The Engagement Session - So Much More Than a Photo Shoot
Issue #51
[Read Time < 6 Minutes]
In business, the connection between you and your client is extremely important.
They want to know, like and trust you, and you want to know, like and trust them, so this business transaction is a naturally good fit for both of you.
Creating a solid client connection is a bit of a dance, but ultimately results in you doing your best work and your client being thrilled with the results.
Wedding photography is a very personal business, and building a level of trust and connection isn’t just important, it’s essential.
It starts when you first meet
You had a great meeting with your couple. Your personalities clicked, they loved your work and decided to hire you to photograph their wedding. Congrats.
Now it’s time for everyone to get to know each other, and one of the very best ways to connect with your newly booked couple is to spend some time with them. And there’s no better way to do that (before the wedding day, of course) than with an engagement session.
Of course, every photographer handles their sessions differently, and every couple is unique. I won’t tell you there’s a right or wrong way, but I will give you my take on this photo shoot and you can modify it for your business.
For me, the Engagement Session is a comfortable and casual photo shoot, and I try not to make it too fancy or complicated.
This is a trial run for both you and your couple, and I’m a huge fan of this photo shoot for four pretty solid reasons.
#1 You get to see how your couple acts and interacts together, away from the interview
Talking with them is one thing, and that meeting can tell you a great deal, but seeing them “be” together is a whole other thing.
At the engagement session, you can now see how they talk with each other, how they walk with each other and how comfortable they really are together as a couple.
This might sound strange, but some couples are amazing together until the camera is on them, which brings us to number two.
#2 You get to see how well the couple acts when being photographed together
If a couple is loving and super comfortable with each other off-camera but super awkward when the camera is pointed their way, you have some work to do.
The wedding day is the one day when everyone looks amazing, but it’s your job to make them feel amazing... even when they don’t.
Here’s where a few prompts come in handy and last week’s post has more on that.
#3 You get to talk with your couple privately about the wedding day and their expectations
They’ve already hired you, so this shoot is a protected place for both of you to talk without parents.
It’s only happened once, but after the engagement session, and spending time with the couple alone, I felt something was off - something that didn’t present itself at the initial meeting.
It’s not uncommon to meet with the bride and her mom for the initial meeting, and this was the first time I met the groom.
I won’t go into any details, but the bottom line is that after spending time with just the couple, I realized we were not a good fit.
While we were shooting, there was a personality conflict that was more than awkward. If this had continued on the wedding day, it would have been bad.
It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was honest, and I helped them find a replacement who was a good fit, making it a win-win for both of us (and a photographer-to-photographer referral is very good).
At the engagement session, you can also talk to the two of them a bit more candidly about what they want, not just what their parents want.
This one small conversation can build a relationship like no other.
#4 The couple gets to see how you work
Each photographer is different and “handles” their couples differently.
Some photographers like to be very hands-on (literally).
They’ll physically move or shift the couple so they are in the exact position they want them to be in.
Others, like myself, are more hands-off and let the couple find their own comfort zone.
This approach does require a bit more work on my part, but it also gives the couple time to work through their posing on their own which helps them be their natural selves rather than a perfectly posed version of someone else.
I like to give some simple prompts and then see what they come up with. “Snuggle up a bit” or “Pretend you love each other” are good icebreakers for them.
Don’t forget, these two are probably NOT professional models or actors, so this session will more than likely be the first time they’re “lovey-dovey” in public.
Be patient, be a little playful and put them at ease.
Letting the couple see how you work is one of the most important reasons for the engagement shoot, and why I (almost) insist on shooting the engagement session.
It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes a friend who is an aspiring photographer wants to gift the couple a photo shoot. I won’t stand in their way, but I also want to extend a quick shoot with me as well.
The important part is for them to see me in action so there are no surprises.
After this shoot, they’ll know how I work. They’ll know I act behind the camera, how I interact with them and what they can expect from me on their wedding day.
This shoot is bigger than the photos
The engagement session might seem like a small shoot, but don’t underestimate how important it really is.
This is the time to genuinely connect with your new clients and prove to them that they made the right decision hiring you.
It may be hard to imagine now, but this photo shoot will be on display in one form or another for your couple’s entire life.
Here’s what I tell my couples who may not feel like it’s important or necessary (and you are free to borrow it if you want).
“What I love most about the engagement session is that this shoot preserves this time in your life. You’ll both look just like this for many more years, and until you have kids, it’ll just be the two of you.
Your wedding day is about this DAY in your life, but your engagement session is about this TIME in your life - when you met, fell in love and started your life journey together.”
And yes, I include the engagement shoot in every one of my collections, and yes, there is a dollar amount attached to it.
That’s important as well.
People tend not to value things that are given to them for free.
Hope this gave you a little more insight into the engagement sessions. If you have any questions about this shoot or how to connect with your couples, give me a shout.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
Shooting the engagement session is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.”
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