[Read Time < 6 minutes]

No one likes to hear the word “Divorce” more than wedding photographers.

I suppose in a sadistic way, it does mean more business, but I’m a purist when it comes to marriage, and I prefer to think of marriage as a forever thing.

That being said, I know it’s not, and sooner or later, you’re going to have a couple who has experienced this in their lives and will have to deal with it at their wedding.

You, the trusted wedding photographer, have an obligation to make this relationship issue as much of a NON-issue for your couple.

You might be asking, “Why is the photographer’s problem?” Fair question.

#1 It’s NOT a problem...it’s an issue. As an issue, it’s your responsibility to make sure it does not become a problem.

#2 You are the ring leader when it comes to gathering family members together - Not the planner, not the church lady, YOU.

There are many nuances to this, but I’ll lay out the main ones and let you use this knowledge to work through the more unique ones.

For starters, this should never affect the couple you choose to work with. The divorce didn’t involve them, and it should not play a part in their wedding.

There are some red flags that may affect your choice of clients, but a separated family is not even a yellow flag unless there’s real tension between the families, and you’ll never know that until it’s too late anyway.

Your main job during the wedding meeting, when this typically comes up, is to assure your bride that, no matter what the families’ dynamics are, this is not a problem and that you’ll work with her to ensure everyone is well cared for.

Book It First, Then Deal With It

So let’s say you met with your bride and groom, hit it off, booked the date, and now it’s time to handle the logistics for the families.

You have three scenarios here.

The first is that the divorced parents are both remarried. This is the ideal.

The other is that one is remarried and one is not.

The third is neither remarried.

In all three, respect is the key!

Play no favorites, make no assumptions, and you’ll be just fine.

Communicating with your bride before the wedding is not optional, it’s essential.

If you didn’t discover the separation/divorce in your initial meeting, you do need to know about it before the wedding.

In my Wedding Worksheet, I have a section that asks whether there are any family issues I should be aware of, such as recent deaths, challenging dynamics, separations or divorces.

Just asking a question like this in a matter-of-fact way shows you care... because you do.

If there’s nothing written down here, I will, of course, ask again when the bride and I chat the week of the wedding.

Please don’t overlook this conversation. Finding out that there are flustering family affairs AT the wedding will make it harder to navigate.

Let’s cover the three possible separated family scenarios and what you should do to make everyone happy, especially your bride and groom.

Both Remarried

If there is an ideal situation regarding a divorced couple at a wedding, this is it.

Unless there’s some real Taylor Swift-style bad blood brewing, both the mom and the dad are in a new and assumed happy relationship, and things should be pretty cool.

Of course, asking is always the best plan, but if all you know is that mom and dad have remarried, things should be fine.

At the wedding for the family photos, I would recommend getting two sets of family groups - one for mom and her new family and one for dad and his new family. There are always possibilities of stepbrothers or stepsisters, and this is easily fixed with a photo for each family.

Since this is one of the things you’d chat about with the bride, you may find that they don’t want separate family photos and just want everyone together - both mom and dad with their new husband and wife. Great!

If this is the case, I like to place mom and her husband next to the bride and the dad and his wife next to the groom.

Definitely get an individual shot of mom and dad with their daughter or son, but don’t try to recreate the original family photo unless it’s requested.

These relationships have evolved, so it’s just best to respect the way things are now.

Only One Remarried

This is the most challenging scenario and one that requires you to know as much as possible about the relationships.

You don’t have to go full psychiatrist on the bride, but politely asking, “How’s dad with this?” referring to his former wife now being remarried, isn’t out of line.

This scenario carries the greatest potential for conflict, so keeping some distance between the parties during the group photos is key to avoiding any discomfort.

I’m sentimental, so I do try to give a little extra love to whichever parent is unmarried. This is a tough day to be single, so some TCL is a nice touch.

For the group photos, I’ll defer to the bride and what she wants to do, but in my experience, the solo parent does NOT want to be in the same photo with his former spouse and their new spouse, so again, communicate thoroughly and tread lightly.

Regardless of what you do, getting a photo of the unmarried parent with the bride and groom is a must-have photo.

Neither Remarried

This is an interesting situation because both mom and dad have decided not to be together anymore, but there’s no “special someone” in the picture, making things awkward for either of them.

In this scenario, the parents are typically pretty cool about everything, and you can easily get a photo of mom and dad with their son or daughter, but just don’t put the parents together.

You don’t know what happened, but you do know how it ended, so don’t get any fancy-romancy ideas that you can bring them back together with a photo.

You’ll know soon enough how well they play together, and you can act accordingly.

Working the Reception

The hardest part of navigating the family dynamics of a wedding, especially in a situation of divorce, happens before the reception, so once you get to the dinner and dancing, things will flow a lot easier.

The biggest thing to focus on at the reception is the relationships between the parents and BOTH their spouse and their kids, aka the bride and groom.

If the parents are remarried, make sure to get some fun shots of them together. Same as you would with parents who didn’t divorce.

I will caution to be a bit cautious if a boyfriend or girlfriend is accompanying an unmarried parent.

You can, of course, get photos of them together, but you don’t know how this relationship might end up, so getting too many might make things awkward when designing the couple’s wedding album. Even though AI can do it quickly, removing people from photos is still uncomfortable and don’t forget that these photos don’t belong to you in the end.

This Day Is About a Union, Not a Separation

The important thing to remember is that this day is about the bride and groom.

Their parents are there to love and celebrate THEIR day, not to make it about them (hopefully). You’re get to play all sides of the relationships so it’s important to remember that is a joyful day about two people coming together.

No matter what the relationships are between the parents, everyone here to have fun and celebrate the bride and the groom.

You can never get enough photos of parents with their kids, no matter how old they get, so focus on them, their relationship, and you’ll make everyone happy.

Dealing with divorced parents is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography,”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

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Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting as a photographer and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 6 Minutes]

Author Stephen King famously said, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

As a photographer, I completely agree with this... but about photography, of course.

If you want to be a photographer, you must take photos, and you must study photography.

I’ll take it one step further and say you should also study The Photographer.

I’m not as concerned about their brand of camera or their settings as I am about what they were SEEING and THINKING in the moment they clicked the shutter.

One of the most influential photographers in my career is Joe Buissink (joebuissink.com)

He started his photography career relatively late in life, at the age of 44, and quickly became a legend in the industry.

Joe became a Canon Explorer of Light and a wedding photographer for a mile-long list of celebrities.

I was poking around my old WPPI notes from almost 30 years ago, and compared things I learned to a great interview he did with Vanessa Joy, which I recently watched online (I’ll link it below).

The advice he gave me in 1998 is as powerful today for aspiring wedding professionals as it was then.

Be Different

For me, as a wedding photographer and creative interested in helping others take their creativity public, Joe Bussink’s advice is perfect.

Ask yourself, “How do I separate myself from other photographers?”

It’s one of the biggest questions you can ask because, on one hand, you have the Marketing Mavens telling you to do what works for others. After all, it’s proven.

And on the other hand, you have the Committed Creatives telling you to do something totally different that no one else has ever done.

So which is it?

Joe’s advice applies to both artists and technicians.

“Do what works for you.”

For him, it was shooting 35mm when every wedding photographer was shooting medium format. Everyone else was doing one thing, but that didn’t work for him, so he did something different.

Joe was about the moment, not the mechanism, and speed matters in the moment.

He also never worried about being copied.

“You can’t steal my eye.” is a great line he used, and I’ve borrowed it many times when talking to my brides.

For Bussink, the focus was about reducing the limitations and letting creativity flow and grow into something personal.

For you that can be your unique style, flair or secret sauce. Once you find it, USE IT and let it build within you.

Learn To Use Your Gear

Joe describes “The moment between the moment” as The Perfect Moment.

You shoot, shoot, shoot, and somewhere during a nice moment, is that one shot...the one that defines the entire scene – the one that is revealed by being there, camera at your face and shooting.

You don’t get that shot by accident. Sometimes you get lucky, but Joe seems to be lucky an awful lot.

It’s not luck.

When you know your gear so well, you’re in control. Exposure, depth of field, and composition are all calculated in a split second, and the difference between a good photo and a piece of priceless art is how you control that image-making tool in your hand.

Your camera is not smart. It’s technologically advanced, but it’s not smart.

YOU are the artist.

Know how to use every facet of your tool, and you’ll create amazing things that no one has ever done before.

Remember that scene from Back to the Future when Marty finished shredding his slightly ear-splitting solo at the dance near the end and then handed the guitar back to the band member who looked at it like it was possessed?

THAT’S what others feel like when they simply take a photo, while you create a work of art...using the same camera.

Are you up for the challenge?

Every great superhero has an origin story, and Joe’s wedding-photography lore began with a photo of his wife and newborn son – “This was a moment.”

His pursuit of transitioning from a photographer to “A Wedding Artist” will inspire any photographer, but his commitment to being more than a wedding photographer is advice EVERY creative should listen to.

“When I’m sitting with the bride, I’m not selling my work, I’m selling me.”

This is how you make yourself different...by being YOU and by selling YOU.

Your story is yours and yours alone.

It’s about you telling that story and helping your bride understand who will be there on their wedding day – The Photographer or The Artist.

A Parting but Paramount Piece of Advice

Joe was and still is a lover of film. He shoots digital as well, but as a former photography lab tech, he knows the craft of creating a great image and the precision a medium like film imposes on a photographer.

Only an artist can appreciate a limitation like this.

At a time when a DSLR can shoot 30 frames per second, it’s hard to imagine a photographer shooting a roll of 36-exposure film in 1.2 seconds.

Joe’s advice about the future of our industry is exactly what you expect from an artist, and it’s something you should read twice.

“Here’s what I hope would happen – That people would start to pay more attention about what they capture in camera rather than thinking about what they can fix.”

On a Personal Note

Joe is a very humble person.

He’s always so generous with his time to teach and inspire, and I treasure the time he took with me as a young photographer many years ago.

I became a better “seer of moments” because of him. That one skill changed me and my career, and it will never leave me.

As you move through your journey as a photographer and perhaps as a wedding professional, never underestimate the power of listening and learning from others.

Yes, YouTube makes it very easy to watch interviews, but if you can, seek out photographers and talk to them in person.

Ask them questions, look at photos together, and really hear what’s in their head and on their heart. You’ll be genuinely surprised by what you discover.

And then don’t forget to make yourself available to others so they might learn from you. This is how you grow as a professional, and that’s what this newsletter is all about for me.

If you’ve been shooting for a year, there’s something you can teach someone who’s been shooting for a month.

Be generous and open, like Joe and so many other legends.

In my slightly biased opinion, that’s how you become a legend.

Here’s the interview with Vanessa Joy and Joe Buissink. Vanessa (vanessajoy.com) is also a brilliant photographer and teacher, and this is well worth watching!

Watch the Video Here

Learning from the legends is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting as a photographer and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 5 minutes]

Do you NEED to hire a second shooter to be a successful wedding photographer?

Short answer - Perhaps.

The longer and more detailed answer - Let’s discuss.

Now, I’m pretty confident that most well-established wedding photographers would say, “Yes, of course, you need a second shooter,” buuuut I’m not like most well-established wedding photographers.

For the first half of my two-decade career, I shot hundreds of wedding completely by myself with no second shooter and was very happy, if I do say so myself.

I shot big weddings and really big weddings and small weddings and even smaller weddings.

So when did I decide to change, or the better question is, WHY did I change?

For me, it was a decision of quality and logistics.

I have always been more than happy to shoot a wedding by myself and I will continue to do so.

Shooting the prep wasn’t a problem. Shooting the reception was never a problem, and I never really had a problem with the ceremony, but in some instances, I wanted more.

Outdoor Weddings

At an outdoor wedding, I can roam free! I move from side to side and get every possible angle from behind the guests with no trouble whatsoever.

Sure, I’m running (literally) from one side to the other, sometimes on my belly, far back and close up. That’s ME and my desire to shoot the wedding so it LOOKS like there are three photographers working.

I like that because I know what I’m getting before I even look at the photos.

The only challenge with outdoor ceremonies is the limited time to get all the shots I want (they’re typically short). So when someone asks how I got so many different shots in a short period of time, I can use my favorite Forrest Gump quote, “I was running!”

