[Read Time - 6 Minutes]
You’re an artist, I understand that.
Your creativity and uncanny ability to look for a moment, see a moment and preserve it with a timeless style and flair are unmatched.
You don’t need someone telling you what to shoot.
But what if the bride wants to give you some suggestions?
What if you receive...a Shot List? (Dun, dun, duuuuun!)
Before diving any deeper, let’s define some terms for the uninitiated who haven’t had the pleasure of receiving this.
There are two kinds of shot lists - one is good, and the other is less than good.
The good one is for the family formals and group photos, and yes, this is a very helpful and valuable list to have. Read more about shooting the formals in Issue #17.
The “less than good one” is a list of shots the bride would like you to take for her on her wedding day.
What’s wrong with that, you might ask? OK, let’s get into it.
For the bride, her wedding day is a day she’s been dreaming about since she was probably too young to date. Now, it’s finally happening for her, and she has ideas.
From bridal magazines to Pinterest to The Knot and basically the entire internet, there are a LOT of wedding resources she can gather ideas from when planning her day.
These ideas are especially helpful regarding her colors and creative concepts for her decor. And because she’s working hard to make her wedding look amazing, she should expect you to shoot these details.
BUT
While she sees design inspiration, the bride also sees cool photos from other brides’ weddings that woo her.
The tricky part is that many of these wooable shots aren’t necessarily real.
Real moments happen because they happen, making them so magical.
Many of these magazine moments are staged shots meant to look unstaged (I call them posed)...and there’s nothing wrong with that...except that they are not real.
Seeing other people’s wedding photos can inspire some brides to say, “I want that moment at my wedding.”
An example might be "A shot of the groom smiling at me during the ceremony, but I’m not looking at him.* (I actually got this request).
The first things that popped into my head were some rather important questions.
Will the groom even do this?
When will he do it?
Will it last long enough for me to capture it?
Here’s where things can get sticky and tricky.
You want to do your best to preserve those super-special, memorable moments, but will requests like this cause you to miss other super-special moments?
This is where good communication with your bride comes in.
You want what she wants (great photos), and unless you’re born without a heart (and have terrible business acumen), you also want to please her.
It’s essential to let her know you’ll be constantly looking for those spontaneous, memorable moments, BUT you also need to be savvy enough to take full advantage of those controlled moments (posed shots with the couple) as a way to weave in some opportunities to get them being loving AND spontaneous.
You can call these shots “semi-posed” or even “semi-prompted,” and here’s how they work.
When you’re shooting some casually posed photos of the couple, step back for a second and say something like, “You two talk amongst yourselves for a second while I change my lens,” or something like that, and while their guard is down and not looking at you, peek back and snag a quick shot of them just being newlyweds in love.
THOSE are magical moments, and THOSE are real moments that will override many of those less-than-real suggestions she found on her favorite wedding site.
OK, this is some nice stealthy advice, Chris, but what do you do when you’re handed that dreaded list even after a nice talk with the bride?
You do what a professional would do - Bite the bullet and do your best to get the requested photos.
But there is something you can do to help you both.
I recommend discussing everything on the list in detail so you’re clear about what she’s asking for.
This conversation tends to reveal the reality of the requests, and she’ll see that many of them might not be for her after all.
She may still have a few ideas firmly embedded in her head, and you’ll have to do your best to get ‘em, because again, you’re a pro, and that’s what pros do.
I’ve seen a number of amazing photos shown to me by brides as “inspiration photos,” and I’ve found many of them were actually staged (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
This should encourage you because these are cool photos and you CAN stage them, too, and, using my stealthy tip, make them look natural.
How do you avoid having someone give you the list in the first place?
Now, that’s the real question, and I have a real answer.
It starts when you first meet. What you show the bride is what she envisions getting for her wedding day.
If she sees your work and how well you’ve captured everything, she’ll be comfortable and confident that you’ll shoot her entire wedding THAT way.
And if you go one step further and talk about your process and how much attention you spend looking for everything important to her, she’ll be even more comfortable that you’ll take good care of her, and she won’t even consider giving you a list of “inspirational” shots.
When you meet, talk about your photos. Tell the stories behind them and describe how, sometimes, things just happen, but you were in the right place at the right time with a camera pointing right at it.
Sometimes, it is luck, but most of the time, it’s your preparation and attention and that my fantastic photographer is called skill.
And you can take your communication one huge step further.
During your pre-wedding call on the Monday or Tuesday of the wedding week, ask if there is any special or out-of-the-ordinary that you should pay attention to.
This question should also be on your Wedding Worksheet, which the bride submits before this call, but it’s still a good one to revisit the week of the wedding, since a lot of time has passed since she last saw this worksheet.
By asking for things that are “out of the ordinary,” there is a perceived assumption that you’re shooting everything “ordinary,” and that’s a good assumption (just make sure you do it!).
Also, during this call or meeting, ask the bride, “Is there a list you’d like me to shoot from or would you like me to just do my thing?”
This is a loaded and semi-trick question because if you’ve established a good rapport and trust with the bride, she’ll never say, “No, I think I’ll give you a list. I don’t trust you to do your thing.“
But by asking, you’re giving her the respect she deserves, and she’ll appreciate that.
One important thing not to forget is that bridal magazines and bridal sites still offer those handy lists for the necessary photography shots. Look at these lists and talk about them with your bride.
These lists were created to help brides understand all the little things photographers often miss.
By addressing these first, you’ll give her the confidence she wants, and that kind of confidence usually keeps any list from her at bay.
Remember, no one is trying to disrespect you. Brides and moms have a lot to consider when planning a wedding day, and they’ve been making a lot of lists throughout the entire process.
They do this so they don’t forget things. It’s your job to convince them that they don’t need a list when it comes to the photography.
Ask yourself, “What can you say to assure them that you got them covered from tip to tail?”
This is what you say, and then that’s is what you do.
“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”
– Stephen Covey
BTW, if you want to see the full-sized photo of the groom looking at the bride during the ceremony mentioned above, check out the header image from Issue #1.
Want to know how I got it? A lot of preparation and a lot of luck.
Getting a shot list is one of the little parts of the “inner game of wedding photography.” THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.
THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.
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What I get most out of reading this newsletter for months now is how much the psychology of dealing with people plays into the wedding photography business almost as much as anything you do with the camera.