The One Small Thing That Makes a Huge Difference When Meeting With a Bride

Issue #22

[Read Time < 6 Minutes]

This is one of the most fundamental sales lessons I am aware of.

You cannot be a profitable wedding photographer if you cannot sell with confidence.

What does “confidence” mean?

It means believing in your skills and your ability to deliver exceptional wedding photographs to your clients so much that if they don’t want to choose you, it’s their loss, not yours.

Yes, that may sound a bit arrogant because it probably is…and that’s the point.

I used to work for a national opinion poll when I was in college. It was a telemarketing gig, so if you couldn’t handle rejection, even over the phone, this was NOT the place for you.

There were plenty of people hired who couldn’t handle it when someone hung up on them.

There’s not much you can tell someone who gets discouraged except, “Pick up the phone and call someone else.”

You can’t take it personally.

Remember the line from The Godfather? “This is business, it’s not personal!”

I like how this line is featured in You Got Mail more, but that’s another story.

The Bottom Line - This is a business, so whatever happens, you can’t take it personally.

Someone doesn’t like your work? Fine, that’s their opinion. There are a LOT of people out there who will like your work, and those who won’t - that’s business.

Someone doesn’t like your attitude or personality? That’s fine too because it’s their opinion.

Others will love you because of your attitude or personality - that’s business.

This is about the confidence you have in yourself.

Bad News - Your confidence is not something you can simply go out and buy.

Good News - You can generate confidence within your mind and your heart for free, but it’s gonna take work.

Now, let’s be clear - confidence is not arrogance.

You can be arrogant with or without confidence, and you can be confident with or without arrogance.

I prefer to be confident, go easy on the arrogance and heavier on humbleness, but that’s just me.

How does this translate to selling?

Two big ways.

The first is being confident in yourself and your product.

If you’re not confident in what you’re selling, you’ll have a much more difficult time selling it (unless you’re a psychopath or a scammer).

It’s important, NO, essential to offer and deliver the best product you can sell.

There is a fine line between perfectionism and personal satisfaction in your work, but you’ll have to consult a shrink for more details on that one.

You know if your work is good enough to position yourself in your local marketplace.

If you really have a complex about this, ask a stranger or coworker what they think about your photo, and tell them to be honest. (Don’t ask your mom)

Once you’re comfortable with that space between your ears, set a high standard for your work and then strive to improve every week.

When you do this, The Market will determine if the price you put on your product is worth the value or if it needs to be lower or higher.

It’s your responsibility to listen to The Market.

Your confidence begins this transactional process, and your integrity (and love for weddings) will determine how long you’ll remain in business.

The second way is actually a byproduct that comes from NOT being confident.

It’s called desperation, and it’s one of the most insidious parts of selling.

Going back to my tele-polling days. When I saw someone getting discouraged and that discouragement turned to desperation, it was only a matter of time before they hung up the phone and then the towel.

No one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to hear someone beg, especially on the phone.

When you’re selling, NO one wants to hear how badly you need the sale. NO ONE wants to hear about your troubles. That is NOT a successful part of the business process.

Do you know what IS a successful part of selling?

Confidence with a little bravado, yes, even for the ladies!

Guys, you’ve probably been through it - that girl you always liked being attracted to the “bad guy.”

Why is that?

You’ve always been the good friend - always been there for her, and she’s attracted to HIM, the guy who doesn’t care? Life isn’t fair!

OK, enough about high school. The truth is, life isn’t fair, and the cool guy with the cool camera will sometimes book the wedding you wanted, but he didn’t do something you might have. He didn’t beg for it.

Sure, he might have wanted it too, but he didn’t let the client know. He played it cool. He might have even thrown in a little hard to get line like, “I’m not even sure I’m available on that day. Lemme find out,” just to stir up the emotions a bit.

(Cool guys are so cool!)

There are a couple of basic truths we need to understand here:

• People only care about themselves.

• People want what they can’t have.

• People don’t want things to be handed to them.

• Sometimes (many times), people want to chase what they want.

That explains high school, at least for me.

This may sound like I’m getting off the rails, but stay with me.

This is about your confidence and handling yourself when meeting with the bride.

You want to be genuine.

You want to be honest.

You want to keep your head even when the bride says she wants to fly you out to Napa for the engagement session (breathe…breathe…don’t smile just yet).

If you’ve honed your skill and you’re a good photographer, then this isn’t about photography...

This is about you.

That’s what this uber-niched wedding photography newsletter is all about.

Your confidence in you and your skills WILL make the difference between booking the wedding or not.

If the bride feels your confidence and does not feel any desperation, you’re in a good place.

If the bride is impressed with your work and feels a connection with you, you’re in a better place.

Now, just make everything else all about them and not you, and you’ll be in the best place...BOOKED.

If the bride cannot afford you, that’s OK. Another bride will. You must be prepared for that.

But that also brings up a really important part - Saying no to a bride you don’t want to shoot for.

If you have the confidence to say, “We’re not a good fit,” then you’ll be ready for anything. I can’t emphasize this enough.

Confidence is not about being arrogant.

Being a wedding photographer is about serving, and you must be confident in your ability to serve. You must be confident in your skills, and you must be confident in your ability to sell your skills.

Don’t forget, you’re not selling “photography,” you’re selling the preservation of the greatest day in her life. You’re selling the memories she’ll share with her grandkids.

You don’t have to wear a leather jacket or drive a motorcycle to be cool and confident. Just be yourself, let your confidence and class as a wedding professional show naturally, and you’ll be as attractive as if you rode up on a Harley with a Hasselblad

That’s why the bride is talking to you in the first place, right?

“Sales are contingent upon the attitude of the salesman, not the attitude of the prospect.”

– William Clement Stone

Selling with confidence is one small part of the “inner game of wedding photography and THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

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