Indoor Weddings

Indoor or church weddings are traditionally longer, but access is significantly more restricted...and I can’t run.

During the ceremony, for example, I’ll get shots “down Broadway,” as I call it, which means shooting right down the center of the aisle from somewhere in the back half of the church (usually on sticks). This is common.

I also like getting a shot of the bride looking into the eyes of the groom when they’ll facing each other during his vows to her, as well as the same shot of the groom looking at his soon-to-be wife during her vows to him.

This requires me to move quickly but quietly from one side to the other.

I’ll also get a shot from the balcony if there is one, and a variety of angles in between.

I CAN get all of these angles on my own and have for years, but I still have to hustle. This is where a second shooter becomes really valuable.

I typically position them on the groom’s side of the church, looking towards the bride, gazing lovingly at her husband-to-be.

At this angle, they can also get the bridesmaids, the cute flower girls, the parents in the front (very tough for me to shoot from the back) and anything else creative they can squeeze in while still focusing on the bride.

This leaves me time to focus on everything else (groom, guys, Broadway and balcony) and NOT have to worry about the most important person in the room, the bride.

Once I saw the value of this opportunity, I could shoot more, different, and even better shots, especially at more restrictive venues like churches. And anything I can do to get better photos for my couples is always a huge plus!

The Reception

The second bonus, which was my biggest surprise, is help with the first dance. This typically comes at the beginning of the reception when the couple first arrives.

I would do my thing with my trusty 24-70mm, getting the wides and medium shots, and my second shooter would use a 70-200mm to get some great close-ups - something I could never shoot before.

Once the first dance is over, the rest of the evening is all mine, and I let my second take the rest of the night off.

Of course, every photographer has a different way of working with their second shooter, but that raises a good question, How do you treat your fellow assitant photographers?

I’m not fond of the word “assistant.” I prefer to use “associate photographer,” and I also prefer to treat those who shoot with me as partners, not subordinates.

Perhaps it’s just me, but when you’re working WITH someone rather than FOR someone, you tend to care more - about your work and who you’re working for.

I want my associates to care about both.

Now, I will add a word of caution from one professional to another.

At the end of the day, YOU are ultimately responsible for the photos delivered to your couple. If your associate doesn’t get the shots you need, that’s on you.

In addition to helping your associate know what to shoot, you should also guide them on how to shoot it to your standards.

Do your due diligence and communicate with your associate so you both know what to expect from each other. Like anything else, communication is the key to success.

So, CAN you be a profitable wedding photographer without using a second shooter? Of course, you can.

Is it better to have a second (or third) photographer with you? I suppose that depends on the logistics of the venues, the scope of the day, and your personal work ethic, but in short, there are certainly more advantages to having some help than disadvantages.

As with many things in running your business, the decision is yours, but when you, as a professional photographer, can set aside your need to be the star of the show and focus on delivering the very best for your client, you become TRUE professional.

I’ve written more about becoming a second shooter in Issue #15, and you are more than welcome to check it out.

Whether you use a second shooter or not is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography,”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting as a photographer and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help you.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 6 Minutes]

There are some great perks to being a wedding photographer, but one of the best is that at the end of the week, your “office” cranks up the music and dances the night away.

I love wedding receptions!

The ceremony is over. The portraits and first dance are complete, and now the party can begin! And of course, it wouldn’t really be a party without music.

After more than 500 weddings, I’ve heard a LOT of wedding songs and, not surprisingly, I have a few opinions you may cheer or chuck.

Without further preamble, here are my Top Ten Takes on Wedding Music.

#10 Band or DJ

The short answer is band, of course. There’s no substitute for a live band playing the hits, even when they’re not exactly ready for their North American tour.

While I don’t hate DJs, there’s an energy that live bands create that makes everything special, so I’ll always love live bands even if they can’t cover Shout properly.

#9 You Don’t Have to Like It, but You Have Work To It

Your musical taste should not affect your photo performance at the reception, period.

While this may sound obvious, I have heard photographers groan about hating a particular wedding because of the kind of music that was played.

You can’t HATE a wedding and still perform at your highest level!

Suck it up, Buttercup! Pop in some earplugs and focus on the fun that everyone else is having! You’re there to take photos, not post a review in Rolling Stone.

Being professional sometimes means working under adverse conditions...like The Wobble (which is my Kryptonite, btw).

#8 The DJ Runs the Show

This can be a tough one to swallow, but if there’s a DJ at the helm, they’re steering the ship, and the best thing you can do is enjoy the cruise.

The challenge I sometimes see is when the DJ gets in the groove, grows a personality and thinks they’re David Guetta all of a sudden, and they’re “spinnin’ at the club.

If you see things getting off the rails, check the temperature of the bride and groom and make sure they’re not unhappy. You can always step in and bring the DJ back down to reality if necessary.

Introducing yourself early and getting on the same page with the DJ are also good tips, so you don’t miss a key moment in the room while you’re out hunting for other moments in another room.

#7 Take Care of the Band

At large weddings, it’s not uncommon for a band to be hired from out of state. There’s something cool when you can say, “We found this amazing band from Georgia,” even if you live in Alabama.

Wedding bands, like all wedding vendors, need photos for their promotional pieces, so make sure to grab some cool shots of the band for the bride and groom to remember and share with the band via email once the photos are online.

Introduce yourself before things get rolling, and get a sneak peek at the playlist so you can see when the peak songs will show up, bringing everyone to the dance floor.

#6 Keep the Classics Close

This is a personal tip of mine that you’ll probably never need until you do.

Keep some classic party songs on your phone.

I recommend We Are Family by Sister Sledge, Shout by Otis Day, YMCA by The Village People and Jump Around by House of Pain, among others. You can even ask your bride if she has any favorite party songs from college. Why? I’ll answer that with a story.

The wedding reception lasted six hours, and the bar was open the whole time. That’s a long time for both, if you don’t know.

The bride was sufficiently lubricated near the end of the night and wanted to gather her family up for a big We Are Family dance. The problem was that the DJ didn’t have it and couldn’t find it (this was before streaming and YouTube Music).

The bride was not happy and was just about to make a fuss when I stepped in, told her I had it on my phone (along with the cable to connect to the mixing board).

I handed both to the DJ, and the family dance was a HUGE hit, as were my photos of the entire scene.

Was I the hero? No, because no one remembered it, but IF the song did NOT get played and the bride pitched a fit, that part would have been remembered.

The Fix - A playlist on your phone called Wedding Essentials

#5 Line Dances Are Great, but Terrible

Line dance songs are not great music! Sure, you can tolerate them the first time or even the fifth time you hear them, but imagine hearing The Cupid Shuffle every weekend for 15 years?

BUT, I understand.

These songs are popular because people who can’t or won’t dance can play along, and you’ll get some terrific shots during them...EXCEPT for The Wobble, which is the dumbest song ever, and there are never good photos from this dance. This is usually when I visit The Little Boy’s Room.

I will admit that some of these aren’t terrible. I actually like Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich, but don’t push me much further.

#4 Slow Songs Are Money

Not really a flaming take here, but an important tip - Shoot the slow songs!

This is typically when the couples come out, and your camera should come out and get them being all lovey-dovey.

As a bonus, sometimes the bride & groom aren’t really First Dance fans, so they cut it short or cut it completely.

The slow songs usually bring them out, too, and you can get some touching moments that work great in the Wedding Book.

#3 Alcohol + Music = Fun

It happens at about the halfway point of every wedding.

The guests, especially the wedding party, have been adequately sozzled, and now it’s time for them to try out their favorite dance moves.

I enjoy this part very much, and as long as it doesn’t get too sloppy, and the hits keep coming, this is gold for wedding photographers!

I genuinely believe everyone loves to dance. Sometimes it just takes a little liquid courage to get them out there.

#2 Music Makes Everyone Dance

Not to be confused with drunk dancing, music has a magical quality that nothing can match.

Toes start tapping, shoulders start bouncing, and eventually, even the most stoic of grandmas find themselves on the dancefloor sharing the joy of music with their grandkids.

Now, it does help if the DJ isn’t too hardcore and is willing to mix in a few favorites from the older generations, but everyone was a kid once and music is like a timemachine that brings us all back to “those good ‘ol days.”

#1 The Classics Will Always Prevail

I’ll die on this hill - Music today is NOT as powerful as the 80s, 90s and 2010s.

Yes, there are some new bangers every now and again, but go to a wedding and tell me if Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars, Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC or Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus don’t pull everyone on the dancefloor before the chorus. Even Taylor Swift’s classics pull way stronger than her new “eras.”

If you don’t believe me, check out the setlists from the top wedding bands in the US (and yes, there are stats for them). I can almost promise you that Don’t Stop Believin’‘ by Journey is on every one.

I’m not knockin’ new music. I’m sure there’s a good one out there somewhere, but at a wedding, there’s just more of a comfort level for the hits. Plus, with the different demographics at a wedding, playing that new tune that “the kids are all listenin’ to” just isn’t the best strategy unless you want to mix it really early.

“What about First Dance music?”

That’s a great topic for another day. Until then, cue up Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard and watch the dancefloor fill up!

Wedding music may be an odd topic, but it is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 8 Minutes]

There are many variables around a destination wedding and not all destinations are the same. Let’s look at some of the bigger considerations to pay closer attention to if you’re thinking about adding this to your business.

Driving Distance

If you can drive, but can’t drive home that night (3+ hours), factor in gas.

For a hotel stay, I ask the bride to add a room to the block she’s holding for family. She’s getting a good rate, so that’s reasonable. If she wants me to make my own arrangements, I just add it to their total.

For a two-hour drive, I typically do not charge for gas.

Flying Distance

Same rules apply with a hotel but now you have to pay for a flight.

If I have to book the flight, I take the actual cost of the flight and a rental car (a must-have) and add that to their total collection rate.

I’m pretty transparent with this, and if someone wants to buy the ticket with miles, that’s just fine. Often, a travel agent is employed, which makes things much easier.

When To Arrive

You can always get there early, but you can NEVER be late, so take the earliest flight you can on the day you need to shoot and expect to start working right away.

If you do get a little downtime before, call it a gift.

Extra Time

One of the perks I give my couple when it’s a destination wedding is more photography coverage. They are paying my way there and back, so I give them extra time.

For a Saturday wedding, I would arrive on Friday and give them rehearsal dinner coverage as a bonus.

This is a small but savvy way to blend in with the family and friends and quickly become a member of the party.

I also shoot the entire wedding day as if they purchased full-day coverage.

I’ll negotiate with the bride when she wants to start getting ready, and I’ll be there.

Oftentimes, they might hit the spa that morning, or the guys might grab nine holes before the evening festivities. - Shoot it all.

This is a big event for everyone, so getting a few fun photos of the guys on the links or sipping drinks poolside, or of the girls getting pedis and massages, is all part of this wedding experience... which means they are mandatory.

You don’t have to shoot every minute (they don’t want you there that long, anyway), but when they see those photos and remember those moments, that whole amazing trip will come back to them, and you’ll be the one delivering it.

This is NOT a Vacation

I know photographers who like to take their wives along as assistants and spend an extra day or two after the wedding to share some time together. That’s just fine, but any extras are on YOUR dime and not on THEIR time.

Any assistant (spouse or not) is there for your couple, and you should all be there as perfect professionals.

When You Arrive

I typically check in at the hotel, call the couple to confirm the rehearsal start time, and start shooting postcard shots of the resort and the nearby scenery.

Most families don’t take the time to do this, and I think it’s a nice touch to include in the couple’s photo gallery.

You might also get some time with your newlyweds before the reception, so this photography doubles as reconnaissance (imagine how impressed they’ll be when you get a photo of them on an amazing vista that only took 10 minutes!)

If You Get a Few Days

I’m pretty frugal with my couple’s money, so I only stay as long as necessary, but sometimes you get to spend some extra days shooting different wedding-related events. Use them well!

The couple is going rafting on Thursday? Shoot it! Horseback riding? Shoot it! A fun pizza party lunch for the kids? Yup, shoot it too!

