Photographers vs. Coordinators: Why the Battle Exists? Should the Battle Exist?

Issue #39

[Read Time - 7 Minutes]

If you’re a sibling or have been a member of any team of any kind, you know what competition feels like.

Competition within the family has an even greater dynamic.

On a wedding day, there are several highly qualified, extremely talented wedding professionals, all doing their best to serve one client...a client you share.

Everyone wants to feel special and loved for the work they do, and they are all contending for the approval of the same client (now you get the sibling reference).

I admit I’m unaware of any serious competitive rifts between the cater and the cake decorator, or the florist and the DJ, but I am keenly aware of the rift between the Wedding Photographer and the Wedding Coordinator (NOT the designer, though sometimes they do both).

Some might say it’s less of a competition and more of a power play, but “tomayto” - “tomahto” it’s still real.

BUT can this professional rivalry somehow benefit you both?

I think it can...if you know how to approach it.

Let’s back up for a sec and ask the obvious question: Why Are You (Sometimes) at Odds anyway? You play totally different roles on a wedding day.

Perhaps we should define things for those who may not have experienced this before.

Wedding photographers and wedding coordinators have vastly different duties, granted, but both want the same thing - a flawless wedding day for their client (their shared client).

But I’ll be honest, it is easy to feel like we’re working against each other instead of with each other. How, you may ask?

The short answer is that both have significant control and sway over the bride regarding the day’s events, and this control can get competitive.

You want examples? OK, to help keep score at home, I’ll make “YOU,” the photographer and assign “THEY” as the coordinator.

You work in moments.

They work in timelines.

You’re chasing people, locations, composition and light.

They’re chasing people (for different reasons) and making sure dinner isn’t cold, the flowers are perfect, and grandma isn’t waiting an hour for family portraits.

You’re an artist.

They’re a project manager.

Your vision is primarily creative.

Their vision is primarily logistical.

When these worlds collide, there’s clear potential for tension.

You both think your job is the most important...and you’re both right, but in different ways.

How do we find common ground?

Let’s hit a few of the larger pain points that nag us both and see how to solve them.

The Timeline Tug-of-War

The Problem: You want enough time for the perfect shots - coordinators just want to keep everything on time.

The Fix: Get together early. Ask for their timeline and communicate your major needs before the wedding week. You know what your bride wants, and they know what their bride wants. Since you both have the same bride, figure out a timeline you can both play with so you both deliver for your bride.

The Vanishing Act

The Problem: You’re doing what you do best, moving around and getting great shots (sometimes inside and sometimes outside), but suddenly, the schedule changes, and you’re not where the coordinator wants you to be at that moment.

The Fix: Until the party moves into All Dancing Mode for the rest of the night, check in with the coordinator now and again. Just a simple “Hey, I’m popping outside to get a sunset shot, anything coming?” shows you care about them, and it earns you major respect. It might seem like you’re checking in with Mom, but it’s not that bad, and it beats having them text you all night.

The Ceremony Slink

The Problem: You want to get a unique shot during the ceremony, but the coordinator doesn’t approve of our movements.

The Fix: This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you really feel the tension. Here’s something else you can chat about BEFORE the wedding to avoid any surprises for anyone. You’re trying to get this photo for your bride, after all. This applies to the Church Lady (yes, they are real) as well, since they are the coordinator and representative for the church.

Family Formal Funny Business

The Problem: Family formals can take forever, especially when family members wander away, or there are surprise “special requests.”

The Fix: Share the shot list with the coordinator in advance so they can help keep things on time. They talk with the bride and mom more than you do, so they can help avoid unforeseen delays before they happen. Remember, they want the formals to wrap up just as fast as you do.

Like it or lump it, the ONLY one in charge at a wedding is the bride and/or mom.

When you try to trump this truth, any power play can easily backfire.

You think you’re in charge because, well... you’re The Wedding Photographer, and The Coordinator thinks they’re in charge because they coordinate everything. This is far too common, but when the struggle for supreme authority goes too far, no one wins.

Your bride certainly does NOT want to see her hired guns pointed at one another, and it’s just a bad look for the family and guests to see, especially when your actions can affect a successful outcome of the day.

Don’t ever forget that your potential referrals are always watching you.

While there’s no magic potion for calming an overly controlling coordinator, there are some clever tactics you can try to cool things off.

Ask for their opinion

This one goes way back to How to Win Friends and Influence People, but it’s still as powerful today as ever.

Coordinators are creative people, but after a day of telling everyone to go there and do that, they might feel more bossy than brilliant.

Get them on your side by asking if they know a cool place to take the couple or discuss the farewell with them. BE NICE!

Anything that shows you care about what they think about will break down any unnecessary barriers your bravado (or bravada) may have built.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

It’s tough to be on the wrong page when you BOTH wrote the planning guide for this wedding, but if you fail to work at it, it can still happen.

Another big part of communicating is giving each other a heads-up for anything unexpected.

Your access allows you to hear things that may come in handy for your coordinator at some point during the day. Sharing any tips or nuggets of caution might prevent something bad from happening, and just might keep a wedding day from turning ugly and making you both look bad.

You and the coordinator are two people who can control and fix things. You gain nothing by hoarding information or by taking all the glory.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work, and that’s really what all of this competitive cooperation comes down to - TEAMWORK.

This one day might seem like a big deal, but the odds are pretty good you’ll see each other again, so building a relationship is essential.

You want to build a good rapport so you’ll have someone looking out for you today AND looking out for you tomorrow, when another bride is looking for a wedding photographer and asks their coordinator friend for a referral.

You don’t have to be besties, but creating a solid professional respect is a MUST.

Remember: YOU own the Secret Weapon

Oh, did I forget to mention that while you’re serving your bride by taking amazing photos of the details and decor (something the coordinator probably had a hand in), you’re also creating a much needed portfolio for the coordinator?

Yuuuup!

YOUR photos help other vendors gain future business, and by showing some professional respect, a little grace (because we all need it), and free photos to the coordinator, you’ll gain more respect than you could ever pay for (now we’re talking Power Play).

I know it’s easy for me to say because I don’t have a coordinator breathing down my neck at the moment, but your professionalism doesn’t come all at once - it’s built little by little.

Each action (or reaction) either adds or subtracts another brick to the tower of your reputation. Build it as high and as strong as you can, and soon others will add bricks for you.

“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”

Ronald Reagan

Successfully dealing with the wedding coordinators is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography” and THIS is what I write about each week.

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If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.

It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.