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Being funny is never a prerequisite for any business venture unless you’re a comedian, of course.
But having a good sense of humor is a tremendous asset for drawing people closer to you and building rapport, which IS a prerequisite for every successful business.
Humor is a universal sedative for anxiety, and it’s surprisingly useful in awkward social situations.
Wedding photographers are social animals.
We hunt, and we feed on interactions with others, and without them, we’re just wandering with a camera.
I think I have a pretty good sense of humor, and in tight social situations, I have a bit of a knack for creating little ice-breaking banter that lightens the mood fairly quickly.
Perhaps it’s my insecurity with silence or my love of dad jokes, but I’ve found that when you’re interacting with strangers and asking them to give you something at gunpoint, a little levity goes a long way (and yes, I’m referring to “giving” me a smile and my “gun” is a camera).
I haven’t held anyone up lately, as far as you know.
I do know it’s not easy for everyone to be charming and personable, nor is it easy to craft an effective one-liner right there in the moment, so here are a bit of my best bon mots I’m more than happy to loan to you for your next shoot.
(You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to use “bon mot” in a sentence!)
“Smoosh together and pretend you like each other”
I use this a LOT, primarily because I’m taking quick photos of couples a lot throughout the night.
While most couples are cool getting their photo taken, what they don’t know is that standing shoulder to shoulder makes them look like brother and sister...which is fine for brothers and sisters, but not for dating/married couples.
“Smoosh together and pretend you like each other” does a few things very quickly.
It lightens the awkwardness of getting their photo taken.
It reminds them that they are a couple after all.
It makes them smile because I frequently hear, in response, “We LOVE each other!” to which I often playfully reply, “OK, let’s see it!” prompting a loving embrace and smiles.
This is most effective with grandparents and older guests.
This fun line can be used for family, friends, couples, as well as small groups, but for larger groups, getting them quickly organized into a nice, tidy photo can be a challenge, so here are a few helpers.
“Tall kids in back, and let’s have my ‘down to earth kids’ up front”
Folks who are more petite don’t need to be reminded that they are more undersized than their taller friends, and they certainly don’t want to be called short.
“Down to earth” is a perfect alternative, and it always induces a smile from both the elevated and elfin alike.
“OK, I missed the last reunion, so clump together into your family units for me!”
When it’s time for the big family photo after the ceremony, the first thing you need is to get the little groups together so you can build the big group.
Family tends to wander, and the clock is ticking, so this is a great way to assert yourself without being too bossy.
Saying this in an elevated tone sounds a little playful while being informative at the same time.
When a restless kiddo has been found walking away, shouting out,
“Who owns this this little guy/girl!”
immediately catches the ear of any parent of small kids so they can corral their stray.
And when you’re quickly crafting those family groups, invariably, there will be someone without a spouse. Rather than saying something callous like, “Are you married?” I prefer the more puckish like,
“Are you flying solo today?”
that says the same thing without bringing up any deceased spouses or negative prospects in their lives.
Of course, I highly encourage you to assemble an arsenal of your own that suits your personality.
Classic comedians like Bob Hope, Henny Youngman and Bob Newhart have been great inspirations to me for that perfect tone without unnecessary tension.
Modern Comedians like Nate Bartgatze, John Mulaney and Steven Wright have also mastered the subtle art of clean, quick quips with an unexpected twist.
Bottom Line – It’s about your connection with the wedding guests.
Having a good sense of humor makes you more approachable and attractive, which is a big plus.
Making a connection with your couple is one thing. You’ve been working with them for months, and you’ve had an engagement shoot and a couple of hangs together. You don’t have to worry about building rapport with them.
It’s the wedding day when you’re introduced to a couple of hundred strangers, I mean, close family and friends, that poses the biggest challenge for you.
A good sense of humor is your greatest asset for disarming folks of any authority issues they might have and will easily turn being “bossed around” into being “playfully positioned.”
I like to consider humor as a social lubricant that softens any sensitive issues like marital status, stature or posing awkwardness that keep people from looking their best in their photos.
And that’s really what it comes down to, isn’t it?
Serving with a smile can’t be faked to make you look good. When YOU’RE happy, you’ll do your best work and make OTHERS look and feel good in the process.
Having a “servant heart” and a professional attitude is foundational, but being enjoyable to be around is a distinct competitive advantage.
And don’t worry, if you don’t want to use these, I won’t think you’re being lazy...I’ll just assume you’re in energy-saving mode :)
“Having a sense of humor saves you.”
– Joseph Campbell
Having a sense of humor is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.
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