The more you integrate yourself into this close circle of invited wedding guests, the better your photos will be. And by the wedding day, you’ll be “family” and treated as such!

Location Doesn’t Matter

You may be flying in for the wedding while everyone else is driving across town. This destination is special to your couple.

Yes, it might be local for everyone else, but this lets you bring fresh new eyes to an older location and produce incredible photos that the bride and groom have never seen before.

And don’t forget about the wedding venues!

Get contact info for everyone and send them a link to the photos, along with a thank you for taking such good care of everyone.

I’ve actually had a fancy out-of-town venue recommend ME to a local couple, and they hired me! I gave the full royal treatment, and I ended up getting a referral wedding from them for another wedding at that venue four states away!

Pricing a Destination Wedding

This depends on whether you live at a destination spot or not. I do not, and you probably already deciphered this, but I’ll make pricing really easy.

• If it’s a short drive, I consider it “local” for me and priced the same as an in-town wedding.

• If it’s a longer drive and the couple is putting me up in a hotel, I still price it the same as a local wedding, but I add in some gas and add a couple extra hours of coverage (it’s a fair trade, IMO).

• If airfare and a hotel are involved, it doesn’t matter where it is. I give them the full destination coverage and shoot everything they need while I’m there. I price this at my standard 8-hour coverage rate.

• It’s important to itemize the additional coverage and add in a Destination Discount so Dad can see and justify the cost of bringing you along.

It Starts With One

Once have one destination wedding in your portfolio, everything changes.

You’re now able to sell your services to anyone considering a wedding, regardless of location.

You can even add “Available to Travel” and comfortable have a story to tell. It just starts with getting that first wedding out of town.

The Destination Booking Secret

Wedding shows are great places to pick up destination wedding leads because most brides never consider bringing a photographer with them to an out-of-state or out-of-the-country wedding.

This is your hook!

You’ll be at a show and ask a bride about her wedding, and she’ll say, “Oh, I’m getting married in Cancun, and the resort is giving us a photographer.”

Green Light!

I’ve watched the “Resort Photographer” in action, and it’s not what you might think.

Often, the camera and responsibility are given to a random employee - NOT a photographer. They shoot a few shots of the ceremony, the cake and the couple by the beach, then move on to another wedding on the other side of the resort or go back to serving drinks.

When you’re chatting with a bride about HER wedding, you’re selling your attention to her, your care for her and her family and your photography (usually in that order).

It’s your responsibility to show her that when you’re there at her wedding, you’re HER photographer for the entire time, and this wedding experience they’re putting together is too important to give to “the resort.”

This is your chance to tell her about your added coverage.

Take your rate for a full day’s coverage if this were a local wedding ($), along with the rehearsal coverage ($$$), and COMPARE that to the price of your standard 8-hour coverage, it’s a no-brainer.

All she has to do is add another hotel room to the block she’s booking and pay for your flight.

The Cost of Destination Weddings...On You

Is this trip more work for you? Yup, quite a bit.

Is it more time away from your family? You better believe it.

Is it worth it? Yes, it is…if this is something you want for your business.

When my portfolio shows Venice, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Cancun, Colorado, New York, California, Florida and even Branson, Missouri, my prospective brides see someone who has been trusted to travel and take care of people.

I don’t have to “say” anything. The photos speak for themselves.

Shooting destination weddings is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

In business, the connection between you and your client is extremely important.

They want to know, like and trust you, and you want to know, like and trust them, so this business transaction is a naturally good fit for both of you.

Creating a solid client connection is a bit of a dance, but ultimately results in you doing your best work and your client being thrilled with the results.

Wedding photography is a very personal business, and building a level of trust and connection isn’t just important, it’s essential.

It starts when you first meet

You had a great meeting with your couple. Your personalities clicked, they loved your work and decided to hire you to photograph their wedding. Congrats.

Now it’s time for everyone to get to know each other, and one of the very best ways to connect with your newly booked couple is to spend some time with them. And there’s no better way to do that (before the wedding day, of course) than with an engagement session.

Of course, every photographer handles their sessions differently, and every couple is unique. I won’t tell you there’s a right or wrong way, but I will give you my take on this photo shoot and you can modify it for your business.

For me, the Engagement Session is a comfortable and casual photo shoot, and I try not to make it too fancy or complicated.

This is a trial run for both you and your couple, and I’m a huge fan of this photo shoot for four pretty solid reasons.

#1 You get to see how your couple acts and interacts together, away from the interview

Talking with them is one thing, and that meeting can tell you a great deal, but seeing them “be” together is a whole other thing.

At the engagement session, you can now see how they talk with each other, how they walk with each other and how comfortable they really are together as a couple.

This might sound strange, but some couples are amazing together until the camera is on them, which brings us to number two.

#2 You get to see how well the couple acts when being photographed together

If a couple is loving and super comfortable with each other off-camera but super awkward when the camera is pointed their way, you have some work to do.

The wedding day is the one day when everyone looks amazing, but it’s your job to make them feel amazing... even when they don’t.

Here’s where a few prompts come in handy and last week’s post has more on that.

#3 You get to talk with your couple privately about the wedding day and their expectations

They’ve already hired you, so this shoot is a protected place for both of you to talk without parents.

It’s only happened once, but after the engagement session, and spending time with the couple alone, I felt something was off - something that didn’t present itself at the initial meeting.

It’s not uncommon to meet with the bride and her mom for the initial meeting, and this was the first time I met the groom.

I won’t go into any details, but the bottom line is that after spending time with just the couple, I realized we were not a good fit.

While we were shooting, there was a personality conflict that was more than awkward. If this had continued on the wedding day, it would have been bad.

It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was honest, and I helped them find a replacement who was a good fit, making it a win-win for both of us (and a photographer-to-photographer referral is very good).

At the engagement session, you can also talk to the two of them a bit more candidly about what they want, not just what their parents want.

This one small conversation can build a relationship like no other.

#4 The couple gets to see how you work

Each photographer is different and “handles” their couples differently.

Some photographers like to be very hands-on (literally).

They’ll physically move or shift the couple so they are in the exact position they want them to be in.

Others, like myself, are more hands-off and let the couple find their own comfort zone.

This approach does require a bit more work on my part, but it also gives the couple time to work through their posing on their own which helps them be their natural selves rather than a perfectly posed version of someone else.

I like to give some simple prompts and then see what they come up with. “Snuggle up a bit” or “Pretend you love each other” are good icebreakers for them.

Don’t forget, these two are probably NOT professional models or actors, so this session will more than likely be the first time they’re “lovey-dovey” in public.

Be patient, be a little playful and put them at ease.

Letting the couple see how you work is one of the most important reasons for the engagement shoot, and why I (almost) insist on shooting the engagement session.

It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes a friend who is an aspiring photographer wants to gift the couple a photo shoot. I won’t stand in their way, but I also want to extend a quick shoot with me as well.

The important part is for them to see me in action so there are no surprises.

After this shoot, they’ll know how I work. They’ll know I act behind the camera, how I interact with them and what they can expect from me on their wedding day.

This shoot is bigger than the photos

The engagement session might seem like a small shoot, but don’t underestimate how important it really is.

This is the time to genuinely connect with your new clients and prove to them that they made the right decision hiring you.

It may be hard to imagine now, but this photo shoot will be on display in one form or another for your couple’s entire life.

Here’s what I tell my couples who may not feel like it’s important or necessary (and you are free to borrow it if you want).

“What I love most about the engagement session is that this shoot preserves this time in your life. You’ll both look just like this for many more years, and until you have kids, it’ll just be the two of you.

Your wedding day is about this DAY in your life, but your engagement session is about this TIME in your life - when you met, fell in love and started your life journey together.”

And yes, I include the engagement shoot in every one of my collections, and yes, there is a dollar amount attached to it.

That’s important as well.

People tend not to value things that are given to them for free.

Hope this gave you a little more insight into the engagement sessions. If you have any questions about this shoot or how to connect with your couples, give me a shout.

Shooting the engagement session is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 4 Minutes]

You may think you only need prompts for ChatGPT or Claude, but even photographers use this handy technique to get great output, especially in a rush.

And like AI, the better your prompt, the better your results will be.

Even if you’re a hardcore photojournalist (like “Steve” from Issue #46), you’ll still need to do a little prompting when working with your couples.

There’s nothing more awkward than holding your camera in front of two people staring at you waiting for their direction…and you not giving it (try it, I dare ya!)

This week, I’ll provide one small but powerfully potent prompt that will definitely elicit a response from your subjects... whether it’s good or bad is up to you.

Lindy & Drew were such a fun couple to work with!

From the first day we met, through their engagement session and now their big day, they were professionals at having a great time.

After an amazing ceremony, we headed to the reception at The Mayo Hotel, a historic venue in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that was certainly going to redefine the word “fun.”

It was an evening wedding in late September, if I recall, so the sun was already down when we reached the venue.

We had already shot the formal photos at the church, but the couple wanted something with a bit of downtown style, certainly befitting their personality.

The main entrance of The Mayo has a cool, classic arched entrance that looks amazing at night (and pretty darn great in the daylight as well).

As luck would have it, we’d have to pass through this classic entrance to head to the reception, so our location was decided.

Despite their strong desire for a cool photo, they did NOT want to spend a ton of time crafting some elaborate charade-like pose. They were a classy couple (still are) and wanted something cool yet real...but fast.

If you’re keeping score at home, the party is waiting up on the top floor, and nothing starts until the newlyweds get there, so tick-tock!

So I popped on my flash, quickly dialed in my settings to light my happy couple, while also dragging in some of the soft, warm glow of the illuminated hotel portico.

I started with an easy prompt asking them to “smoosh together” and look at me (click-click). I then gave the green light for a quick kiss (click-click).

Of course, I could’ve let them go at this point, and we all would’ve been quite happy with some fun shots commemorating their night at The Mayo.

I had all I needed...but now, for something I wanted.

Did I mention these two were fun? I think I did.

Here’s where my personal power prompt came in quite handy.

“Hey, Drew, whisper something sexy to your bride,” I politely yet playfully prompted, and he knew exactly what to do (click-click-click-click-click)...and scene!

That’s all it took – one quick nudge to get a photo that says everything you need to know about this fantastic couple.

A photo that preserves the FEELINGS between them on this night that will prompt even their grandkids to ask about it.

THIS is a memorable photo!

OK, now the warning.

Q. Will this work for everyone?

A. Of course not!

You have to find a prompt that fits your couple and their personality.

If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person, oh, you’ll get a response...and it probably won’t be the one you had hoped!

I will also add that it’s a combo of WHAT you say and HOW you say it, but I’m sure you figured that one out yourself.

The bottom line is that every photographer needs this kind of ammo in their Bat-Belt of cool tools.

Why does this matter? Great question, I’m so glad you asked!

People get used to standing in front of cellphones for a quick pic, but when you whip out the big gun, that lens can be more than a little intimidating to some, especially when adding big a flash on top.

Your petite and pleasant prompt will put them at ease.

And as a bonus, The Prompt works for anyone in front of your camera - a senior sports photo, a corporate headshot, or a 6-year-old at the park.

Just make it personal, and your prompt will serve you with unforgettable photos and a nice boost of confidence every photographer needs.

Happy prompting!

Finding fast and fun ways to get your couple to look great in their photos is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 8 Minutes]

Hello, new wedding photographer. I’m Chris, and this issue can be considered a “heads up for you.”

You typically say, “Heads up” to people who aren’t paying attention to where they’re headed to prevent them from getting clonked in the head.

I’ve been clonked. You’ll be clonked, too, but hopefully not as many times as I have. And that’s why we’re here today.

When you’re starting out, the list of places you HAVE NOT shot is unfortunately longer than the list of places where you HAVE.

One easy way to remedy this lack of locale experience is to check out the ceremony or reception venue BEFORE the wedding.

Consider this location scouting outing like a Hollywood movie director would before making their film.

With a director, they will take a special trip to find the perfect location for the movie or scene. They’ll gauge the time of day, the path of the sun, the background and even factors like airport flight paths, nearby train crossings or traffic that might get in the way of the perfect scene.

As a wedding photographer, you don’t get to decide much about the location of a church or venue, but you do get to be informed about things that may or may not affect the bride’s plans.

