dad around a corner pulling out a mini version of a tuxedo, and I knew this was the moment I was hoping for.

One of the benefits of arriving at the church two hours before the ceremony is finding a lot of empty rooms and hallways offering privacy.

Thankfully, Dad opted for a hallway rather than a bathroom, which is never an ideal place to take photos.

The hallway was bathed in light from a nearby window, so I found a strategic spot to hide around the corner, watched and waited.

If this sounds like I’m stalking my prey...it’s because I am.

Kids are, as I mentioned, unpredictable, and you never know if your presence is going to make them uncomfortable or not, especially if you’re a guy shooting a girl or vice versa.

Kids are still kids around adults, and with strangers, they’re not totally at ease.

I always err on the side of assuming they do NOT want their photo taken, so I made a very conscious decision not to hover with a camera pointed at them.

I went back and forth between the bride and the dad/son a couple more times (did I mention the hair take can take a while?) until it was time for THE moment.

The pants were on, the shirt was buttoned, and it was time for the tie.

Of course, it’s a clip-on, and knowing how those goofy things work, I got ready to strike.

I wanted to get the tie tying part because that’s the most vulnerable moment from the son’s point of view and the most fatherly part of the dad’s.

I waited…waited…then slowly peeked out from around the corner and fired off three quick shots when the son was looking away, before his attention turned toward me.

Yes, I also got a few of him looking at me, but it didn’t have the same impact.

As you look closer at this shot, you’ll notice that some of the details that around the photo because I was intentional with my positioning and lighting.

• I did plan to shoot this with the light coming at 90 degrees rather than from behind me and possibly casting a shadow.

• I didn’t know the boy would look toward the light, so that was a very happy accident.

• By choosing this angle, there was less emphasis on the dad, which was also intentional. Dad doesn’t need to be seen for this photo to work. His attention was on his son, which was the point (I think even Dad would agree).

• On the post-processing side, I warmed it up a bit and added a little to the natural vignette, which was more subtle in the original (Note: This shot is probably 20 years old, and I used to play more with vignettes back then - not as much today).

• I tried this in black and white, but the color just worked so much better. The warm tones with the pink tie added a nice little pop of color that was also a signature part of the wedding.

Being the first Photo Breakdown, you might wonder how I remembered so much detail from this one moment from one wedding so long ago.

The full answer is longer and something I’ll talk about in more detail next week, but the short answer is, I’ve told this story to prospective brides...a LOT.

Part of my selling process is talking about the wedding day as a collection of small moments and tiny details that, when pulled together, create this perfect tapestry - unique to each couple.

Preserving these moments is our job as a wedding photographer, as is weaving them together for our couple after the wedding for their online portfolio and, ultimately, their Wedding Book.

This type of visual storytelling is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful aspects of selling wedding photography and is also one of the reasons that photographing weddings is so much fun.

I hope you enjoyed this photo dissection. Next week, I’ll show you how to incorporate stories like this into your sales process.

Peeking behind the camera and into the photographer’s mind (and heart) is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you're a subscriber to INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY, thank you! If I can help you in any way, please don't hesitate to reach out.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance)

Subscribe now

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I enjoy wedding shows. I think they are a valuable use of your money to market your wedding business, especially when you’re trying to build your bookings.

Sure, they can be expensive, and the venues are questionable at times, but there are genuine benefits to attending...but not for the reason you might think.

Before getting to that part, first we must prepare for the show itself.

A significant amount of preparation is needed for a wedding show (way more than you might think).

If you’re completely unfamiliar with how trade shows work (and this is a trade show specifically for weddings), I’ve created a mini guide to help get you up to speed.

If you are familiar with wedding shows but have never participated in one, this list will be particularly helpful.

Full Disclosure - I’m a bit of an enthusiast for trade shows in general, regardless of the industry, so I have some strong opinions on the “what and what not to do” and the “shoulds and NEVER should do.” Of course, these are my opinions, and, as always, if you disagree, you have the freedom to be wrong :)

Taken from decades of trade show attendance and participation in numerous industries, I present to you, for the very first time, free of charge, The Wedding Show Guide of Best Practices (working title, don’t judge).

• When booking your space, request a corner booth facing toward the middle fo the room (not the wall). You get the best visibility from the attendees.

• Get there early and get set up as quickly as possible.

• If you can set up the night before, that is preferable.

• Stock your booth with as many giveaway materials and promotional pieces as possible. You never want to run out.

• There are a TON of ways you can decorate your booth. Have fun, but stay on brand and be classy (furry carpeting sounds cool, but it raises eyebrows...and not always in the best way)

• Do NOT use the stock curtain they provide. Bring your own and hang them over theirs.

• NEVER use the cheap cardboard sign the show host provided with your name on it as your signage...EVER. It’s a placeholder for your booth, that’s all. Pitch it once you move in. Invest in nice sign for your booth. You’ll use it again.

• Bring your own flooring (carpet squares are great) if you can. Of course, this only applies to convention halls and not hotel shows, which are typically carpeted.

• Do NOT use the table or chairs provided for your booth. Just ask a staff member to remove them completely. Why? Keep reading.

• You should never sit during the show. You’re there to work and interact with people, not be a customer service agent behind a desk or table. Plus, it created a barrier between you and your prospective clients (this is HUGE).

