Allow Me To Introduce You To Bridezilla

Issue #18

[Read Time: 5 minutes]

I LOVE a good drama on TV or a movie…but only on TV or a movie. Real life drama? Not so much.

I decided early in my career that I did not want any drama in my business life. Of course, this is easier said than done, especially when it comes to weddings - a very special day can easily be filled with drama...but only if you let it.

There are things you can control and things you cannot. WHO I choose to work with is one of those things I can control, which is why I value the initial meeting with the bride so much.

Of course, you may do things your way, but I refuse to book a wedding with a bride without a thorough conversation with her at some point. Why?

I want to know what she’s like.

I want to know her personality.

I want to know what she likes and doesn’t like.

I want to know her expectations, and, most importantly,

I want to know what this day means to her.

The answer to this question is key.

You might be familiar with the saying, but in the wedding world, being a Queen for the Day refers to the fact that on this day, the wedding day, everything will go perfectly for the bride (no matter what).

Everyone will cater to her needs and do everything possible to make this day perfect because that’s what “the queen” wants.

The problem with this scenario is that it isn’t real life.

Sure, we can all pretend this is the greatest day that will ever be and work like crazy to make sure nothing goes wrong for the bride, but sometimes things do.

When this happens to the “queen,” heads usually roll, and this is the part I’m uncomfortable with (imagine the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland).

I’ve seen it, and it is not a pretty sight.

Say hello to Bridezilla.

Now, before you get a bad opinion of Bridezilla, know this - she’s not a bad person. Under normal circumstances, she’s usually very sweet and caring, loves kids and dogs, and enjoys long walks on the beach.

She’s just a normal person with a specific plan for her wedding day. Oh, she also doesn’t handle the unexpected well...especially when it involves her day.

Brides like these are tough to please (feel free to tattoo that one to the palm of your hand). If everything isn’t perfect, heads will roll.

Like a tough boss, a person like this creates a tough environment to work in, and no one likes to work in a situation that makes them uncomfortable.

Or maybe it’s just me.

When you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to do your best work, and that’s just adding fuel to the fire.

There is a different kind of bride

My bride (and I hope your bride) is different.

She’s still the queen, and we’ll still give her loads of attention. This is her wedding day, after all.

Of course, she wants this day to be perfect, but if it’s not, she’s not going to punish anyone.

She knows how many moving parts there are on this one day and understands the reality of things. This day is just another day. Yes, it’s a fantastic day, but for the Non-Bridezilla, it’s still a day.

I like to call it A Day in the Life of the Queen.

Everyone likes to be pampered a little, but for this queen, in order for it to be truly perfect, she’ll need to spend it with those she loves.

She wants to share this day with others.

She wants to be pampered AND pamper those close to her.

She doesn’t want to boss everyone around.

She wants to laugh and share everything good.

She wants to make this day amazing, but the only way it will be is if she gets to share it with everyone.

This is the type of bride who is a pleasure to work with.

And you want to know the ironic part? A brides like this will actually make you work even harder than you already do!

We all like to give a little extra to those who genuinely appreciate what we do.

It’s the difference between being there because you have to be versus being there because you want to be.

The mindset and motivation are very different.

Sadly, not every bride is like this, and your job is more challenging when this happens.

You’ll have to make tough decisions at times.

You may have to book the wedding because it’s a good business opportunity (that’s code for “it pays well”).

Hopefully, you won’t have to do this too many times, and hopefully, you’ll come out of the day with only a few scars.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

What can you do when you find your bride is actually a Closet Bridezilla?

Yes, it does happen. You do your due diligence, and despite your best efforts, you find that your lovely bride has a bit of a dark side.

Don’t sweat it.

I can tell you that the best defense against a Bridezilla is a strong and syrupy-sweet offense. Don’t go overboard, and don’t “act” like you care if you don’t.

• Be a great advocate for your bride.

• Be compassionate and assure the bride that everything is going well.

• Go above and beyond and fix whatever is bugging her.

• Be the strong and steady one and always remind her, “No matter what, I’ll make sure the wedding doesn’t start without you” (It’s cute, a bit clever, and you can borrow that line).

Believe it or not, THIS is a way to gain massive points with Mom and the bridesmaids - by being the coolest head in the room and the most calming presence possible.

Everyone sees the little things you do, especially the bridesmaids.

I’ve been fortunate to shoot weddings for brides who were once members of another wedding party, and the one main reason I was the only choice for them was how I carried myself at a closet bridezilla’s wedding.

Look, you always have a choice in business. You can go the extra mile or, if you choose, do what you’re supposed to do...the minimum.

I’m not a motivational business coach, but I can tell you that the greatest power in your business is how you treat your clients.

It’s easy to lose your cool on such an important day. This day is important to everyone, but WE are professional wedding photographers.

We come prepared.

When we lose something, we have a spare one in our camera bag, ready to pull out at a moment’s notice.

This applies to everything we bring.

Just make sure you bring your spare cool with you, and you’ll be chillin’ all day long.

“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?’”

– Brian Tracy (An actual motivational business coach)

Dealing with challenging people at a wedding (even the bride) is a great example of what I call the inner game of wedding photography.

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