Here’s what you CAN do.

Stop by the locations and even and check out the “lay of the land.”

Pop in, say hi to the staff, and introduce yourself. Most venues have a designated point person. Knowing who that person is and making sure they know you gives you a HUGE advantage on a wedding day.

Let’s start with the church or ceremony venue (if it’s different from the reception site)

Like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, you want answers AND the truth, so questions like these will get you started off right:

• What’s the best route to the ceremony site? - This may sound like a no-brainer, but getting lost as you start your day is not much fun the rest of the day...not that this has ever happened to me three times.

• Where are you going to park that gives you easy access in AND out? - Never underestimate easy access to your car when you’re in a hurry and trying to beat the couple to the reception.

• Where will the sun be when the couple arrives or leaves the ceremony? - You can’t change it, but you can be prepared and avoid any bad situations by positioning yourself in the best location possible.

• Where are the best places to get photos of the couple together? - Also helpful in knowing where the light and scenic places will be before or after the ceremony. Often, there’s a private courtyard or scenic part of the church for moments like a First Look or Bridal Portrait. You might not see it unless you ask.

• Where are the bride and groom going to get ready? - When you’re running back and forth from one room to the other, knowing the shortest path is invaluable.

• What paths will everyone be taking when the ceremony starts? - Again, it’s all about knowing what and where BEFORE it happens. To use a sports analogy, if you want to get a photo of someone stealing second base, you start by positioning your focus ON second base, not the batter or even the runner at first. Planning ahead is the key.

• Are there any special rules here at the church/venue? - This could be your biggest gold nugget of the day. By knowing “the rules,” you’ll add a level of trust to your relationship with The Church Lady (yes, they are real). Trust = Referrals

• Ask if there is anywhere they’d prefer you NOT go during the ceremony. - Like the rules, showing respect to the rule-makers makes the day go SO much smoother, and this one is the one that annoys the church planners the MOST!

• Ask if there is anything you can do to make things easy for them. - This is kind of a dumb question, but it shows you care...even if the answer is “Obey the rules!”

• Are there any photos the venue would like from the wedding? Now you’re showing your value. Making a small gesture like this can lead to a great relationship. Plus, when they hang a 30x40 framed gift print from one of YOUR weddings, a LOT of prospective brides and bridesmaids will see this.

Navigating the ceremony site is essential for your comfort, and when you’re a comfortable photographer, you do your best work.

Before we move to the reception, there is one quick thing to mention about the ceremony site.

When the couple is planning their wedding, the ceremony venue typically gets booked first, even before the wedding photographer or the wedding planner.

If you need a good reason to cozy up to the people who run the church or ceremony sites, THIS is a really good one.

The church coordinators can be somewhat territorial. They want to be assured that the people who will be working with their couples will ALSO be good to work with. (Remember: Trust = Referrals)

They’ll almost always ask who the photographer is (because new or out-of-town photographers are the biggest headache for them.)

Imagine the bride saying, “We haven’t chosen one yet. Do you recommend anyone?” and the venue recommends YOU!

When you earn the trust of the ceremony professionals, you also gain a positive referral or a coveted confirmation if they hire you first.

If you get in good with the pros at the venues, they’ll be MORE than happy to refer you to their couples. And that’s a REALLY big part of becoming a profitable wedding photographer.

On to the reception!

The reception site is an equally important locale, but it’s also a little more challenging because odds are, it won’t look the same when you make your pre-visit.

The biggest benefit of this site is meeting the person coordinating the day for your couple.

Mentioning to your bride that you’ve been talking to the planner and you’re both really excited about what they’re putting together shows that you are prepared for THEIR day and you both actually CARE.

This is also a super pro-level move, so please consider this at every stage in your business.

At this reception venue, you’ll want to know things like:

• Where will the couple be arriving at the venue? - It might not be the same as for the guests, so that’s good to know.

• Where are the good places for shots of the bride and groom? - This will likely be the place for your “sunset shot” or more casual post-ceremony photos, so knowing where to go ahead of time is a big plus.

• Where will the couple depart at the end of the night? - Sure, you can find this out later, but the more you know early, the more you can help your bride as she finalizes the wedding plans.

• What are the necessary timeline details? - When is the first dance? When is the cake cutting? Are there any surprises (confetti canons, special guests, etc)? What’s going to happen at the Big Farewell?

Like the ceremony site, the value of scouting out the reception location in advance is all about knowing what to expect and minimizing any surprises.

I can’t emphasize this enough. Planning makes you more comfortable, and a comfortable wedding photographer shoots better wedding photos.

“But Chris, I have things to do. I don’t have time to visit two places before the wedding day?”

That’s a valid concern, but let me ask you a few questions to help.

What would a BELOW AVERAGE photographer do? Would they visit the sites before the venue? (You’re probably shaking your head from left to right, am I right?)

Do you want this wedding day to be as great as possible?

If you could do something to help make it great, AND make your work better, would you do it?

Preparation is a very small price to pay for success, and the best part is that you only have to do it once!

If practice and preparation are good enough for professional athletes, it’s certainly good enough for professional wedding photographers.

Visiting new venues do a few things that, in my opinion, are extremely valuable and worth the effort.

• You build rapport with the people in charge of the venue. (big win)

• You show respect for the people in charge of the venue. (bigger win)

• You show the people in charge that you care about your couple so much by making this special visit. (really big win)

• You get familiar with the venue. (a super huge win, especially for bigger churches that are built like catacombs right out of the DaVinci Code)

• And here’s a priceless bonus win - When you meet with the venue and chat with them, the odds that this conversation will get back to the bride are extremely good. This makes you look good in your bride’s eyes. And because the venue coordinator now knows YOU and knows you care about your couple, they can confidently refer you as a wedding photographer they trust and one who is WORTHY of their referral.

Bottom line, these visits are what Martha Stewart would call “good things.”

And yes, you can even do it for destination or out-of-town weddings. You’ll just have to do it as soon as you arrive at the destination.

By knowing the rules of the realm, the lay of the land, and the keepers of the keys to the kingdom in advance, you’ll build rapport.

This rapport turns your arrival from “Oh great, another new photographer!” to “Hey, good to see you again!”...and this, as Mastercard used to say, is priceless.

Location scouting the wedding sites is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 5 minutes]

Ah, yes, the weather on a wedding day!

Or as I like to say, “Plan for the best and expect the worst.”

Of course, every bride dreams of her wedding day to be 80 degrees with a whisper of a breeze from the south and daylight until 9:30 pm (or at least until the outdoor ceremony is over, and then it can get dark 40 minutes after that).

I dream of finding a duffel bag full of mob money in a ditch, but that’s probably not going to happen either.

Now, full disclosure - I have shot the wedding of an experienced meteorologist, and I can confidently say that despite her years of training and study of complex weather patterns and recognition of even the slightest barometric pressure deviations, she still couldn’t keep clouds away on her wedding day.

It’s weather...what can you do?

Communicating with your couples is the best plan if there’s potentially bad weather in the forecast.

When a bride plans her wedding day, she’s NOT factoring in things like wind, rain, or even the amount of sunlight available in the evenings.

Of course, the big caveat here is what part of the world you live in, so I’ll leave that up to you.

What I do want to encourage is discussing the weather with your bride in advance as you plan out the timeline of the day.

Yes, you’re a pro, and you can pivot on a dime if things change, but you’re a pro BECAUSE you have thought about things like:

• What if it rains 3 inches the night before the wedding?

• What if it rains 3 inches on the day of the wedding?

• What will that backyard tent reception look like with those 3 inches of rain?

• Where will you take photos despite the rain?

These same scenarios all apply to heat, cold, and wind.

It’s kind of a rite of passage to shoot in a rainstorm during the wedding.

It’s also up to you to make sure you can protect your gear if it does, and KEEP SHOOTING.

Brides don’t care about your gear - they want great photos from their wedding day.

I’ve had the honor of couples married outdoors in the rain, married on a day when it was -20°F (thankfully not outside), and married outside when it was 109°F...and no shade...and no AC for the outdoor reception :(

YOU, as the photographer, have to deal with these conditions, especially if the couple isn’t bothered by them (why shouldn’t they be happy, after all? They just got married!).

But also YOU, as the wedding professional, have to help your bride understand how adverse weather conditions will affect her photos.

One memorable example was the day my couple married during a particularly frigid week.

Of course, no one predicted that a surprisingly beautiful layer of -20°F frost would cover the city 8 hours before she said, “I do.”

She knew it would be winter (calendars are helpful like that), but she also envisioned a shot of her and her groom in the middle of the street right outside her historic church.

It was a beautiful stretch of pavement, with downtown high-rise buildings rising up on both sides.

The problem was that it was really, really, really cold. That’s where planning comes in.

My bride wanted this photo, and I wanted my bride to HAVE this photo. I also didn’t want anyone to die of extreme cold. So here’s how it went down:

I got my couple assembled in the church. I scouted the location, went outside, set the angle, set the exposure, and rushed back in to warm myself. Then we practiced the pose. When everyone was ready, we rushed back outside to capture a shot they will never forget - a frost-covered urban landscape with two newly married kids in a warm embrace, locking lips only for a moment so they didn’t freeze together unexpectedly.

120 seconds of cold and a lifetime to warm up and tell that story to your grandkids.

The best advice I’ve already given is to prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but I’ll give you a small box of bullets to keep in your holster so you can hopefully handle hard weather like a pro.

Your role isn’t to change the weather, but to preserve this day as well as you can, despite the weather and conditions.

Just last week, the weather was perfect.

For the bride and groom, they could not have asked for better weather, but for me, things were much different.

What the couple didn’t see was the evening sun pouring right into the glass wedding chapel, creating unbearable hotspots no amount of fill-flash could fix.

That wasn’t their problem, it was mine, so finding creative ways to get angles that didn’t ruin the overall shot was my responsibility.

Just like every other aspect of being the wedding photographer, this day is not about you.

Wedding photography can be marvelous, but it can also be messy. Your job is to make sure the “marvel” always stays in front of the bride.

You can take the messy home with you later.

Knowing how to handle adverse wedding weather is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time > 5 minutes]

I won’t lie, I do not like asking for testimonials.

It always seems a bit needy, but let’s face the facts - when you’re starting out, you’re needy.

Building a business isn’t easy, and you need to use every morsel of marketing mojo you can find to get things rolling.

I sincerely believe that testimonials are the most powerful tools you can use.

Strategically using a few solid, honest, and heartfelt reviews can put you far ahead of your competition.

But how do you get them?

Early in your wedding career (when you’re still a part-time professional), you’ll be in a situation where you and your couple need each other.

They need a wedding photographer and won’t have a lot of money, and you don’t have a lot of experience and need to shoot some weddings.

The technical term for this is Win-Win.

First, you have to deliver the goods.

You don’t necessarily have to be the most epic wedding photographer to have ever clicked the shutter...because you won’t be, BUT you can be the person who delivers the absolute best care and consideration to the bride on her wedding day.

And then follow that up with good, solid photos that are in focus, well-lit, and that capture the emotion of the wedding day.

Don’t overwhelm the couple with thousands of duplicate shots. Keep the good ones, dump the bads ones - don’t make it complicated.

The next step is to get those photos processed and delivered FAST while your couple are still in The Glow. I need you to work so fast in fact, that your couple will be so impressed by how fast you delivered them, they’ll feel spoiled (that’s a good thing, as Martha would say).

For some real insider info on The Glow, read Issue #12

Here’s where the tactic really takes hold.

After you’ve edited and processed the wedding photos, text the bride when you release the photos online for the couple to see.

Then call or text the bride about six hours LATER and check in to see if they had any problems seeing them.

Since you delivered the photos so quickly, hopefully you’ll get a nice return text with a message like, “Oh my gosh, we LOVE them! I can’t believe you got them to us so fast!”

This is the power of delivering during The Glow if you ever wondered.

This quick text reply is one testimonial.

Now it’s time for the real “ask.”

After a week or so, when she’s back from her honeymoon, give her a call or meet up to deliver a gift print, a proof book or something small yet nice for her to remember her wedding (and you).

