The Room Where It Happens - Where the Wedding Day Really Starts
Issue #42
[Read Time < 5 Minutes]
Aaron Burr wanted to be there, but he was denied.
Fortunately for your bride, you get to be in the room where everything happens, and you brought your camera.
For the wedding photographer, the day typically starts with the hair and makeup for the female members of the bridal party.
This is one of my favorite parts because it’s completely unscripted, often very emotional and highly creative.
The BTS (behind the scenes) specifically of the bridal party is much more elaborate than a group of dudes putting on their suits and shoes and heading to the ceremony.
Of course, there’s a little more to it, but not much.
For the ladies, this backstage gathering is an event within itself.
Often taking place at a home or hotel room, The Prep, as I call it, is a time-honored ritual of getting ready for the wedding.
All the bridesmaids, moms, aunts and cousins gather together to get their hair and makeup professionally applied, put on their special dresses (that they will probably only wear once) and then crescendo to the bride putting on her wedding dress.
This pregame can last anywhere from 2-6 hours, depending on how many professionals are helping with the process.
In the big picture of the day, many think this prep holds little value. Sure, it’s just the “girls getting ready,” and while that seems like a small thing, as I tell my brides in our initial meeting, “This is part of the day that is immediately forgotten once the ceremony starts.”
The girls gathered together, drinking mimosas in their monogrammed silk robes, laughing, talking, singing, dancing, and bonding to celebrate the greatest day in the life of their friend, sister, or daughter is not insignificant, and it should not be forgotten, in my opinion.
That’s the power of your wedding photos.
For those who aren’t in the room where the pregame is held, it might not sound like anything “happens”...but you know differently.
This is where, for a short time, everything important happens - and you have a camera.
When Mom cries as she zips up her daughter’s dress
When the bridesmaids give a hilariously heartfelt toast to the last member of their college friend group to get married
When the bride’s grandmother presents her with a family heirloom for her “something borrowed”
When the bride got an uncomfortable amount of tule wadded up under her wedding dress and the maid of honor had to go “down under” to free it
Yes, these all happened and these are small yet powerfully meaningful moments that disappear when the ceremony starts.
Once the bride starts down the aisle, everything that happened before quickly becomes a distant memory.
And this is the heart of your mission - preserving those forgotten moments.
“But Chris, is this really that important?”
You might not consider yourself a storyteller, but don’t forget, your eyes are the only ones NOT emotionally invested in this day.
You might not feel like one, but you and your camera are there to observe and preserve, and once you click that shutter, the storytelling begins...and the fun begins.
When you first meet with your bride, you get to hear about all her plans and aspirations for the day.
When the prep starts on the wedding day, the plans are in motion, and it’s game on.
2-6 hours of hair and makeup might seem like a long time, but put yourself in the mind of the bride.
She’s about to say the two most powerful words she’ll ever say to another person and seal it with a life commitment.
Do you think she wants to look good? Yup!
Do you think she might be a bit nervous? Yup again!
This is what makes your photos of this backstage so impactful!
Only a select few people get to be there in person for this time, but with your photos, you get to capture and preserve the emotions - the calm before the awesome craziness of a wedding reception.
This is the quiet final chapter of the bride-to-be surrounded by the most important people in her life.
This is also the place where about 40% of the wedding day details are found.
And this is why the preparation photos matter.
This is your wedding gift to the happy couple.
You get to look, SEE, and bring all of these wonderful details back to the bride.
And as a bonus, you can give the groom an answer to his burning question, “Why in the world did it take six hours to get ready?!”
The ceremony is the heart of your couple’s wedding day story, the reception is the climax, but the prep is where it all begins.
This is the prologue to the day. Where characters are revealed and where you build that initial connection in the story.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. This might sound a little too romantic for the role of a wedding photographer.
I assure you, there’s nothing “too” about it.
It is that good.
"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."
— Dr. Seuss
The importance of shooting the bride’s BTS is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.
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If you’re starting and haven’t quite figured out how to handle the hundreds, or even thousands, of photos from an event, I’ve created something to help.
It’s a guide to help you process your wedding in one week, and it’s a system I’ve used for over 25 years and still use today. Don’t spend weeks processing and miss out on The Glow. This system will help you get your photos to your client, make them happy and make you look like the professional you want to be.