• Do NOT eat while in your booth. If you need to grab a bite, bring a protein bar to eat while taking a potty break.

• Dress like you’re going to dress at the wedding. This makes it really easy to answer the question, “What do you wear to the wedding?”

• Show off lots of work! Books, prints, as much as you can gather up. THIS is your time to show off your goods. You can’t have too much.

• Be friendly but not TOO friendly. You’re not selling cars - you’re offering them the opportunity to have their wedding preserved in photos by you.

• Don’t act like you’re selling cell phones at the mall. This is a tough reality. Not everyone WANTS to talk to you. For those who ignore you, pretend they already booked their photographer and don’t need another one.

• Attitude is everything. If you feel confident and successful, you’ll appear confident and successful. Perception becomes reality.

• When meeting with prospective clients, discuss weddings. Tell stories about weddings. Show photos of weddings and tell stories about the moments in the photos. They weren’t there, but you can make them FEEL like they were there. Your passion for your craft will come out. THIS is your time to shine!

• Ask questions and answer questions. It’s an exchange, not a negotiation. You want to sound like the photographer who CARES the most. You may be the best photographer, but the one who cares will be the one who wins.

• Don’t know what to ask, ask them about their wedding plans. A simple, “Tell me about about your wedding plans?” is a great way to start the engagement.

• Don’t be afraid to talk money. Be confident with your rates. If you want to have a “Show Special,” fine, but stick to your rates. I prefer adding something to the package rather than lowering your price at this stage of the sales process.

• Wedding shows are an opportunity to educate the bride and her mom. More than likely, they’re new at this, so be the one who teaches them. They might book you, they might not, but YOU will be the authority, and moms, don’t forget that.

• This is a prime opportunity to let your personality come out. At a wedding, you’re not the star of the show, but here, at the wedding show, you can be. Be funny, be friendly, and let them see the type of person they’re entrusting this day with.

• Get cozy with the show organizer. Every show needs photographs, so why can’t they use yours? Whenever they need help with promotion, be THE ONE who provides it. This goodwill goes a long way for the next time (booth upgrades, better positioning, a guest speaker for Q&A and a media resource).

• One huge benefit of being ready early is when the local TV station comes by for a quick LIVE segment (typically before the show opens). Your biggest assets are visuals, and the TV segment needs visuals. Prepare your elevator pitch in advance so you can be ready when the reporter is looking for a vendor to chat with (and make sure you plug the show).

• Almost every show features an “Ask the professionals” segment on stage, where attendees can ask questions about planning a wedding. Volunteer to do this! Being on stage in front of everyone as a professional in your industry is worth the price of the entire show. While your competition is in their booth, you get a priceless moment on stage as the authority for wedding photography.

• NEVER leave early. Stay until the very end and possibly even later. Many brides don’t like the crowds, so they get there late. Be available to them. I’ve booked several weddings with brides who just wanted to “pop in for a quick look” but ended up staying and chatting for 30 minutes while all the other vendors were packing up to leave.

I could keep going but I thing this a good place to start from.

OK, now that you have a solid arsenal of how to prepare for the show itself, let me tell you the real reason WHY you should attend a wedding show.

The Other Vendors

If you’ve done your job, arrived early and have your booth looking good just about the time the others are rolling their plastic tubs in, you can now take full advantage of your extra time and start working the room.

Everyone at this show is a professional who caters to the wedding industry.

Everyone at this show has a business and needs two things: Referrals and Photography.

They might not need photography today, but they do need referrals today, or they wouldn’t be at a wedding show. They’ll need photography later.

This is where you come in.

Take the time to meet the wedding vendor at every single booth. Introduce yourself, get their contact info and discover a way YOU can help THEM.

If you’re chatting with a booth that caters BBQ, give them your card and tell them if you meet a couple having a country-themed wedding and want to serve BBQ, you’ll send them their way. This is a qualified referral!

And if they need any photos for their website or a new brochure, tell them how much you’d love to help...and eat the props after the shoot.

But what if the bride meets the vendor before you can refer them? Simple.

If you’re chatting with a bride who mentions they hired your new BBQ friend, you can congratulate them on a great choice, and now your support becomes social proof for the bride.

After the show, you return to the BBQ booth and say, “Hey, did [insert bride’s name here] stop by to see you? I told them about you.” They don’t know who came first, but now they know you cared enough about them to pass along a referral.

THIS is how connections are made.

Every vendor at the show (and most shows have a LOT of vendors) can benefit from what you do as a photographer.

Be the one who reaches out to them. Who says things like, “Whatever you need, just lemme know.”

Be the one who goes the extra step to gather a business card or contact info from each vendor before the show.

Be the one who contacts them AFTER the show with a thank you for chatting with them (and, of course, a reminder that if they need anything at all, just let you know).

Relationships are the most powerful part of being a successful wedding photographer. When you take the time to get to know the players in your industry and help them get to know you, seriously, good things happen.

And don’t forget, you’ll see some of these folks again...at weddings!

Starting your connection on a nice common ground, like a wedding show, is invaluable.

Yes, it may be pricey on the front end, but what is a career of referrals worth?

Working a wedding show isn’t exactly the kind of sexy wedding photography topics you typically read or learn about. This is the inner game of wedding photography.

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter - how to become and build a career as a wedding photographer.

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