First off, congratulate her on a terrific wedding. Then thank her for “allowing you to be a part of such a great day.” (I do this for every bride, btw)

This is the setup because even though the wedding is over, she’ll still remember that you were both in this unique win-win situation not long ago.

Now, politely ask her to write a quick email with some feedback or a brief review of the photos and how the day went overall.

Remember, this is only about two or three weeks after she walked down the aisle, so everything will be very fresh in her mind, AND she has her wedding photos, while most brides married a month ago STILL don’t.

Assure her that she doesn’t have to post on social media or anything public like that. You just want some feedback to help since you’re just starting out.

The goal here is to ask for something that she’ll more than likely already want to write anyway.

Once you get this review, you now have a valuable piece of marketing material.

You can use it in your promotional pieces, add it to a social media post (with permission, of course) and absolutely add it to the homepage of your website or wedding vendor listing.

You don’t have to use the entire thing all at once. Pull a juicy nugget from the testimonial, pop that baby into quote marks, and put it above the fold on your site along with a photo from the wedding.

Social proof is SO important when it comes to something like wedding photography, and testimonials matter to other brides.

Yes, of course, it’s fantastic when a bride refers a friend to you, but you don’t have to wait that long.

If you get three or four great quotes, that’s all you need to generate a lot of interest in your new business.

Stacking those quotes and adding a few “loved them” snips, along with a longer “we were so happy,” gives you more juice without having to squeeze any more oranges.

Pretty soon, you’ll get to the point where your brides will be happy to send you thank you notes without any request at all. Those are the very, very best and have a collection I genuinely cherish!

I look forward to that day when you have a collection of your own.

Gaining valuable testimonials while your couple is still in The Glow is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”

THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event and deliver while your couple is in The Glow, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 8 minutes]

Early in my career, I came across an interesting cat named Steve. I honestly can’t remember his name, but it feels like his name was Steve.

Steve was a fellow Wedding Photojournalist like myself and passionately dedicated to his craft and the purity of photojournalism.

We had a lot in common, and we had extremely vibrant conversations, but Steve had a fatal flaw…

Photojournalism, like any other journalism, if practiced properly, is the communication and preservation of news and information through photographs.

It’s unbiased, unfiltered, and untouched, or to be less poetic, REAL.

I know it’s generalizing, but when I think of photojournalists, I typically picture photographers diving into the dirt, ducking behind bombed-out cars, taking cover while bullets whiz by, and courageously continuing to click.

Those photographers are capturing the horrors of war - photographing soldiers peering behind their guns while they peer behind their cameras - unprotected and unafraid of the death and destruction all around them - just living to “get the shot.”

Weddings aren’t exactly like that, but sometimes it feels that way.

Wedding Photojournalism is everything I just described, minus the bullets.

When I shot my first wedding, I experienced the same rush many war photojournalists experienced. I was looking for that elusive and perfect moment to capture - occasionally ducking behind a piano.

It was exhilarating, and when I committed full-time to weddings, THIS was how I wanted to shoot them. There was a bit problem, though.

At this time in history, this was not contemporary wedding photography.

Even though it was the mid 90’s, wedding photography was still stuck in the very old-school, super-posed traditions of the 80’s.

Lucky for me, two things happened around that same time.

#1 Martha Stewart Weddings (the magazine) launched

#2 The wedding of John Kennedy (JFK’s son) to Carolyn Bessette, shot by Denis Reggie, a relatively unknown wedding photographer in Georgia.

BTW, I mentioned both of these in last week’s issue that started all of this.

Martha Stewart Weddings was different. It featured multi-page wedding spreads with a dozen or more photos from each wedding.

The weddings took place mostly outdoors with lots of fun, crafty, yet designer touches, and the photos featured a new standard for weddings and wedding decor.

Even today, you can see what Martha birthed in the wedding world.

Backyard big-ticket boutique bridal became a big thing. Ever seen a cute chalkboard at a wedding? Martha did it. Cute photos of the couple hung on a string between trees...Martha. Mason jars for drinking glasses…moonshiners, but THEN Martha.

These weddings were all natural, but nothing looked posed or like the common wedding photos of that time. This was very new, very cool, and the wedding industry took notice.

Denis Reggie had been building his wedding business slowly for about a decade when he was asked to shoot a wedding for the Kennedy family. He certainly had the photographic skill, but he also had a close family relative assist in the referral.

This led to the very famous and very private wedding of John Jr. and Carolyn. This wedding was so private that only two photos were ever seen, but those two changed wedding photography forever.

They were unposed and unpretentious - honest and attainable…if you were prepared to capture the authentic moment (and NOT pose it.)

While I was still living in California and still considering wedding photography as my calling. As I mentioned last week, I found myself in a small hotel meeting room listening to Denis speak to a group of photographers. While seeing these photos and hearing him tell his story of that wedding day and his approach, he used the term Wedding Photojournalism, and my life changed.

“That’s what I am!” I said to myself.

From that moment on, I, too, was a Wedding Photojournalist.

Thanks to Martha, this style was catching fire in creative California, but when I moved to Oklahoma a few months later, I was a really different breed of photographer.

I remember showing the photos of my first two weddings to one of the more successful pros in town.

He was younger than most of the wedding photographers in the area, and I was hopeful this fresh, new approach would appeal to a popular, more youthful pro who understood the importance of something new.

He looked at my photos, nodded and said, “Yeah, I do that ‘journalism thing’ a little myself,” then showed me one BW photo of a pair of shoes.

Yeah, you’re probably thinking the same thing I did at the time, but he was a great photographer who recognized the value in my work and right there he offered me the chance to shoot his next wedding with him.

He gave me six rolls of BW film and a hundred bucks for the day. I shot, he processed, and I could buy prints at cost to add to my portfolio. I was happy and he got something new for his clients.

And for the next year, I shot weddings, MY WAY (Sinatra would be so proud). His business grew, and so did my reputation.

A funny thing happened, though. According to my photographer boss, he started booking more weddings because of my work, which was very modern by 1990’s Oklahoma standards.

For me, this was THE WAY I always thought weddings should be shot.

I didn’t pose anything. I looked for secret moments, pure moments that often went unseen by everyone…until they saw the photos.

It was fun working as second shooter/associate, but I needed to take this show on the road…on my own.

When he offered me to join his business as a partner, I declined.

I decided to hang my own shingle as a Wedding Photojournalist.

I know I wasn’t the first, but I was the first in my town to brand himself as one.

And as this new form of wedding photography grew, so did the number of photographers adopting this style.

Some were great at it, some faked it, but it was a cool club, and that’s where I met Steve (remember him from earlier?)

We weren’t friends by any stretch, but we admired each other for our dedication to photojournalism.

He was a real photojournalist. He worked at newspapers and covered real events.

I was just a new wedding photographer, but I think Steve saw me as a kindred spirit.

He saw my work and saw the wholesomeness of genuine moments and I was simply flattered to be seen as a practitioner of the craft.

We both loved shooting and were pretty new to weddings.

For him, weddings were a happy diversion, some extra income, and it sure beat spending a day outside of a courtroom waiting for a glimpse of the “alleged” criminal of the week.

But he took things a bit too seriously.

We kept in touch and loved swapping “wedding war stories,” but one day, the conversation changed.

In a moment of sheepish honesty, he asked about working with the bride and all the family that make up a wedding day.

He wanted to know how I “got around” having to talk to them (or anyone) during the day.

He asked how I “got around” having to shoot the family and bridal party group photos.

I was a bit confused, to say the least, but I replied honestly as well.

“I don’t get ‘around’ them, I shoot them.”

I mean, what else would I say?

“You do?!” he shot back, thoroughly surprised. “I thought you were a photojournalist!”

And then he hopped on this tirade train, I still can’t believe even happened.

For the next ten minutes, I received an amplified earful from him about how a true photojournalist has no interaction during the event.

“They are there to document the day, that’s it.”

I had to ask, “Soooo, you DON’T shoot the wedding groups and family photos?”

“Nope, and I tell my bride that before the wedding so there’s no confusion,” he replied.

OK, I suppose that’s one way to do it.

Our conversation ended shortly after that, and I didn’t hear from Steve for a month or two.

The next time we spoke, he filled my ears with complaints that no one was hiring him, and he couldn’t do this anymore.

Hmmm, I wonder why?

So there is a lesson here, and I’m sure you got it.

When you are a Wedding Photographer. You shoot weddings, which means you shoot every part of the wedding, whether you like it or not.

Your unique and one-of-a-kind, soon-to-be-legendary style takes a backseat when the bride or the mother and father of the bride or the groom or the mother and father of the groom request your photographic talents- even if it goes against your style.

You are there to serve. That’s the gig.

You get to serve with your camera and your exceptional eye instead of serving cake or serving drinks as a bartender, but you are still there to serve.

Don’t be like Steve. He had principles (unusually high ones, unfortunately), and his wedding career died on those principles.

Of course, you get the opportunity to meet with the bride before her wedding (an opportunity I highly recommend, btw).

Use this opportunity to learn as much about the bride just as she’s learning about you.

If you don’t think your work or personality is a good fit, don’t shoot the wedding, BUT remember WHAT you’re doing and WHY you’re doing it.

Do you want to grow your business and become a successful wedding professional, or do you want to be like Steve and have a reputation of being a “great photographer but a real jerk?”

I’m sure you know what goes into a wedding day.

There’s a time for the posed photos, and there’s a time for your unique craftsmanship.

You can and should have principles, but you should also have the heart of a servant.

Combine that with your killer photographic skills, and you have a recipe for greatness.

Providing outstanding service to your couples is just one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week for INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

Believe it or not, there ARE famous wedding photographers out there.

When I started my journey to becoming a wedding photographer, things were very different in the industry.

This was back in the semi-dark ages of the early 90’s, with film and no internet (for me, at least).

I had just shot my first wedding, and I was hooked.

The problem for me was that I shot the wedding as a photojournalist would, and that was NOT how weddings were typically photographed.

Wedding photography back then was VERY traditional, but I didn’t care. I shot it the way I wanted.

Someone smart once said, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear,” and I was ready for my teacher.

I don’t remember how it happened, but I heard a photographer I had read about in a magazine coming to town to speak to a local photography group.

I’ve always loved hearing from professionals in all areas, and I jumped at this chance.

This was the first time I met Denis Reggie.

Hearing him speak about how he got started and his approach to wedding photography was everything I had hoped for and more.

The biggest revelation was when he put a name to his style. His journalistic approach blended with wedding photography was new.

He called it Wedding Photojournalism, and the moment I heard this, I said to myself, “This is what I do!” and from that moment on, I too was a Wedding Photojournalist.

But that was only the start of my education.

I purchased his 8-tape VHS course and devoured it along with anything and everything I could read about this new approach, which had now started to bleed into the more progressive parts of the country including this new wedding magazine called Martha Stewart Weddings.

Thanks to this magazine, it was game on for wedding photographers!

Not long after, I moved to the Midwest, where Wedding Photojournalism was only that thing from THAT magazine...but I was about to change that.

I soon discovered Wedding and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI), and got another chance to learn more from my mentor.

For the next 12 years, I attended WPPI’s annual convention and had the great pleasure of learning more from Denis directly (I’m sure I became That Guy but I didn’t care).

I could sing the praises of the original Wedding Photojournalist for hours, but I’d prefer to share with you some of the things I’ve learned from him and logged in my trusty wedding photography notebook I brought to WPPI every year.

Are you a “P” photographer or an “R” photographer?

P - Planned & Proactive

R - Reality-based & Reactive

Every wedding requires a certain number of P shots.

Here’s the “P Slice” or posed shots

Posed of the Bride

Posed of the Groom

Bride & Groom

Bride & Groom with Wedding Party

Bride & Groom with Both Sets of Parents

Bride & Groom with Bride’s Family

Bride & Groom with Groom’s Family

Of course, there are other “P” shots like the reception decor, perhaps some posed shots of the Bride & Groom at the reception site, but as far as group photos, this is the exact list I offer to my bride and groom. I call it The Essentials, and it’s modify for each couple as needed.

“This is the story of YOUR day, and your wedding photos should reflect it. They’ll be unique to YOU.”

I use this line at wedding shows to give a quick description of how my style differs from the other five photographers at the show.

“Tradition is important to me, and so are the group photos. But they should not take more than 15-20 minutes.”

It’s a common gripe about wedding photographers that they take SO long with the group photos. Brides may not care as much about the groups, but moms do, and they BOTH care about how long it takes. This is how I use this.

“There is nothing I can do to make this day any more beautiful, which is why my style focuses on documenting rather than creating - Capturing the genuine emotion and beauty of your wedding. This is not my version of your wedding day, but your day as it really is.”

I’ve used so many variants of this line. Not because I like how it sounds, but because this is what I do and genuinely believe.

“I shoot a mixture of both color and black and white in a very ‘hands-off’ way. By doing this, I get to document the day in a timeless and genuine manner”

“Hands-Off” is a perfect way to describe my style. Back in the day, wedding photographers were VERY hands-on, posing and controlling everything.

“I don’t shoot a photojournalistic ‘style.’ I AM a Wedding Photojournalist. My style IS my photography.”

Many didn’t understand what PJ (as it became known) was, so this was a good way to differentiate my work from those who shot some black and white and called it photojournalism.

Moving closer for the group photo and shooting a bit wider preserves your flash and allows you more depth of field.

This was a welcomed answer to a technical question. I was really challenged with the group photos early on, and this helped a bunch.

“Foofing your flash - Pointing your flash directly at a nearby wall, rather than at the subject, creating a huge bounce and beautiful light from the side.”

This was described primarily for the bride & groom walking back down the aisle. I’ll admit, this one was challenging for me in those big churches, but I loved it for the first dance.

I’ll close this with a few of his “classic” shots that I adored seeing every visit, listening to the great stories behind their creation. These images had a significant impact on my future work, and I will never forget where the inspiration on my work came from.

I know I didn’t give you much history on Denis Reggie himself.

I can tell you he’s Canon Legend, widely regarded as the world’s preeminent wedding photographer and an extremely kind individual.

I highly recommend you check out his website.

Denis Reggie Photographers

along with this great interview from Seshu from Tiffinbox

Learning from photography masters is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

This is the traditional start to most wedding ceremonies, give or take a few words, and, to most people watching the ceremony, this is Dad’s biggest role at the wedding.

But that’s not really true, is it?

Of course, Dad plays many roles leading up to this day, and as the wedding photographer, recognizing and respecting these roles will help make your job a little easier.

Being a Wedding Day Dad could be one of the toughest jobs ever.

Imagine going to a carnival and taking the entire 1st, 2nd AND 3rd-grade class along.

When you get to the carnival, all three hundred kids stop at the entrance, turn and look at you. Yup, it’s your job to pay for all of them to get in...and eat...and drink...and ride all the rides...all day long...including the games.

That’s kinda the traditional role of a dad on a wedding day. Sure, he can play a couple of games himself and grab a beverage or two, but this carnival is for the kids.

How would this scenario make you feel?

Now, keep that feeling as we chat about how to deal with the dads on a wedding day.

There are traditionally two dads at a wedding - one for the bride, who is paying for everything and one for the groom, who is paying for nothing except for the rehearsal dinner the night before (traditionally speaking)

One is marrying off a daughter, and the other, a son.

Of course, there are variations to the family units, but let’s stick with the more traditional scenario for today.

The Father of the Bride plays a very special role on a wedding day. So special, in fact, that they’ve made five movies about him, all called Father of the Bride and used some pretty big stars like Spencer Tracy, Steve Martin and Andy Garcia as the Leading Dad.

For the Father of the Bride, I recommend offering a little extra love and support.

I don’t have a daughter, so I can’t relate. I don’t know what it feels like to “lose a daughter but gain a son.”

I’m guessing it’s significantly tougher to see your little girl grow up and shift her love, attention and admiration from you, the Main Man of the Manor, to some dude you just met last year.

I’m channeling Steve Martin’s role now to help with the empathy.

His role, up to this point, has been primarily relegated to head check writer, card swiper and financier.

Never forget this fact.

Like him or not, you’re on his payroll today, and he deserves your respect.

What can we do for the Father of the Bride? Surprisingly, a lot, which is good news for you.

• Touch base early to see if he needs anything or has any special requests regarding photos. He also has family and friends, so getting shots of him and the people he’s close to is always a nice gesture.

• Ask the bride if she wants a First Look with her dad. Not all brides want this, but for most, this is the first time Dad is seeing his daughter in her wedding dress, and this is a big deal. You don’t have to go overboard with the presentation, but getting his reaction, seeing his little girl dressed like this on this day, is pretty priceless, as Mastercard would say.

• NOTE: If there’s not an official Dad’s First Look, keep an eye out for him making a surprise entrance.

• Get a photo of him with his parents if you can. As an older person, I can confidently say that you’ll always be your parents’ kid, and this is a special shot (include his daughter as a three-generation bonus)

• Offer to buy him a drink at the reception. He’ll appreciate the irony because he knows he’s the one buying it anyway.

• Check in with him throughout the day. He won’t need anything, but showing that you care (because you do) is a classy move.

• Compliment his toast. It wasn’t easy for him to deliver this one.

• You absolutely MUST get a shot of him with his wife. This is a special day for Mom and Dad, and you want to commemorate it for them.

• At the end of the night, congratulate him on the amazing day. No, he didn’t make many decisions, but again, you KNOW his role, and it’s worth it for him to hear, “This was really a great wedding!” from someone who knows weddings.

What all this boils down to is just being a little nicer to this gentleman - not because he has three more daughters, but because, in most traditional weddings, without his help, this wedding could be vastly different (and possibly not include you.)

On the other side of the aisle, they don’t make a lot of movies about the Father of the Groom.

For these lucky guys, they really just get to be one of the guys.

The Father of the Groom doesn’t have any special “first look” moments. They don’t make special shirts or even have any special dances for him.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve some special attention...just not as much.

What can you do for the Father of the Groom?

• Be nice (of course), offer to shoot anything special for them too, but understand they probably feel like they were just invited to this big party because they are the parents of the groom (That’s not too far from the truth, however)

• Get some shots of Dad helping his son get ready. This shouldn’t be posed, so get what you can, but understand that the groom probably doesn’t dress up that often, so seeing his Dad help with the tie or cufflinks is both memorable and pretty sweet.

• (Traditionally speaking) They didn’t help plan anything. They aren’t paying for anything, but they are “losing” their son, which may be a part of life, but it’s still a tough part of life.

• The Mother of the Groom is probably having a tougher time dealing with this, so supporting her husband is a nice way to support them both.

• Make sure you get a photo of him with his wife.

• Make sure to get a photo of Dad and the groom, which is pretty easy to get during the groomsmen’s shots since Dad is typically part of them.

And that’s about it for the Father of the Groom. Again, this day is a bit different for him, so making him comfortable is always, as Martha Stewart would say, “a good thing.”

At the end of the day, empathy is the word for Dads.

If you’re a guy, you might make a quicker connection with Dad. Guys bond like that.

If you’re a female, you can make a stronger connection with Dad because you understand his feelings. That’s almost a superpower, so don’t underestimate it.

Dad might not be the most important person on a wedding day, but they’ll probably be the least demanding, so take a little extra time, take a little extra care, and Dad will take care of you.

Dealing with dads is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

Video is a great way to build your Substack content and make a stronger connection with your audience. But it’s not easy.

The problem I’ve been having is keeping my eyes on my camera which is the actual window to your audience.

So I decided to hire a friend…or more specifically, make some friends to help me keep me focused and keep my eyes on my viewers.

Introducing, (A drum roll is appropriate) Focus Friends™ your personal video helper!

Yeah, it’s kinda goofy, but it helps and that’s all that matters.

Click the logo and check it out if you need a little help of your own.

You don’t have to shoot video alone any longer. Now you can have a friend!

[Read Time - 7 Minutes]

Just a quick reminder for those new to this newsletter.

INSIDE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY is about the inner game of weddings.

I don’t talk cameras or tech because there are way smarter people who care more about gear than I do.

I talk about the things that I wanted to know when I started out.

I focus more on the things that take a new photographer who wants to build a business shooting weddings deeper into the special nuances of wedding photography.

It’s the stuff that wedding photographers WANT to talk about with each other but are afraid to.

Wedding photographers are typically a bit cagey about their process.

It’s common thinking that talking too much to “the competition” about how they shoot and what they know will reveal the recipe to their secret sauce, and they’ll lose business because of it.

I’ve been blessed to have shot all the weddings a photographer could ever wish to shoot, and now I want to help others experience what it’s like to call themselves a Professional Wedding Photographer.

I’m covering the touchy topics and asking the quarrelsome questions I wanted answers to when I started out.

Most of the time, I could not get a good answer because photographers are notoriously territorial and never want some young hustler upstaging them. I get it.

I had a LOT of questions early on, and I didn’t mind upstaging my elders.

Today, I’m setting the stage for the new hustlers and uncovering the content they need to know before they even ask.

Today’s question: How Many Wedding Photos Should I Deliver To My Couple?

The short answer to this often asked question is not exactly the fan-favorite response,

“It depends” (I know...sorry)

There are just too many variables for a flat numeric response. You have to consider:

• How many hours are you shooting?

• How much variety is there within the “scenes?”

• Is there a reception?

• Is there dancing and drinking (this matters a lot)

• Do you like to shoot a lot or a little?

You can shoot for 10 hours and get 500 great photos.

You can also shoot for 5 hours and 500 great photos.

Here’s my take on this question (ie, the longer REAL version).

When you’re looking through all the photos you’ve shot after a wedding, you’re in the “culling” process.

I call this called Editing.

This should be the only time you decide on a photo’s viability.

To put it another way, that is a bit less creative and more blunt, this should be done once and never again.

When you’re editing down all the photos you took, you’re making an important decision.

You’re choosing whether the photo stays and becomes part of the photographic history of your couple’s wedding day OR it goes and becomes deleted data, never to be seen again... that’s it.

Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.

When I edit, I use a program that lets me color-code the photos one by one.

My color scheme is Green for Yes, Red for No and Hot Pink for a duplicate to edit with a Green.

I cover this whole process in full detail in my Wedding and Event Photo Processing Blueprint - Link at the bottom

From there, I move the Processing part in Lightroom.

Don’t make your life difficult.

Yes or No, and when it’s No, stick to that decision.

“But how do I choose what stays and what goes?” Excellent question, I have an excellent answer.

When you’re editing or culling, consider these factors:

• Is this a great shot or not? If you love it, keep it.

• Would someone else find this shot special? Be compassionate but ruthless on this one. If no one would care, dump it. You’ll find many of your artsy detail shots fall into this category, so try asking this follow-up,

• Does this photo advance the story of the wedding day? Now, you can keep some of your art because it serves a purpose.

• Is it redundant? If someone would love to see this person or this moment, you’re keeping it, BUT if you have multiple shots of the same person or moment, choose 2 to 4 of the best and dump the rest. No one wants to wade through 10 average shots of the same thing when there are clearly three that stand above the rest. Again, be ruthless. Keep the best angle, the best lighting, or the best expression, and dump the rest.

• Is the person in the photo memorable? This is a bit of a downer, but think of it this way - If someone in one of your shots died suddenly and this was the last photo of them, would someone be grateful you shot this?

This has happened quite often over the years, and getting this call is horrible.

What you DO NOT want to say is, “Yeah, I did shoot them but I think I tossed it because I didn’t like the shot.”

Of course, you would never say this, but if you did toss a shot unnecessarily, you’d have to live with that (This is also why I keep the Discards for each wedding for a few weeks after the wedding. You never know)

Everyone is important, but not every photo you take is important.

Try to make everyone look good, and the editing part goes a lot smoother.

In the end, you should have the best moments with all the best people, plus a great collection of guests and details to round everything out.

My goal is always to show the photos to someone who wasn’t there (usually my wife), and if she “felt” like she was there, I did my job.

Now for the caveat, because I’ve looked at a LOT of other photographers’ weddings (both keepers and discards).

DON’T ever think you can give your couple too many shots because you can’t.

If you’re following the guidelines above, your shots are either awesome to everyone or special to someone.

NOTE: When you’re shooting an extra special person (Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, etc), make sure you get a few extra snaps of them so you know you’ll have a good one.

That’s pretty much wedding SOP (standard operating procedure).

And to answer your next question - If they’ve been invited to the wedding, they’re special enough to get a photo of them, so you don’t have to make that hard decision.

That’s one reason I like to try to capture everyone having a good time at least once.

So, I know what I just said sounded a bit conflicting.

Be ruthless when you edit, but keep anything special, and btw, everyone is special.

Yes, it is conflicting, but it’s also a dance.

A significant part of your craft is preserving this day and everyone in it, but it’s ALSO picturing this wedding through the eyes of your couple and their family.

If you’ve ever been part of a wedding, you’ll know it goes by very fast.

What happens before the wedding is easily forgotten (Read last week’s issue if you want more on that).

Once the reception gets into gear, the prep and the ceremony seem further and further away.

This is why you’re here, right?

You’ll get better at “seeing the moments” the more you shoot.

If you’re just starting out, err on the side of keeping more than you might like and creating a Photographer’s Favorites folder that highlights your very best (lighting, angle, expression) moments. This part comes at the end, when you’re categorizing things.

Like any creative endeavor, as you get better at shooting and preserving moments, you’ll also get better at trimming out the things that get in the way of telling a great story.

And that does bring up a really great point I just thought of...The Wedding Book!

This album, as most like to call it, is your best of the best collection of images.

If your couple loves the image and it’s integral to the story, it’ll go in here.

Now you don’t have to sweat giving them a few too many (just not a few hundred:)

Read more on Wedding Books here

So, at the end of the day, the loaded question of How Many Wedding Photos Should I Deliver To My Couple? comes down to you.

I’ve talked with former brides I didn’t have the opportunity to work with and heard their stories.

I’ve heard how this person or that person wasn’t photographed and how unhappy they were because of it.

This is a tough one to hear because, yes, the photographer hired should’ve tried to get everyone, BUT, the bride should’ve also mentioned the special people, AND yes, the photographer should’ve asked if there were special people to focus on.

Now you see a bit more of how this entire process is a dance.

Communication is essential to making everyone happy.

So, if you were to pin me down and force me to answer, How Many Wedding Photos Should I Deliver To My Couple? I’d tell you, “As many as you need to tell the story of the day, including all the details and all the people that make this story complete…now please get off of me!”

What I HIGHLY encourage you NOT to say is, “I deliver 500 photos,” which I’ve seen a LOT of photographers do as a marketing line to impress potential brides.

You don’t know how many photos you’ll shoot.

You don’t know how long you’ll be there.

You don’t know IF there will even be enough good things to shoot to fill your 500-image quota.

What happens if you only have 450 shots that should be in your gallery? Will you add in 50 that should be in the trash?

And what happens if you have 600 great shots? Will you trash them because that’s what you said you’d deliver, and you don’t want to offend your other clients?

Of course, more time typically yields more photos, and different weddings yield more opportunities to take more photos, but the creative process of retelling the story of this wedding day with photos is about your ability to preserve the day as it happens.

Again, it’s up to you.

Serve your couple.

Serve their families.

Serve their guests.

Be a good storyteller and tell the best story you can.

How many photos you deliver to your couple is one part of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 5 Minutes]

For the wedding photographer, the day typically starts with the hair and makeup for the female members of the bridal party.

This is one of my favorite parts because it’s completely unscripted, often very emotional and highly creative.

The BTS (behind the scenes) specifically of the bridal party is much more elaborate than a group of dudes putting on their suits and shoes and heading to the ceremony.

Of course, there’s a little more to it, but not much.

For the ladies, this backstage gathering is an event within itself.

Often taking place at a home or hotel room, The Prep, as I call it, is a time-honored ritual of getting ready for the wedding.

All the bridesmaids, moms, aunts and cousins gather together to get their hair and makeup professionally applied, put on their special dresses (that they will probably only wear once) and then crescendo to the bride putting on her wedding dress.

This pregame can last anywhere from 2-6 hours, depending on how many professionals are helping with the process.

In the big picture of the day, many think this prep holds little value. Sure, it’s just the “girls getting ready,” and while that seems like a small thing, as I tell my brides in our initial meeting, “This is part of the day that is immediately forgotten once the ceremony starts.”

The girls gathered together, drinking mimosas in their monogrammed silk robes, laughing, talking, singing, dancing, and bonding to celebrate the greatest day in the life of their friend, sister, or daughter is not insignificant, and it should not be forgotten, in my opinion.

That’s the power of your wedding photos.

For those who aren’t in the room where the pregame is held, it might not sound like anything “happens”...but you know differently.

This is where, for a short time, everything important happens - and you have a camera.

When Mom cries as she zips up her daughter’s dress

When the bridesmaids give a hilariously heartfelt toast to the last member of their college friend group to get married

When the bride’s grandmother presents her with a family heirloom for her “something borrowed”

When the bride got an uncomfortable amount of tule wadded up under her wedding dress and the maid of honor had to go “down under” to free it

Yes, these all happened and these are small yet powerfully meaningful moments that disappear when the ceremony starts.

Once the bride starts down the aisle, everything that happened before quickly becomes a distant memory.

And this is the heart of your mission - preserving those forgotten moments.

“But Chris, is this really that important?”

You might not consider yourself a storyteller, but don’t forget, your eyes are the only ones NOT emotionally invested in this day.

You might not feel like one, but you and your camera are there to observe and preserve, and once you click that shutter, the storytelling begins...and the fun begins.

When you first meet with your bride, you get to hear about all her plans and aspirations for the day.

When the prep starts on the wedding day, the plans are in motion, and it’s game on.

2-6 hours of hair and makeup might seem like a long time, but put yourself in the mind of the bride.

She’s about to say the two most powerful words she’ll ever say to another person and seal it with a life commitment.

Do you think she wants to look good? Yup!

Do you think she might be a bit nervous? Yup again!

This is what makes your photos of this backstage so impactful!

Only a select few people get to be there in person for this time, but with your photos, you get to capture and preserve the emotions - the calm before the awesome craziness of a wedding reception.

This is the quiet final chapter of the bride-to-be surrounded by the most important people in her life.

This is also the place where about 40% of the wedding day details are found.

And this is why the preparation photos matter.

This is your wedding gift to the happy couple.

You get to look, SEE, and bring all of these wonderful details back to the bride.

And as a bonus, you can give the groom an answer to his burning question, “Why in the world did it take six hours to get ready?!”

The ceremony is the heart of your couple’s wedding day story, the reception is the climax, but the prep is where it all begins.

This is the prologue to the day. Where characters are revealed and where you build that initial connection in the story.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. This might sound a little too romantic for the role of a wedding photographer.

I assure you, there’s nothing “too” about it.

It is that good.

The importance of shooting the bride’s BTS is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time > 7 Minutes]

When you’re starting as a wedding photographer, one of the most powerful things you have is your time and attention.

You may not have experience. You may not have a huge portfolio, but you do have your time and attention, and you should offer that in abundance.

Of course, when you’re super famous and have a full calendar, you should still offer your time and attention in abundance (you’re a pro, after all, and that’s what pros do).

BUT when you’re still building up to super-photographer-stardom, the initial meeting with your client can be a tremendous break for your burgeoning business.

When you’re meeting with your client for the first time, this is your first and BEST opportunity to make a connection.

Maybe it’ll end with a wedding on the “the books,” or maybe it’ll end with you deciding, “This isn’t a good fit.” That’s what you’re there to find out.

Here are 6.5 things you can use to make this meeting as valuable as possible.

1. Start With Listening

As much as you’d love to whip out those photos and start talking about how shiny and fast your camera is, remember the classic business axiom,

It’s NOT about you!

Ask questions to learn more about the people sitting in front of you.

Pro Tip: What you learn can be used in how you craft what you’ll say when it’s time to talk.

• “Tell me about your wedding.” (This is always my first question, btw)

• “Have you had any challenges with the planning?” (This sets you up to help fix them)

• “How did you and Mr. Perfect meet?” (Always brings a smile, and it sets a nice tone for the rest of the meeting)

Brides LOVE talking about their day, so wind ‘em up, put on your ears and take it all in. Your job here is to listen, learn and show genuine interest.

You can take notes if you want, but I prefer mental notes you can call on later. “You mentioned wanting to find ___. Have you tried ___?”

Remember, you’re quite possibly the most objective and valuable resource she can have, so don’t be afraid to help if you can.

2. Set a Good Vibe

You’re not selling her a new car, so don’t act like it. Get her excited about her wedding day by talking about weddings. Everyone knows this is a sales meeting, but the less you sell, and the more you storytell, the better your connection will be.

3. Show...with Stories

OK, there’ll be a point when you can pull out your books, prints or tablet and show off your work.

My best recommendation is to add the stories behind the photos.

Put your bride right into those moments. Describe what happened before and what happened after. How did THIS moment develop?

This is especially helpful if you’re new and don’t have a ton of photos to show.

When I was starting, I had eight photos in my portfolio, yes, eight...and one of them was really out of focus!

But each one had the full story behind it - Why I shot it, what the couple was doing to lead up to it, and how I “intentionally” shot that one completely out of focus...and why it was awesome.

Everyone loves a good story, so tell one! Hopefully, you have more than eight photos, but if not, I can confidently tell you that it CAN be done!

4. Communicate Your Process

I try to weave this into each photo - talking about what I like to do and how that achieves the results I’m going for. It’s not technical, it’s narrative.

When you describe the method behind your madness, brides will see your creative brilliance and appreciate it.

When they hear the passion in your process, they’ll be drawn to it and want that for their wedding.

The ultimate goal is to make them feel like you’re someone they can trust with their day.

5. Be Confident With Your Rates

I don’t know who likes to talk about money, but prepare yourself, because you’ll have to... and it will be fine.

Be confident and firm.

Don’t forget, you’re offering an extremely valuable service to your bride, her groom, her family and her friends…and it’s worth every penny.

Talk benefits, not features.

I prefer to turn this into a conversation.

Ask what they’ll need, and then build a package or find one that fits into your existing packages.

• What time is the ceremony? (This sets the timeline)

• Would you like shots of getting your hair and makeup done? (After you’ve shown all these amazing shots, do you think she’ll say no?)

• What time were you thinking about leaving at the end of the night? (Showing a cool farewell shot helps make sure you’re there for the duration)

These are all leading questions that help build your wedding coverage. There’s no such thing as a three-hour wedding day, but there might only be a budget for three hours.

Start with what’s really going to happen, build up the story (with your photos), and then let the bride decide what she wants.

Hint: The bride wants EVERYTHING, so try to make it happen for her and build accordingly.

6. Always End With Gratitude

Whether they book you or not, wedding photography is a relationship business, and you are a wedding professional.

Be grateful for this time and this opportunity to chat about something you’re passionate about.

Your friends are already tired of hearing you wax poetic about taking photos, so cherish this time with a captive audience.

And remember, you might be too expensive for them today, but one of their bridesmaids will be able to afford you tomorrow.

Be their guide. Be their resource, and be the person who sees the wedding day as clearly as they do.

You do that, and you’ll create more than just a happy bride - you’ll create a fan for life.

6.5 My Personal Approach (it’s worth a .5 at least)

I try to spend at least half the meeting discussing something other than wedding photography.

It is, after all, pretty self-explanatory, so I try to have some fun.

The other half, I try to dedicate to the education of my style and approach

• How I photograph differently

• How I care for the bride and groom and their families,

• How I’m different from other photographers (in broad, general terms).

I certainly don’t call photographers out by name, but the bride needs to hear that photographers do things differently and act differently.

I’m a creative person with strong empathy and a strong protective instinct. That’s not the norm with other creative, artistic types.

I talk about the differences in how I see, how I act and how I shoot.

I also use things the bride mentioned and weave those “mental notes” into the conversation.

That’s how to demonstrate you were listening like a pro and not just reciting a rehearsed script.

This is your chance to show your personality.

This is your chance to joke with them, be serious with them, be emotional with them and SHOW them how you see their wedding day.

Describe your work in such detail that they’ll picture their wedding day unfolding right there, and make it so attractive that they couldn’t see anyone else shooting their wedding.

This is how you draw them in.

This kind of storytelling will give them insight into your personality.

It will also demonstrate your care, your attention, and, more importantly, your heart.

That’s really what it’s all about.

Of course, they’re hiring you for your technical skills, but your technical skills are not the most important thing…plus that’s boring.

I’ve seen brilliant photographers who are terrible at connecting with people.

Imagine a photographer who is bad with crowds - surround them with 300-400 people, add in some loud music, alcohol and dancing, and you’re going to see some spectacular-ly bad photos.

That’s the wrong person in the wrong place.

A great wedding photographer cares about people.

They care about moments.

They care about their clients and use their photography skills to preserve this day for them.

Someone like this thrives in crowds of people.

Show your client that at her wedding, you are the right person in the right place.

This will make your meeting and your connection the start of something amazing!

Creating a successful initial client meeting is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time < 5 Minutes]

The moment I walked into the house, I thought only one thing, “I’ve got to shoot this!”

For this wedding, the “prep” or “pregame,” as I call it, took place at the bride’s house.

This is my favorite place for the prep because it’s personal.

As I’ve mentioned, a wedding day is made up of a bunch of small, hand-selected personal touches that, when combined together, create a wedding day perfectly customized to the bride.

Every wedding is unique and special, and when the pregame takes place at the bride’s home, the specialness levels up significantly.

When I walked into the bride’s home, the first thing I saw was a large, very beautiful grand staircase leading up to the second floor.

For photographers, a staircase is like a frame that not only adds architectural interest to the photo but also creates natural leading lines that highlight the subject.

Remember Jack Dawson watching Rose walk down the staircase on the Titanic? Now THAT’s a staircase shot!

So, I arrive, and the bride invites me upstairs, where everyone is getting hair and makeup done.

Everything progresses nicely, but as I pass from one room to another, getting shots of each girl in some stage of preparation, it keeps calling me, “Hey, don’t cha want to get a shot of me!”

Yes, in my story, the staircase talks and it’s inviting me, no, taunting me to get a photo.

The problem is that everything is happening upstairs, and the bride does NOT want a bridal photo on the staircase.

But it’s my problem, so I get back to work.

After the hair and makeup are finished, the bridesmaids head to one room to get their dresses on while the bride and her mom head to the master bedroom to get her wedding dress on.

As I passed by the staircase, I gave a little whisper, “Don’t worry, I got you.”

The bride is now in her dress, and I step out of the bedroom to see the girls walking down the staircase and beginning to assemble at the base of the stairs for the big reveal...and an added surprise.

I popped back into the room and got a couple more shots of the bride as she walked out into the hall toward the staircase.

“I’ll be there in a sec - why don’t you head down?” I told her and turned back toward the bedroom.

Then, as soon as the bride made it a few steps past me, I turned around just as she hit the first step of the staircase. “I told you I’d be back,” I said in my mind and snapped off three or four shots of the bride’s descent down the stairs.

I used the curve of the two rails to lead the eye perfectly to the bride as she gave her elegant dress a slight tug, moving down each step.

This was the shot I had planned.

Now, for you, the polite yet pedantic art critic, you might be looking at this photo and poo-pooing the (over)use of grain and contrast. You might not like the muted colors either, and that’s totally fair. The photo is 20 years old, and my artistic tastes have matured since then.

As I mentioned 53 words ago, this was a shot that I planned. But there is more to the story…something cool.

I’m not an artist, but sometimes I pretend to be one, and this was one of those days.

Wedding photographers are inspired by a LOT of brilliant photographers who often go to tremendous lengths to get an amazing photo. We all want that feeling that we created something incredible.

I wanted this shot. I found the opportunity, and I took it. It’s a REAL photo of a REAL moment, so my journalistic integrity remains intact.

But as a journalistic wedding photographer, this wasn’t the end of the story.

After I snapped off the three or four shots, I rushed around the banister behind the bride to get the shot of the bridesmaids looking up at her.

In front of them, however, was the surprise...Dad...seeing his little girl for the first time in her wedding dress.

I pressed my finger as quickly as possible, getting as many shots as I could of Dad, his expression and the bridesmaids and their expressions, gently out of focus behind him.

And that’s really the part of the story that makes this photo so special for me.

This moment wasn’t about me. It was about the bride.

When I see this photo, I remember all these pieces coming together with a little planning, a little luck and an itchy trigger finger.

For the bride, this is the moment when she put on her wedding dress and headed down the stairs of her childhood home to marry the man of her dreams.

For Dad, this is the moment when his little girl becomes a woman right before his eyes.

Did I romanticize that too much?

As I mentioned in my last Photo Breakdown a few months ago (Issue #20, if you’re keeping score at home), this isn’t the first time I’ve told this story.

A significant part of my selling process is telling the stories behind the moments.

Perhaps I do this because I’m not a very good salesperson, but for me, THE MOMENTS are what the wedding is all about, and they sell my work better than anything I can say.

This particular moment is extremely special to me because I know how special it was for the bride and her dad. It’s a moment you can’t put a price on.

I don’t think a bride is simply renting a photographer for her wedding day – she’s hiring a visual scribe to preserve the essence of her wedding day in photos (now THAT’s romanticizing!)

Unless you’re content with simply selling your services, take this opportunity as an artist or storyteller to SHOW your passion to your prospective bride through your work.

I can tell with great certainty that it makes the selling process a heckuva lot more fun for you, and even if the bride doesn’t hire you, she’ll never be able to say you’re not passionate about what you do.

Selling with photos and stories is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

Everyone wants to do their best and inevitably, what’s “best” for one vendor isn’t going to be the “best” for another.

This is where conflict arises.

It’s doesn’t happen at a large scale often but little instances add up and can make things challenging if you don’t know how to deal with them.

Today’s questions comes from and it’s an important one.

Thanks Kinga for asking!

Thanks for watching!

If you have a question you’d like answered in an Inside Wedding Photography “Live” or weekly issue of the newsletter, pop it below in the comments.

If you’d like to be notified each Sunday morning when a new issue is released, click that beautiful blue subscribe button (and thank you in advance). I also share valuable tips and tales in Notes all week.

Subscribe now

If you know someone who’d love this juicy insider information, click this equally beautiful and benevolent button here.

Share Inside Wedding Photography

If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.

Photo Processing Blueprint

[Read Time - 7 Minutes]

If you’re a sibling or have been a member of any team of any kind, you know what competition feels like.

Competition within the family has an even greater dynamic.

On a wedding day, there are several highly qualified, extremely talented wedding professionals, all doing their best to serve one client...a client you share.

Everyone wants to feel special and loved for the work they do, and they are all contending for the approval of the same client (now you get the sibling reference).

I admit I’m unaware of any serious competitive rifts between the cater and the cake decorator, or the florist and the DJ, but I am keenly aware of the rift between the Wedding Photographer and the Wedding Coordinator (NOT the designer, though sometimes they do both).

Some might say it’s less of a competition and more of a power play, but “tomayto” - “tomahto” it’s still real.

BUT can this professional rivalry somehow benefit you both?

I think it can...if you know how to approach it.

Let’s back up for a sec and ask the obvious question: Why Are You (Sometimes) at Odds anyway? You play totally different roles on a wedding day.

Perhaps we should define things for those who may not have experienced this before.

Wedding photographers and wedding coordinators have vastly different duties, granted, but both want the same thing - a flawless wedding day for their client (their shared client).

But I’ll be honest, it is easy to feel like we’re working against each other instead of with each other. How, you may ask?

The short answer is that both have significant control and sway over the bride regarding the day’s events, and this control can get competitive.

You want examples? OK, to help keep score at home, I’ll make “YOU,” the photographer and assign “THEY” as the coordinator.

When these worlds collide, there’s clear potential for tension.

You both think your job is the most important...and you’re both right, but in different ways.

How do we find common ground?

Let’s hit a few of the larger pain points that nag us both and see how to solve them.

The Timeline Tug-of-War

The Problem: You want enough time for the perfect shots - coordinators just want to keep everything on time.

The Fix: Get together early. Ask for their timeline and communicate your major needs before the wedding week. You know what your bride wants, and they know what their bride wants. Since you both have the same bride, figure out a timeline you can both play with so you both deliver for your bride.

The Vanishing Act

The Problem: You’re doing what you do best, moving around and getting great shots (sometimes inside and sometimes outside), but suddenly, the schedule changes, and you’re not where the coordinator wants you to be at that moment.

The Fix: Until the party moves into All Dancing Mode for the rest of the night, check in with the coordinator now and again. Just a simple “Hey, I’m popping outside to get a sunset shot, anything coming?” shows you care about them, and it earns you major respect. It might seem like you’re checking in with Mom, but it’s not that bad, and it beats having them text you all night.

The Ceremony Slink

The Problem: You want to get a unique shot during the ceremony, but the coordinator doesn’t approve of our movements.

The Fix: This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you really feel the tension. Here’s something else you can chat about BEFORE the wedding to avoid any surprises for anyone. You’re trying to get this photo for your bride, after all. This applies to the Church Lady (yes, they are real) as well, since they are the coordinator and representative for the church.

Family Formal Funny Business

The Problem: Family formals can take forever, especially when family members wander away, or there are surprise “special requests.”

The Fix: Share the shot list with the coordinator in advance so they can help keep things on time. They talk with the bride and mom more than you do, so they can help avoid unforeseen delays before they happen. Remember, they want the formals to wrap up just as fast as you do.

Like it or lump it, the ONLY one in charge at a wedding is the bride and/or mom.

When you try to trump this truth, any power play can easily backfire.

You think you’re in charge because, well... you’re The Wedding Photographer, and The Coordinator thinks they’re in charge because they coordinate everything. This is far too common, but when the struggle for supreme authority goes too far, no one wins.

Your bride certainly does NOT want to see her hired guns pointed at one another, and it’s just a bad look for the family and guests to see, especially when your actions can affect a successful outcome of the day.

Don’t ever forget that your potential referrals are always watching you.

While there’s no magic potion for calming an overly controlling coordinator, there are some clever tactics you can try to cool things off.

Ask for their opinion

This one goes way back to How to Win Friends and Influence People, but it’s still as powerful today as ever.

Coordinators are creative people, but after a day of telling everyone to go there and do that, they might feel more bossy than brilliant.

Get them on your side by asking if they know a cool place to take the couple or discuss the farewell with them. BE NICE!

Anything that shows you care about what they think about will break down any unnecessary barriers your bravado (or bravada) may have built.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

It’s tough to be on the wrong page when you BOTH wrote the planning guide for this wedding, but if you fail to work at it, it can still happen.

Another big part of communicating is giving each other a heads-up for anything unexpected.

Your access allows you to hear things that may come in handy for your coordinator at some point during the day. Sharing any tips or nuggets of caution might prevent something bad from happening, and just might keep a wedding day from turning ugly and making you both look bad.

You and the coordinator are two people who can control and fix things. You gain nothing by hoarding information or by taking all the glory.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work, and that’s really what all of this competitive cooperation comes down to - TEAMWORK.

This one day might seem like a big deal, but the odds are pretty good you’ll see each other again, so building a relationship is essential.

You want to build a good rapport so you’ll have someone looking out for you today AND looking out for you tomorrow, when another bride is looking for a wedding photographer and asks their coordinator friend for a referral.

You don’t have to be besties, but creating a solid professional respect is a MUST.

Remember: YOU own the Secret Weapon

Oh, did I forget to mention that while you’re serving your bride by taking amazing photos of the details and decor (something the coordinator probably had a hand in), you’re also creating a much needed portfolio for the coordinator?

Yuuuup!

YOUR photos help other vendors gain future business, and by showing some professional respect, a little grace (because we all need it), and free photos to the coordinator, you’ll gain more respect than you could ever pay for (now we’re talking Power Play).

I know it’s easy for me to say because I don’t have a coordinator breathing down my neck at the moment, but your professionalism doesn’t come all at once - it’s built little by little.

Each action (or reaction) either adds or subtracts another brick to the tower of your reputation. Build it as high and as strong as you can, and soon others will add bricks for you.

Successfully dealing with the wedding coordinators is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography” and THIS is what I write about each week.

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